Adorable Adoration?

This adorable photo, rather, will be the one used as the background for the invitation. Forgive me. I'm a liar. Apparently, our director wanted a cute shot of Roan that made him look....um....alive.

Sleeping Handsome.

This photo of Roan might be used for the background on the invitations for our Crossroads fundraiser dinner coming up. What do you think? 

Explanation Necessary.

I don't have a whole lot of time or energy this evening but I feel as though I just threw pictures at you without saying a word. "There!" was what was likely conveyed, right?

Not my intent. I promise. It has been such a strange and hectic past week and weekend. My mom was in the hospital with a very dangerous blood infection (she is doing SO much better now), I came down with strep throat on Thursday afternoon and finally started some antibiotics ( Thank God for those!) on Saturday and am now feeling like a rock star! Well...probably better than a rock star and a whole lot less hung-over.

The pictures were just some random photos that I have taken over the last few weeks. If it seems like there are a lot of boys in this family, well, yes, there are. And if it seems like all Roan does is sleep, well, yes, that's true too. But if it seems like that house is HUGE, well, no, not exactly. Yes, it is a good size (4300 sq ft.) but it is awfully deceiving with the two side garages. Yes, both sides are garages; one has only one door and will be more of a "shop" for Steve and the other will have two doors and will be where we park our cars. Okay, I just felt like I needed to clarify so that we didn't seem so ostentatious. I have felt so darn defensive and secretive about it. I hate that. I am going to stop that now. Right now. Really. I am. Here I go.

A very good friend of mine had her sweet baby boy today. Steve and I will be his Godparents and these good friends will be Roan's. We are having a joint baptism and have just been waiting for this little boy to finally make his debut! We are so glad he's here; Isaiah Bendedict. Just beautiful. This is a friend who, like me, and Jill , and Celeste, now has three boys and one girl. I had no idea having so many boys would make me so happy. Okay, I guess I don't really have SO many. I suppose I could have four. Or five. Or nine. I should just stop talking now.

Anyway, this good friend of mine who had this baby today? Yeah, I watched her three kids, her two boys and one girl, and my three boys and one girl. You did that math right? It was a fun, busy day with much organized chaos. I have not been this tired since I gave birth six weeks ago. I can't think of any way I would have rather spent my day though. When their dad called, we were at the park. The screams that came out of these beautiful children reacting to the news that their newest sibling had entered the world were tear jerking. And that? That was priceless.

 

Family happenings.

Oh, that I might have one hundredth the grace...

...of this beautiful woman. This article is long and well worth the read. Willing to endure the darkness and, in the end, being able to see His Light. 

Needs vs. Wants

I enjoyed a full day of Mommy/Roan time yesterday. Grandma took the three oldest for a play day and I headed off to another town an hour away to get all those pre-school clothing supplies  i.e. more uniform polos an khakis, socks for each child, new shoes and new underwear for each child. Fun times. Actually, I really enjoy those things; taking pride in the desire I have to take care of my children's needs, even those that are completely mundane in every way, just as much as Danielle.

While Roan and I were happily strolling in Target yesterday, beginning to miss the other three people who usually accompany us, I overheard this conversation in the toy section.

Nameless mommy: Rachel, Mommy said no. I am not going to buy that.

Rachel: But....I just want to have it!

Nameless mommy: Rachel? Rachel, remember what we talked about last night? About needs vs. wants and about money? Remember? Now, Rachel, what sorts of things do we need?

Rachel: Um.....money?

In Rachel's defense, I think she was a little confused. Sort of like this morning, when Paxton asked me to please read him the book about security. The really "good one". Security? We have a book about security? When did we get a book about security? Oh my gosh, if there's a book in this house that I have never seen before I darn well better find it to make sure it's okay! I was getting frustrated because I just didn't understand.  After much banter, I was finally able to interpret that he was talking about our new book. You know, the one about electricity. 

I didn't understand Paxton and he was being as clear as he possibly could. Children really are so simple, beautiful, innocent and inspiring aren't they? I wouldn't trade this life of piles of dirty laundry, poopy diapers and baths, skinned knees and spilled milk, and exhausted days' ends where I just fall into bed. I keep learning more and more. There is little glory involved in full-time motherhood. But a whole lot of redemption. Every day.

And I need that.

Potty Mouth.

My children have it sometimes. 

