The stuff of life

Here are just a few things that happened today;

Paxton cried because he just wanted to go on a fishing trip with big daddies. Then he got over it because he realized that he was going to go on a big airplane in just two days with mom and Shepherd AND there was going to be a pool at the hotel. Score!

Ella kissed me and hugged me and told me that I was her favorite girl and that I was also her best friend. You want to cry right now, don't you? I did.

Paxton and Ella played catch in the family room as baby Shepherd looked on. Then? Then he LAUGHED--he BELLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD at them playing catch. It was the sweetest thing. ( Did I mention that he can sit up now?)

All in all, I can say this has been a 5 star day. My husband left this morning for 7 days and I am going to miss him terribly. We even had a "first" together. Last night, we decided that we should have a date or something like it before we parted ways for a week. So...get this, I went to a bar for the first time. Seriously. My first time in a bar. I have been to plenty of restaurant/bars and had cocktails in lounges. But I have never been to an actual "belly up to" kind of bar. Um, I haven't been missing much. We did laugh a lot which was so much fun. Sometimes I forget just how funny Steve is.

I am so blessed. A six month old who spontaneously laughs out loud, A two and half year old who, on average, is sweeter more than she isn't now, and a four year old who wears his big ol' heart right on his sleeve. Oh, yeah, and a husband who makes me laugh too! God is so good to this family. This is the stuff of life.

I just started reading Danielle Bean's blog and she is awesome. Pregnant with her 8th. Much food for thought today.

A full bowl.

Oh, Grandparents. Grandparents are so important, aren't they? They're important when we're small children because they either supplement our parents leadership and discipline or they just spoil us rotten. Sometimes both.

I have found this strange occurrence as of late that my Grandparents, and large part of the rest of my family too, have failed to grasp the fact that I neither want nor need them to discipline me or spoil me. I am grown now and have children of my own that need supplemental spoiling and disciplining. It is so strange. This thing about growing up. I am almost 27 years old now and I feel like I am still trying to explain to most of my family members (excluding my immediate family obviously) that I am a "Big Girl" now, leading my own little family with my husband, paying my own bills, having my own house to clean and take care of, and my own children's needs to put before my own. I raise children, volunteer, and take care of our home. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to (as my mother likes to say) pull up my big girl panties and get over it. End of diatribe.

I feel like I am stuck in that whole rock and hard place cliche' right now. I prayed for God to bring more support to us, more Godly families to encircle our family, more strength and a stronger desire for us to lead our children in faith. Now, I find that we are SO BUSY doing thing and being invited to go places with these wonderful Godly people that I am getting tired! Knock and it shall be opened unto you! Our social calendar is already full most of the week and, for the rest of the summer, is mostly full on the weekends too. When am I supposed to praise God and say 'Thank you', and when am I supposed to say, 'enough'? God put these children into our lives for a reason, didn't he? Aren't we supposed to be good stewards of our time and money? I'll just keep truckin'. Er....praying, I mean.

I picked cherries from our two cherry trees yesterday. I filled FOUR boxes and there are still a ton of cherries on the trees. We felt like Santa Claus today, dropping bags of cherries off on doorsteps across two towns. It makes me smile just thinking about it. I was high in the ladder yesterday and found myself saying prayers of thanks many times. I just kept thinking about how blessed we are that we have this beautiful and fresh fruit right out our back door. Just some trees planted. To nourish. To provide. If time were tough for us right now, we could just walk out our back door and have cherries for dinner. Our bowls are certainly half full, never half empty.

Incidentally, I only fell off the ladder once yesterday. I looked around quickly, darting my eyes left to right. It's okay. Nobody saw me. Tip for the day: cherry tree limbs cannot hold a 140+ pound, arm-flailing woman. Do not attempt to try.

Literary tidbits

Another fabulous excerpt:

" Patience is faith in action. Patience is emotional diligence. It's the willingness to suffer inside so that others can grow. It reveals love. It gives birth to understanding. Even as we become aware of our suffering in love, we learn about ourselves and our own weakness and motives.

So, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, "We must never, never, NEVER give up!" No matter how far we feel we have gotten off track, we can always take steps to correct the course. Our children are bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh. We will and must reclaim them, always. As a friend of mine likes to title her blog, " The journey" is what matters, not just the destination. Contrary to popular myth, the destination DOES matter too. Whoever we are, we are a part of some family. And family love is in a league of it's own.

Thank you once again, Stephen R. Covey.

I am really digging this book, obviously. We had a rather longish day today. I had an all-day training session at Crossroads regarding abstinence training and counseling. Grammy Vivian took the the kids to the aquatic center for almost six hours! And, of course, no trip to the aquatic center is complete without floaties, barbie life jackets, your favorite colored (orange and pink) beach towel, sugary slurpies and hotdogs. Oh, and maybe a teensy bit of sunscreen thrown on for good measure. They were SO excited and had such a good time. Steve and I have GOT to start getting into swimming and shit like that. Oh.....how I loathe bathing suits. I just need to suck it up, or "suck it in" rather and do it for my kids.

Steve's 28th birthday was yesterday and he is in the kitchen singing right now. It is SO cute. It goes something like this...ahem..."It's my birthday and now it's not, so I think I'll eat some blue and white cake..." "with frosting in the middle and a bit on the top and on the backside, Yeah! It's really kind of good, but it could be better cuz it's butter cake and that's really hard to make from scratch. ....Yeah!" It's really quite a shame that you can't hear the amazing level of tone deafness that Steve embodies. Anyway, he is 28 now and for some reason, I have a feeling that this is going to be a really good year.

I have been so tired lately and Shepherd hasn't been sleeping well at all. I had my thyroid checked and all is well. So, what the hell. I guess I might just actually be tired from getting up with a six month old upwards of four times a night right now. What's making it more difficult is that the boys are sharing a room now, so when one wakes up so does the other. We'll get this thing figured out soon enough I suppose. I happen to think it's quite good for children to share rooms. Call me old fashioned. Call me cheap. Call me a proponent of child labor.

I am off to bed now. Steve is golfing ALL day tomorrow so I need to rest up! It's time to pick the cherries in the backyard and I am going to have to do a lot of management and supervising while the kids are on those ladders getting the high ones for me.

"we" mentality.

As excerpt from the book I am reading right now;

"When your happiness comes primarily from the happiness of others, you know you've moved from "me" to "we". And the whole problem-solving and opportunity-seizing process changes. But until family is really a priority, this movement does not usually take place.

A beautiful family culture is a "we" culture. It reflects that movement. It's the kind of culture that enables you to work together to select and move toward a "together" destination and to contribute, to make a difference- in society generally and perhaps to other families in particular. It also enables you to deal with the powerful forces that would throw you off track-including turbulent weather outside the plane ( the culture we live in and things such as economic dislocation or sudden illness over which you have no control) and turbulent social weather inside the cockpit (contention, lack of communication, and the tendency to criticize, complain, compare and compete)."

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families"--Stephen Covey

The Glue.

My husband. My beautiful husband is the glue.

Today, my husband, in an effort to support me to make this Father's Day really special, put up with my family and all our dysfunctional glory for FOUR HOURS on HIS special day. As I type this I am sitting here, feeling overwhelmed with love for Steve- overwhelmed that he continues to give of himself, of his time, of his peace even when he so clearly shouldn't have to. I love that about my husband. I am so sorry that I made him listen to me cry over yet another disappointment with my brothers, when he could have just as easily ( and rightly so I might add) been out on a lounge chair, having a icy cold drink and having some peace and quiet. I love him so much.