As we're loading Shepherd, Ella and Paxton up in the car for a day with Grandma and Grandpa:

Grandma: Okay, are we ready?

Paxton: Yeah. I have a little diarrhea. It doesn't work very well for me.

Me: Oh?

Paxton: Yeah, but that's why I turned the fan on.

Thank you, Pax. Thank you.

 

A few of my favorite things...

The windows are open. There is a cool breeze. It's overcast and probably going to rain. The children sleep. I sip coffee and say some prayers. As soon as everyone wakes up we are going on a long walk to pick up some flowers.

Today is my big brother's birthday. He would have been 30 today. Happy Birthday, Jarrod Harrison. The kids and I will be stopping by with some flowers in a few hours.

Long walks, cool breezes, birthdays, Fall and family....these are a few of my favorite things.

The Evangelizer.

That'd be my daughter.

Today I decided that it was high time for a long walk. A neighbor girl, about whom I know little more than her age and what house she lives in, was playing with Ella in our front yard. She is six years old and lives on the street behind us. She rides on her bike with her older sister and stops regularly if she sees us outside. I get the feeling that she is just craving attention and a playmate. Most of the time I'm not even sure if their mother knows where they are. Her name is Miranda.

Miranda has asked to come into our house many times but I always say, "Not until your mommy meets me". It just makes me uncomfortable to have someone else's child in my home if they don't know about it and to be quite honest, I get a little irritated as well. The poor thing just wants to play but I know that if one of my children is playing with a child I don't know, I am watching like a hawk. That makes more work for me. That makes nursing an infant and wrangling a tantruming toddler difficult and more stressful. I just don't want to do the work.

So....back to the walk. I decided that the baby was fed and changed, Shepherd was in good enough spirits and Ella and Mommy needed some girl talk. I decided we should walk. But there was this problem. Miranda was begging to go along as well instead of going home. I told her that we would walk her home and she could run into her house and ask her mom (secretly hoping her mom would peer out the window and feel comfortable to come out and meet me). She agreed and we walked to Miranda's house. She threw her bike in the front yard and ran inside. She came out within seconds. Her mom had said it was okay. Her mom was in her bedroom watching t.v. I never met her and here I was, about to take her daughter on an hour long walk. I was irritated. 

We began walking and the girls were talking, rather sweetly about bikes and who runs fastest; boys or girls. They talked about preschool and kindergarden, about who can read and who can't and about princesses. My irritation began to fade and I started to enjoy this new, sweet friendship I saw forming. But something was eating at me.... what kind of family does this girl come from? Why is her mother so absent? I always see her riding her bike without shoes. I thought I should start getting nosey. I began asking Miranda questions, benign at first but getting increasingly more personal as I went on. 

I learned these things: Miranda has two sisters, one 10 and the other 14. The 14 year old babysits a lot because their mom goes to work at 2 am in a town an hour away and she sleeps when she gets home. Her dad works in a town a half hour away and gets home at 2 am. If you hit someone hard enough to "make a mark" you could go to jail. She has her own room. Her big sister is mean. And the bigger sister is meaner. Sometime she get a time-out and other times she gets a spanking first and then a time-out.

As we were nearing the end of our walk, Miranda asked Ella if she liked the two girls that live next door to us, who Ella only talks to through the fence. Ella said, "Yeah!" Miranda replied, " Well, I don't. They don't like me, so I don't like them." My beautiful daughter turned and gently said, "But Jesus told us we should love everybody. That was what Jesus said." Miranda said, "Oh, I love Jesus!"

Here I was, being irritated with a six year old. A six year old who wanted to go on a walk with a family. A family that she could feel love from. People with whom she would be accepted. She could just be comfortable to be herself and relax. She could just be six.

I don't know what Miranda's home life is like but I do know this; I better start listening to Jesus. He placed His message for me right on my daughter's lips.

Sustenance.

I love this recipe so much I have made it twice in two days (I made a batch for a friend who just had a baby so we didn't eat them all ourselves). Imagine, delicious AND high in fiber, low in sugar, high in moisture and low in fat. Now I will concede, usually if something is good for me I will convince myself it's delicious as well even if, according to Steve, it tastes like cardboard. I swear, though, these babies are different. They really ARE delicious. Really. Try them. Hey, the kids love them too. 

I cook a lot but I don't think I have ever posted a recipe here before. I should start doing that more often. Food is just so much fun; experimenting with flavors, herbs, and spices. Wouldn't you agree?