I love that my children have a father who takes his job as "FATHER" more seriously than any other job. I love that when they want a hug or need reassurance he is always there, usually squatting down so that they can see his beautiful and comforting smile. I love that he takes the time to listen to them. He listens and engages, never shooing them away as I can so easily recall, when reflecting on my own childhood. Even if he actually is too busy for them, he never says it. He never belittles them. He makes them feel safe, loved, special, wanted, valuable and important. He lets them be the little people they are without fear that he is constantly screwing them up or not putting enough "in" or taking too much "out", as I am guilty of doing, almost every minute of every day I have with them. He lets them be. He lets himself be. That makes room for God, who is the ultimate Father and the best Teacher of all.

I could not have picked Steve for myself because, all of the qualities that I thought were important or even "necessary" to have in a spouse, aren't. Steve has shown me that vibrant cheering can just as easily be replaced by a warm hand to hold. That athleticism will never compare to availability. That crying can be one of the sexyist things a man can do. He has shown me a world of manhood that I had never seen before nor will I likely see again. He is more than a man. He is my perfect husband. He is my children's perfect father. He is God's perfect son. He is the most gentle, intelligent, compassionate, generous, funny, life-filled, spiritually inspiring man I have ever known. His arms maintain the perfect blend of strength, enabling him to protect any one of us, and of softness, against which we can fall when we are breaking inside.

My husband is the glue. I love him. I honor him and strive to be more like him. He inspires me often and I have loved him from the moment I set eyes on him. Somehow, if it's possible, I am more sure of my love for him in the middle of an argument, after almost six years of marriage, than I was in the midst of pure ecstasy the moment he proposed. Is that possible? Because that's how I feel.

Happy Father's Day, my beautiful husband. Thank you for our three beautiful children. Thank you for you. Thank you for your love and your provision. You make it all possible, and for that I more grateful than you can know.

Timing is everything.

So, we're sick. Yep, that'd be why I have been so tired and Paxton has been so whiny and Ella has been so.......two.

Currently, we are averaging a mean temperature around here of 100.0. ( Averaging a mean? Is that redundant?) I am cold, Paxton is "so cold", Ella has been naked at times, Shepherd is clothed (but probably wouldn't be if he could tell me how he really felt) and Steve is his usual "sweating his balls off".

Oh, that's right. Anyone hear me say "and Father's day is coming up"? Cuz it is. That sucks. I am supposed to go to a bridal shower on Saturday afternoon, Steve is supposed to go to a poker party later tonight (to which I think he'll "suck it up" and go), Father's Day and Mass are Sunday. Timing. Timing my friends. Timing is everything.

I decided to let everyone ride out their temperatures and only medicate at night when we all need our precious sleep. Fevers are so good for us, but we have culturally brainwashed to believe that we should take them away ASAP so that we "feel better" only to inevitably prolong whatever alien has come in and tried to take over every square inch of our bodies. My motto? Burn em out! My our bodies like a LIVING HELL IN WHICH THEY HAVE CHOSEDN TO DWELL.

The end.

bring it.

What a crazy day we have already had and it is only 2:45pm. I dropped Paxton off at a friend's this morning so that Ella, Shepherd and I could make a "costco run". I am sure you are all familiar with what that is. SIX HUNDRED THIRTEEN DOLLARS AND NINETY TWO CENTS LATER, I had what I needed and both kids were still alive. Now it was time to buckle up, drive to the gas station, stop, get gas, feed Shepherd, get Ella a snack and something to drink, buckle up, drive home, drop Ella and Shepherd off, put them down for naps, go get Paxton and deliver some frozen chicken to said friend who kept Paxton.

All was well and Paxton was in the car. By now, I was feeling tired. I know. Shocker. So...while Paxton is gazing out the window, looking as pooped as I felt, I asked the following questions and here were his answers;

Me: "Are you tired?"

Paxton: "No"

Me: "Do you think you need a nap?"

Paxton: "No"

Me: "Do you want to take a nap in Mom's bed?"

Paxton: "No"

Me: "Do you want to just lay down and take a rest and play your Thomas video?"

Paxton: "No"

Me: ---audible sigh and long pause--------

Paxton (turning to look at me now): "Are you all outta ideas?"

Me : "Yep"



So....Paxton is still awake and I am still tired. Damn kids who outgrow naps.

what to order....

Just a little taste of most of our day today:

Mommy: "What do you want to order for dinner, honey?"

Paxton: "Umm......a little peace and quiet."

The end.

Good time had by all

Well, we're back from Nashville. It was wonderful. We did a lot. We played a lot. We slept a lot. We ate a lot. We drove a lot. We read the paper a lot (okay, I read the paper a lot). We nursed Shepherd A LOT. My nipples have never quite felt like the personal chew toy of another human being before, like they do now. Anything to get through layovers, take-offs, landings and time changes. It was worth it. He can chew on my nipples anytime he wants if it means that I can take a week off from every other household chore!

Steve and I have been catching up today on emails, laundry, housework, watering plants...etc. I think I am on load five of laundry. Just a few minutes ago I was in the laundry room, folding, when the phone rang. It was my brother-in-law. He said, "Hey! How was your trip?" I say, "Great! It's good to be back too. I missed the kids." He says, "What are you up to?" I say, "Oh, you know, just doing ton of laundry...Reaping what I sow". He says, " You sewed some laundry while you were gone?" Ohhhhh......Heavens. He's cute. He is so nice. He also thinks that I made up the word "gelatinous".

I didn't miss the kids until about day three of our trip and even then it was a forced yearning. But man, when we were killing time on Sunday, waiting for our 7p.m. flight out of TN, I was REALLY missing them. We couldn't get to Moses Lake fast enough this morning to get them! We pulled up and Ella, yes Ella, came RUNNING to the van with the biggest, sweetest smile on her face. It was so precious. It felt so good. She jumped into Steve's arms and then mine for big hugs. Paxton was so excited that he couldn't stay in the hiding spot that he had so cleverly picked out. ( He has a habit of giggling during hide and seek, so I don't know what in the world made him think he could pull THIS off, this a moment of pure exhilaration to see his MOM AND DAD AND BABY BROTHER) After that, I don't know who was more excited, them or us.They kept coming in for bear hugs and kisses. Both of them jumped up on the chair next to me at different time and wanted to hold and kiss Shepherd. Paxton was tickling him and singing "rock-a-bye baby" to him. Does it get any sweeter than that? I ask you?

Steve and I loved that when we left this year for "our" vacation, the kids had each other. It is so comforting to know that they are each others "lovey's". Some kids have a doll, some have blankies, some have strange sock puppets. Our kids have each other. That one constant that keeps telling you, over and over again, "I'm here, reminding you of home, of our family." I love that they kiss and hug each other and that when Ella pounds Paxton over the head and immediately says, "Sorry Paxy", he looks at her and says, "It's okay Boo-Boo, I 'give' you".

Icing on the cake? Having your housekeeper house-sit for you. What do housekeepers do when they get bored? Yep, CLEAN. This house is Sparkling. She organized MY FREEZER! Who does that?! Just when I was thinking I was paying her too much. Now I sort of feel like I owe her $60.00 every two weeks...and maybe a kidney or some other useful organ too.

I hear that the dryer has stopped. Must press on. Must fold more laundry. That is the nature of the vacationing beast. Off to reap what I sow....er, sew some laundry. Either way, it'll suck.

It's Sunday Six time again.

1. Why do we celebrate Memorial Day?

P cuz we like to. Cuz it's fun.
E think ... think because Noni's coming over


2. How do we celebrate Memorial Day?

P I don't know.
E um. nothing, no.

3. What is a memory?

P hmmm....remembering?
E um, nothing.

4. What is your best memory?

P A firetruck! I remember when it lifts the ladder up in the sky!
E no answer. We tried.

5. What do we cook when we BBQ?

P pancakes
E hot dogs!