In the first couple months after I have a baby I find myself doing a lot more baking. I don't enjoy baking nearly as much as I do cooking so I feel a bit stumped as to why I feel inclined to bake post-pardom. All I can figure is that it must be biological. Or colonial. It's much easier to feed a whole colony with baked goods than it is to feed them with a chanterelle, courgette and goat cheese sautee'.

Enjoy.

Not a pattern I'd like to maintain.

I am not digging this pattern I have set up of only blogging once every 3-7 days. Not at all. I'm going to work on that. Just as soon as my life slows down.

I have been feeling like Melissa. Just so much to say.....and then where does the time go? I never seem to make it over here to say it. I guess I've just been focused on other things and trying to catch up with things that go undone in my free time. This blog is one of them.

While my mom was here after Roan was born she asked me about blogs. She asked me why people have them. She explained that, while she LOVES reading mine (right, Mom?), she just doesn't understand why people would feel the need to write about what they made for dinner, what they grew in their garden, who they went to lunch with, or why they don't like certain child-rearing philosophies. She said that she would feel a bit arrogant or boastful to assume that someone would be that interested.

Well, maybe I am. But, and I told her this too, it's a way for me to connect. A way for others, like me, or maybe not so much like me, to share in my life, my joys, my sorrows, my fears, my faith, my family, my vocation. To share. To give advice and take it. To be supportive and for me to reciprocate. For me to connect.  So, when I feel "obligated" to blog, what's usually deeper is that I miss the connection. Even though it's online, it's a connection. Strange, I know, but valid nonetheless. Online friends and "in person" friends. They are friends. Put there by God so that we may grow and learn; so that we may give something of ourselves. Isn't that what friendship is?

When I read from so many others like me, doing what I'm doing, raising the kind of family I'm trying to raise, striving to have the kind of marriage I'm trying to have, to be the kind of wife and mother I am trying to be, I feel inspired. I feel encouraged. I feel motivated. I feel at ease about where I am and I feel connected.

When I write about my life here, I know that I am opening it up for others to offer me advice and support, to be supported,  to find the same connection I look for, and for my family and friends to catch up on my life and get a glimpse into our everyday world. I open my life up in this way because somedays it's the only way I can. 

"We need others physically, emotionally, and intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves."- C.S. Lewis

Until I can go back to "lunching" with friends once a week and having two hour long phone conversations, I'll stick to this way of obtaining connection. It's right at my fingertips. I still have prayer group meetings, dates with my husband and lunches with friends now and again. I just have a lot less of them. For now, it seems God wants me amongst diapers I can change, tears I can wipe, hands I can hold, and minds I can help mold. God wants me here, so that I can know myself. The self he wants me to be.  

Happiness is....

...waking up to your one month old smiling at you. 

It's gonna be a good day. I promise, we'll post some pictures soon-- well, as soon as the baby starts looking a little more like a baby and a little less like a turtle.

Prayers and lunch!

Women's Prayer Group is this morning. Roan and I will be heading out after I shower AND maybe even curl my hair! Then, we're off to "lunch" with a good friend! I must say, it's getting easier and easier to plan for being out and about. People really are right when they say that adding more children after your third is a "piece of cake". Relatively? It really is. God is so good to us. (Of course, it helps a teeny bit that Roan sleeps 7 hours and last night? He slept 8 hours!)

What more could a girl ask for?

A sure-fire way to get out of your own self-pity....

...is to bake some delicious blueberry scones for one equally exhausted but STILL PREGNANT friend.

Poor thing.

Five Things I Love About Jesus.

Thank you, Melissa, for the tag.  This is the best Meme yet!

The five things I love about Jesus:

1) His majesty. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I never need to worry. He is bigger than all of it. Always. Forever.

2) His gentle way. We have this beautiful print in our hallway. I think it does more for me than for our children, for whom I placed it there. Every now and then it catches my eye and I always have the same thought; I am His child, too, and He loves me. I need to stop trying to be too big for my britches. He can be the  Good Shepherd and I can just be the sheep.

3)His forgiveness. There have been times throughout my life that I have felt cut off from Christ's graces, from His forgiveness and aid. All from my own doing, my own retreat. He is always there, always waiting for me, always willing to forgive me. 