6. Where is your favorite place to BBQ?
P Right inside! (lots of laughter and exclamations of what a joker he is..)
E um, picnics

long days and hard alcohol

You know it's a long day when you are instant messaging your spouse. Not because you miss them, no. But because you just looked up at the clock and realized that it is ONLY 3:30. You still have almost TWO MORE HOURS to go before you can actually say you are "done" with your day. Further, when do you know your spouse is having an equally long day? When he suggests that, to kill some time, you mix some drinks. Yeah, nothing passes the time like a mid afternoon Amaretto Sour. Why didn't I think of that? Good one Steve!

I have been doing stupid busy work all day, sort of chasing my tail around. I am trying to get ready for all of us being gone for seven days. Um, I have NEVER been an early packer. Try as I may, it just doesn't work for me. I can make lists, but that's about as much as I get done. I am not sure why. Either I am incredible disorganized, or I am SO organized that I don't really have to think about it much. I just do it. I am going with number two.

A friend of some friends of ours just passed away in his sleep the other night. He was 29. Steve looked at me the other night in the van on the way home, and said, quite frankly, "You know, we are getting to the age when people around us are going to start dying". I realize that seems comical, given we're only in our late 20's, but the fact of the matter is that if we can't embrace our own mortality, what will our lives have meant? If we walk around feeling invincible, then what is it that we will have accomplished? Certainly nothing of any depth. Conversely, if we are always convinced we could die tomorrow, we might also miss the opportunity to serve someone else, because we'll be so fixated on just eeking out that last little bit of fun from life that we can. Oh.....death. So common, so hard to embrace, so hard to understand. But ye though the rewards are great!

Only I could begin blogging about hard alcohol and boring days to the rewards of eternal life.

So close I can taste it...

So many things are so close I can taste them. My first vacation alone with my husband in almost a year (well, Shepherd will be with us, but does that really count?). My two-year-old running up to me and exclaiming, unprompted, "Mommy, I love you!" My four year old starting to be, overall, more helpful than hindering. The days when we are waking up at 7:00 instead of 5:30 and getting out of bed rested and energetic instead of dragging ass for about two hours, desperately waiting for that coffee to "kick in". When I am COMFORTABLY back into my size eight clothes, instead of tucking all things into them, praying that a button won't pop off if I should happen to accidentally SIT DOWN. So close I can taste it.

My retreat was amazing. It is so beautiful in Winthrop, right along the Methow River. The people that own it, offer it as a retreat center, but it is actually their own private sprawling 100+acre ranch with horses and calmly grazing sheep on beautiful green meadows. You enter their estate and there is a big sign that reads, "The Lord is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want". Let me tell you, I did not "want" the entire time I was there. I just thanked and honored Him. I am reading "The Power of a Praying Parent" right now, since I just admitted OUT LOUD last weekend that there are some times that I look at my two-year-old and want to throw her against the wall. It might have been one of the most humbling experiences I have ever had. What was even more beautiful than the sheep and the horses and the meadow and the river? 9 women, all mothers, crying with me and telling me they had been there too. Nothing feels as good as knowing you're not alone. The desert is always so much drier when you're walking in it alone.

Steve is going to Seattle again today. This would be the third time in 8 days. Oh Nashville, how I long to see your face.

The topic of the retreat was "The Beatitues" from the Sermon on the Mount. I am trying to "offer it up" a little more and bitch a little less. This life here on earth is SO short compared to what we're headed for. ETERNITY. Like Fr. Richard says, " Hey, none of us are getting outta this alive".

I am so excited for summer to be here. It has been in the 90's and finally started cooling off a bit this last week. 90's? May? Crazy. I still hate dirt, but I am finding that as long as I am using protection on my hands I am actually enjoying working in it and tending my flowers! Too bad the flowers need the dirt. :( I would NEVER condone having it around my home otherwise.

Oh...a laugh for the road. Our housekeeper gave me a mini-lecture about not letting the kids eat anywhere but at the table because fishy cracker crumbs are causing an "ant problem". Yeah. I pay you 60 dollars for 4 hours of work. Shut up. (Inside, trying not to feel like the dirtiest mother that ever lived. How could I let my children eat crackers AND watch a movie at the same time?! I am pond scum.)

off to a retreat

I am headed to Winthrop Washington tomorrow for a two-day spiritual retreat with 30 other women. Shepherd will be coming along of course, but even so I am still looking forward to the solitude and quiet. It seems pretty informal and unstructured. Eat when you want, walk when you want, pray when you want. No T.V's, no cell phones, nothing to make noise (except the 5 month old baby of course. He turns 5 months old tomorrow!) Just our own little slice of silent heaven. Stay tuned.........

I just might come back ready to abandon my family and join the Daughters of Charity. Or, as Paxton says, not probably.

The Faceoff.

Well, it has finally happened. I have finally come head to head in a direct challenge......from my two-year-old.

Ella sat, buckled in her seat tonight at the dining room table for a little less than three hours. Until she finally fell asleep. Yes, it's true. Put down the phone. No need to call CPS. Well, I guess you can if you want to, but it would likely only save me from the insanity of having to reason with a two-year-old anyway. She wasn't screaming or even crying really. Just direcly refusing an order.

You wanna know what I refuse? I refuse to nurture a "picky eater". REFUSE TO. I won't do it. I have seen too many kids who "just won't eat that". Now, I can be reasonable. I won't force my children to eat liver, or raw onion, or endive, or even papaya if they don't want to. But something about carrot sticks seems pretty damn reasonable to me. ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE HAS EATEN THEM BEFORE. So....there she sat. And we'll do it all over again tomorrow night if we have to. I remember hearing my Dad tell a story about his mother doing the same thing with him involving broccoli. And he still loves her! Can you believe it? Did I mention that he eats broccoli now? AND LIKES IT?!

No one tests my will. I will win. You will lose. The end.

Happy Mother's Day.....

I am so excited for tomorrow. I don't know what we are doing for sure except of course for going to Mass in the morning and Steve is taking me out to dinner (our first date alone since Shepherd was born FIVE MONTHS ago) tomorrow night. That will be so awesome. I can't really even describe how much I miss my husband, especially lately for some reason. We spend so much time together, but often it is punctuated with wiping someone's butt or breaking up a fight or organizing, painting, cleaning, and reorganizing something.

This Mother's Day feels so special to me. I have not yet had this level of appreciation for mothers everywhere that I do now. Steve and I were talking about that last night. You really don't realize when you are a child or even young adult without children, just how much mothers do. It is thankless, without glory or accolades, devoid of raises or bonuses, and certainly grueling and exhausting some days. But, it is by far the best job I have ever had. Ever. I cannot imagine missing these years, or just not really caring about them. Here's to all of my mother friends.

I have a friend that gave a child up for adoption eight years ago, when she was quite young and unmarried. She sent an email to all of her friends today, some who know her story of adoption and some who don't, asking everyone to remember all those mothers who gave their children life, with or without raising them themselves. It was so beautiful and made me so grateful to all of those women who chose life for their children. So beautiful. My brother-in-law was adopted and two cousins were adopted. I highly doubt they regret it. :)

Oh, Dini caught a snake this morning. Well, actually Steve spotted it, told the kids to get away, they came to get me, Steve was trying to kill it with a big metal stick and then Dini thought he'd have a little fun "finishing him off". It was disturbing and pride invoking all at the same time. To see our Labrador Retriever, protecting our family, annihilating this slithering creature, keeping our children out of harm's way. Did I mention he shook it violently until he was sure it was dead and then he bit it's head off? It was fascinating. Ahh.....the country life.