4) His candor in the Gospel. Jesus spoke clearly. He did not try to put things "delicately" to make it easier on the palate. Some things really are black and white. There is a right and a wrong. I love Jesus for that. Like Fr. Corapi says, " If you're too open minded your brains will fall out." Jesus gave us clear instructions, Commandments, for True happiness, happiness in Him.

5) That He gave us His Mother. Hanging on the cross, just before death, He said to the disciple, whom He loved (aka US), "Behold, your mother!" and to His mother, "Behold, your son!". Thank you, Jesus. She is beautiful and has never left us when we fled to her for assistance. We do NOT "worship" Mary. We adore her. We ask for her intercession. Our Father asked us to. And we worship Him.

Now, I tag Christy. Happy contemplating!

Spoiled.

Wonderful friends, indeed. 

Sweet Carrie came today to bring me some much coveted nursing tops that are actually cute. Really cute. And a nursing dress that I can wear to Mass! Thank you, Carrie!

Delicious meal #9 was brought today by another prayer group mommy who is due any day now. For dinner; baby spinach, chopped celery, carrots, tomatoes, yellow pepper, cucumber and radishes, bacon bits, sunflower seeds, salsa ranch dressing and potato rolls. For dessert? Fresh blueberries for Mommy and chocolate chip cookies for Daddy and the kidlets.

Blessed indeed.

My comeback.

Okay, so it HAS been awhile. For that, I am sorry. Truly sorry. I have had the busiest two weeks of my entire life. Whoa. Here goes....

I have learned many, many things since my family size grew, overnight, from five to six. I have learned that: big babies are better eaters, sleepers and poopers than small babies, that God does in fact know what he's doing regarding the timing of their birth. 

That three adults and four children in 700 square feet can feel a teensy bit cramped. 

That regardless of the time, who's throwing a tantrum, or who needs to eat dinner, when it's time to nurse the baby it's time to just sit down and take the next 20 minutes to nurse that baby. 

That babies don't understand that we're "busy right now". 

That it's possible to have four children crying at the same time, all for entirely different reasons. That it's possible to console each one, in the order the complaint was received of course.

That you can buy 12 different kinds of Binky's and the baby still prefers to suck on the back of the 17 month old's chubby hand.

That when you surround yourself with wonderful, faith-filled women who value family, you get about 8 HUGE meals which you can freeze and use to feed your family for WEEKS!

That most of those meals will be chicken enchilada casseroles.

That the vacuuming and the laundry and the dishes and the cooking and the baking and the sweeping and the 22 "thank you" cards and the phone call returning and the dusting and the toy cleaning up and the paper reading and email responding must all be done during that time period that people are referring to when they say, "sleep when the baby sleeps". Um, okay.

That it is totally possible to go to Walmart AND get items that you are in need of with four kids. It might not be quiet. It might not be quick. But it IS possible. And it's possible to feel a certain amount of pride when people look at you strolling along, with your 17 month old strapped in the cart, your two week old in the Bjorn on your chest and the 3 and 5 year olds with "one hand on the cart at all times". Pride in your family and pride in your children. Each one of them.

That the recounting of an entire day can be summed up in one small sentence, the very first sentence in fact, that your toddler has learned to say; "I'm sorry, Ella." And, no, he still can't say Mommy.

That even though you're back into your size 8's, they don't quite fit the same way. In fact, they're a little more snug than they were pre-pregnancy. They must have shrunk.

That hand-me-downs are beautiful gifts from GOD.

That building a new house while also welcoming a new member to your family has the potential to make a 29 year old grown man giddy like a teenager. I don't know who has been more excited, Steve or the kids.

That grandparents, like hand-me-downs, are beautiful gifts from God. Invaluable in every way. That parenting is made so much easier with their help, their supplement.

That structure and routine are not only useful, they are necessary. They make one who is sinking able to swim. They make unruly and bored children entertained and enjoyable. They make a "surviving" family able to thrive. We do not have enough of these two things right now. We are working on it. We are getting there. But we don't have enough. One more week.

That cell phones die during the most critical moments in an important conversation and 3,000 ants can somehow find and survive on a single cheerio. Even if you use ant bait. Even if you spray them. Even if you sweep 17 times a day.

That each child still needs alone time with Mom and Dad every now and then. Even if they say they don't. Even if they say that they'd rather just play with their sister or brother. That giving a child a sibling is sweeter than giving them cotton candy.

That my marriage just got stronger. My family just got bigger. My life just got busier. That although our quaint little rental just got exponentially smaller, the room in my heart just expanded. We just became richer.