"Power of a Praying Parent"

Stormie O'Martian's "Power of a Praying Wife" changed my life. It changed Steve's life. Literally. I just ordered her book "Power of a Praying Parent". There are days, specifically relating to Miss Ella, that I think to myself...."What exactly am I doing here? Where am I trying to lead my family? Do I serve a greater purpose other than maid, cook, and driver? Do I make a difference at all? I do. I know that I do. I just need some help bringing me back to feeling it. O'Martian's books are awesome because she gives you like thirty areas of each person's life to pray for! Call me Abraham, because there are some days when sacrificing my child to glorify God seems not altogether an impossible task. At least if I start praying for them, I KNOW they'll go to heaven! Like a friend said to me recently, I can be pretty persuasive.

Should it offend me that I can see that over 60 people have viewed my profile and only ONE comments on a regular basis? Nobody likes me. I guess I'll go eat some worms.

The Principal of the school wants me to go speak to the Moses Lake parish this Sunday. A friend and I spoke to the Ephrata Masses about two months ago. It seemed to make an impart and we actually got five new students after we spoke. Time to rev em' up again! I am hopeful that someone will feel spoken to. There are too many people with children in public education that just seem to be sacrificing too much. Can you imagine a world filled with schools that begin with asking the Lord to help them throughout the day and to bring them comfort, schools that pray for a new family every day of the school year? Whoa.

I am wearing a yellow shirt today. I feel like a big bumblebee. I think I need to go change.

A new teacher named after a dude.

Neili is our new hire. She is AWESOME! We interviewed some serious duds yesterday, but after Neili ( who is named after her Uncle Neil) walked in, we knew she was it. I kept waiting for her wings to accidentally pop out of the back of her suit jacket. She is amazing, has her masters and six years of teaching experience with not just nice references, but references that said " she was the best teacher they had ever known". She is all of 27 or 28, married her high school sweetheart ( who is a very left-brained engineer, which I happen to be partial to :), and she has a four month old son. She said she is totally in love with her new baby AND she misses her older babies. ;) How sweet. We are all pulling together and trying to find her childcare.

God answered some serious prayers today.

Also, our roof is looking amazing. I cannot believe this total transformation our house has taken on. It is truly unbelievable. I hope Steve and I never become boring people. This is just too fun!!

Camping Trip.

Steve did something very fun tonight. He made an entire camping experience for the kids and me. The tent is set up in the back yard right in front of our "campfire" firepit. We ate turkey dogs, and made s'mores! The kids got to help roast weenies and shmellows alongside daddy, fashioning roasting skewers out of a limb from our cherry tree (sharpening them into points with an exacto-knife. Do people take those camping?) Daddy brought out some blankies and pillows and we told, or read rather, stories- all of us snuggled up like four bugs in a rug, er....tent.

Okay, so the RAW thing is off. That was an incredible experience and one that I want to try again when I am not nursing anymore. I didn't have the "INSANE" energy I set myself up to believe I would have, which was a bit of a let down. I do however completely believe in the premise. I AM going to do it again. Right now though, I don' t think I can afford to be so run down and miss out on that time with my family. I really missed cooking too. I still cooked for the rest of the family, but it wasn't the same. When your heart isn't in it, the food can't be THAT good.

Steve and I are now having a weight loss challenge. He doesn't know that we are actually competing yet, but he will after he reads this. Now I just have to figure out what the prize will be. Since we decided that we're complete fat asses, we actually fought Dini for the ball. Let me explain..... I stand, in the proper ball-throwing, fetch-playing stance with my arm ready to throw the baseball for Dini. Dini stands in the "Are you throwing it? Are you throwing it? Are you throwing it? Are you throwing it? Are you throwing it?" position waiting for me to...you guessed it, throw it. Steve stands right next to him, assuming the same stance (but probably thinking much more intelligent thoughts). Both of them are fixated on the ball and my release. I throw. They run. Steve almost wins. But not quite. Steve and I took turns tonight. I think Dini actually ran faster with competition. I would still pay a hundred bucks to know what the hell he thought about Steve and I taking turns fetching...right alongside him. Frankly, I think he was pissed. Whatever, we burned calories and I have no doubt gave the neighbors a good laugh. Just stop for a moment. Picture it. As Mistalyn says, you just can't make this stuff up.