So, that, my friends, is what I have been up to, what I have been learning. I thank you for your love, your generous and regular comments and prayers and your support. I thank you, sweet Grandma and Noni for your help over these last few weeks. You mean more to us than you can ever know and we can only hope to be able to fully repay you one day. 

Check.

First time making it through Mass with four children. It was a beautiful thing.

(They ALL slept! AND we had Noni here. I have a feeling the real test is to come.)

God's Grace: Our Roan.

We did it. We did it! Seriously, we did it!

Thank you so much, prayer warrior friends, family, and all those we love. As most of you will recall, my faith in this whole process was seriously faltering. I was losing all trust. I kept asking God why he was making me PROVE that I trusted him. I began to lose hope, even being willing to go into the hospital on the night of the 11th and have a little prostaglandin "nudge" to get me started. 

God is good. He is just so dang good. The morning of my birthday started out lovely, with breakfast, cake and cards. My mom got here around 11 and was such a lifting presence. When she got here, she started playing with the kids and helping out right away. My spirits were still down at the thought of being a "dud" and the fact that I might not be able to do this myself.

I knew that if I was going to go into the hospital that evening for a little nudge, I should rest. After Shepherd went down for his nap I got Curious George for the kids ( and Noni) to watch. I totally let go, relaxed and rested. Labor began.

I couldn't believe I woke up from a little cat nap in true labor. I didn't really trust it, but the contractions were stronger and varied between 3 and 7 minutes apart, slowing down only when I did. I just couldn't believe it.

I called the hospital to tell them I was in labor on my own now and we took our time, loading up, preparing, showering and I did a lot of praying. Prayers of thanks, mostly, and few requests for help and trust.

When we arrived to check in, my midwife was there waiting for me. God really blessed us with her. I cannot believe what a strong bond I felt and continue to feel with her--after having delivered three out of four of my children. They put me on monitors and she checked me. I was dilated 4 cm and was prepared that this natural labor might take longer than I thought. After being on the monitors for 20 minutes, we were free to walk and labor.

We walked, slow danced, Steve whispered in my ear, we walked. Noni walked with us, trying to stay out of the way and be supportive, but all the while I could feel her prayers on me. I could feel her presence. Steve was such an amazing "coach"--calm, gentle, strong, and faithful. He never wavered.

We went back up to be on monitors and for them to check me again. I was at an 8! They called the midwife. She was already on her way. Divine? Absolutely. Straight from God? No doubt about it. He just wanted me to trust Him. All along.

Sherry (our midwife) broke my water. We knew things were going to get intense and go fast after that. I had prepared myself for it and started saying some of my labor meditations and prayers. Things DID get more intense. They did NOT go fast though.

Pretty quickly, it became apparent to Sherry and me that something was wrong. The baby was posterior. This was going to be a little rougher than we thought. Let's just say, I owe everyone in that room earplugs. While Sherry tried to hold my cervix out of the way I tried to push. The baby just wouldn't come down. I tried to sit up, sit forward, lay back, lay on my side and rock. Sherry asked me to get up and get on all fours. At that point, I would have stood on my head if she had asked me to.

I rocked and swayed and screamed on all fours for what felt like hours and seconds all at the same time. (I've heard it was more like 30 minutes). I rolled back over and felt the baby move into position and drop from his stuck position behind my pubic bone. It was beautiful. I FELT it. It was painful and exciting and scary. I asked God why He had forsaken me. I couldn't do this anymore. I am not that strong. Within about a minute, our beautiful son was in my arms. I DID it. 

Roan Harrison made his entrance with One. Big. Push. It was amazing. It was just amazing. Christ Centered, difficult, powerful, and amazing. I would do it again in a minute. Or, a couple years. 

Grandma and Grandpa brought Paxton, Ella and Shepherd to meet their new little brother. Seeing them running down the hall toward us brought tears to my eyes. They were so excited, bringing presents, kisses and laughter. Paxton still wants to name the baby James. Ella keeps wanting to refer to him as a "her". And Shepherd likes to stick his fingers in the baby's mouth and eyes and give him kisses and "pats". 

We are a family. We are blessed. We have God's Grace with us always. We have our Roan.

Eat your hearts out!

Roan Harrison Prentice was born 7/11/07 (on Mommy's birthday) at 10:00pm. 8 lbs, 6 oz, 20.5 in long.

Much more to come later!