We are interviewing the new kindergarten teacher for the school tomorrow. There were five applicants and I am the ONLY parent on the panel. I supposed that's normal. I guess it makes sense. Part of me feels like there should be more of us, the other part wonders what the hell I'm doing there in the first place. What do I know about education? What does matter to me the most though, is that it be truly catholic, which might ruffle some feathers. But, if it's not then what makes us any different than Daystar or The Christian Academy? The other panelists are the Principal, the secretary, the preschool teacher, and the SAC chairman. What should I wear. I supposed anything in my wardrobe would do. Just as long as I don't have a Basic Instinct moment, I'll be fine.

Oh, we painted the master bedroom today. Just a word to the wise; when the swatch in the paint aisle says "Cocoa Creme" just assume it's a hideous "Sugarplum". Unless you like that color, just put it down and look for the swatch that says, "Paper Bag". That's the one you want. I wish I were kidding.

pet peeves

I had my bible study/book club this morning. Usually, I really look forward to spending three hours with these wonderful ladies. Today, I was irritated and frustrated. Not a nice way to be when you are gathering in the name of GOD.

I was asked to take the lead and start selecting books for us to read. I did so. Everyone seemed excited and enthused last time we met when discussing our next book (that I had chosen PER THEIR REQUEST). Yeah, you guessed it. ONE other person read the book and she only got 100 pages into it.The other SEVEN said, and I quote, "I was just too busy, but it's awesome that you had time to read it". Hmmm....did I mention that I am the ONLY ONE in that group with more than two children? I let them know in the mildest way that I could that I sort of felt laughed at. It was definitely a humbling and ego deflating experience for me today. On the upside, oh wait.....there is none.

I painted the boys' room today. It looks great. I only wish I had gotten to it a YEAR ago. It will be so nice for them, especially now that Shepherd is a big boy sleeping in his crib right next to his protective big brother.

The roofers came yesterday to deliver the shingles on top of the house. They will start on Monday. Right now, we sort of look like the epitome of white trash, weighing our house down like mobile home ready to drift down the flooded street. Roofers are funny. They look like the hardest workers you have ever seen and they speak as if the cut their teeth on the F-word. They made us laugh. One guy, the boss I think, says to me, "Hey, I see you got three kids there! If I were you, I'd stop now. My wife and me, we got three kids. Holy shit. They are so lazy! I tell ya, I don't know where they get this shit. It must be from their friends. We can't get em' to do nothin'!" I'm thinking yeah, that's it.....their friends. I replied, "Well, around these parts, we're a family. That means we bust our asses...together!" Okay, I said it a little nicer than that, but you get the gist.

I do find it rather entertaining how many people complain about how lazy their children are. As if, by osmosis, they just "picked it up" somewhere, sort of like swearing and beating your cat.

Wow, this is sort of a venting post. Sorry about that for those two of you that are reading it. I think I'm tired today. Either that or just tired of peoples' shit. Probably the former, but much easier to bitch about the latter.

Sunday Six!

1. Why do people work?
Paxton: cuz them need to work cuz them have to, to build something.
Ella: a computers

2. What is your favorite toy at the moment?
Paxton: Diesel Number 10
Ella: the train track trains

3. Why are there flowers on the Earth?
Paxton: I don't know, can you tell me?
Ella: I don't want to. I was lookin for the flowers. My flowers the big one and Mom's.

4. What is your favorite movie (cartoon, story or TV Show) at the moment?
Paxton: Thomas and Bob
Ella: Oswald and the Cat in the Hat.

5. What is your favorite snack?
Paxton: Fruit.
Ella: The fruit snack. I was looking for my fruit snack. What do you have in there? (Referring to my Steve's phone in his pocket.)

6. Why do people drive cars?
Paxton: Because cars go around and around.
Ella: I do I can drive. I stay here and Ella drive too. I'm learnin' to drive.