Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Fun flavors.

How do you know when you're pregnant?

Your peanut butter toast has the after-taste of sushi nori.


Okay....

How sad is it that the only decent picture I have of myself is of about seven months ago? Man, I hate having my picture taken!

So, do I look like a 'Nicole'? Cuz that's what I am. A 'Nicole'.

Nicknames that have been given me by various family members: "Colie", "Coleslaw", "Missy", "Slaw" and "Dano"(what Steve calls me when he's upset with me. It's my maiden name. Yeah, don't think for a second that there was ANY coach in Junior High or High School that didn't LOVE the phrase "Book em' Dano!" I'm not even old enough to be familiar with that show!)

Now, if you'll please just stick with Headstrong or HWWTMBW. It's SO much more mysterious and, frankly, I could use a little mystery.

I live in a house where 'full disclosure' is commonplace. The kind of 'full disclosure' where, at Mass, when the priest asks my daughter in front of the whole parish if she prays to God regularly she replies with, "Um, I have Dora sunglasses!" and then she runs back to the pew and loudly proclaims (about four times), "Dad, I have to go poop!" The kind of 'full disclosure' where my son sadly says to my husband, "Dad, I just wish I had a vagina like Ella" and my husband replies with, "No, Paxton, you don't. They're way too much maintenence."

My name is Nicole and this is my life.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Prepare for the outing.

So....I have inadvertently created mystery. I never really intended to. It just happened. I am an enigma. Complex and deep. Okay, not really. I just never put my name into my profile.

Anyway, it has come to my attention that only a few of you know my real name. So, I thought we'd do something fun. I'm going to let you guess. What do YOU think my name is?


Happy guessing!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Playing fair.

Since discovering three days ago that Team Prentice will be adding a new member (YAY!!!) we have had a ton of positive remarks, well wishes, and congratulations.

There are those few select people however who choose to...eh hem....rain on our procreational parade.

"What?!" "How is that even possible?!" "How many kids are you going to have?!" "How can you afford all those kids?". I am sure you're familiar enough with questions like these, so I'll spare you any more.

This makes me wonder. It makes me wonder what it is exactly that people think children 'need'. I think I have summed up a short list of general 'needs' that MANY people think children have, with whom, for the most part, I disagree wholeheartedly.

Children need: lots of toys, lots of new clothes (not those disgusting hand-me-downs), Disneyland, McDonalds, video games, plenty of time to just play and not be bothered with learning manners, helping mom and dad, or taking care of their things.

When they're older, children need: a new car, immediately after getting their license, plenty of time to just play and not be bothered with practicing good manners, helping their parents, or taking care of their things. They need video games, lots of new clothes, and their own room. They always need to have their own room and, frankly, to make a child 'share' a room is almost enough reason to call CPS. Children definitely need their entire education paid for so they don't have to be bothered--even if they want to go to medical school. Really. God forbid they have student loans, aka a beautiful reminder every day that the privilege of an education isn't free and is totally worth working for.

So, in the most loving and non-judgmental way that I can, I am going to tell you a little about our philosophy.

Having children and having money should never HAVE to go hand in hand. Period. Our children love rolling around in grass just as much as they love rolling around in the ball-pit at IKEA. Our children love helping me make homemade cookies with ingredients we already have just as much as they love special trips to Starbucks for a chocolate chunk cookie. Our children look so forward to birthdays mostly for all the singing, clapping and cake. The presents are a bonus. How many they get doesn't matter at all. Our children love listening to books on tape from the library and sitting in our laps while we read to them just as much as they love playing games on the computer and watching movies. Our boys are so adorable when they wake up together and happy, after having just slept in the SAME ROOM. Shepherd looks at Paxton through the slats of his crib and sees love. He sees his beautiful and gentle brother looking back at him from his little twin bed, just four feet away. It is precious and it's a little thing we like to call 'sharing'.

Our children love our unglamorous white mini-van with fishy crackers shoved down in the seatbelt cracks just as much as they love Noni's Mercedes, Popi's Infinity, and Grandma and Grandma's farm toys like the Toro Twister and big tractor. They don't 'need' flash. A car is a car, heated seats or not.

I posted a month or so ago about what I wanted for my children. I understand some parents' fear. I really do. They can't even imagine what they would do without all the stuff to which they have become accustomed. They are so scared about what it would do to their children if they didn't have a trampoline, a dvd player in their room, or trips to Disneyland at least once every three years. They are scared because that's what they grew up with. That's what their parents gave them. How could any child have a happy childhood with any less?

Our children need us. Our children need God. Our children need structure, time to play, time to learn, and time to grow. They need to be able to learn from their mistakes, to not take each other for granted and to stand up for those who are weaker than they. Our children need love, a mom and dad who love each other and make time for each other. Our children need parents who aren't afraid to tackle problems head-on, and who talk to them when there's a problem. Our children need sit-down, homecooked meals. Our children need to be read to, listened to, and tended to. Our children need to know that they are a part of a team. A team goes nowhere with only one player. It just can't. All players must work together and look out for each other, else the team will not succeed. We don't have to always win. Not at all. Sometimes we will, in fact, fail. But we do have to play fair.

And learning how to play fair has nothing to do with iPods, cell phones, or Abercrombie and Fitch.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I should have known.

I should have read the Magnificat this morning. I should have read Psalm 145 and the reflection before it. I should have thought to do it right after I got on my knees and thanked God for His amazing Providence, for His beautiful gift to this family, yet again.

Here is what it said:

"It's a common mistake to think that God's 'works' and 'mighty deeds' are told only in Scripture. Every person's life is God's work of art, an expression of His creative love, His goodness, His compassion. A little thought can personalize this psalm for everyone who prays it."

I will give you glory, O God my King,
I will bless your name for ever.

I will bless you day after day
and praise your name for ever.
The Lord is great, highly to be praised,
His greatness cannot be measured.

Age to age shall proclaim Your works,
shall declare Your mighty deeds,
shall speak of Your splendor and Glory,
tell the tale of Your wonderful works.

......

Let me speak the praise of the Lord,
let all mankind bless His Holy Name
for ever, for ages unending.

Glory to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.

Regarding Random Fact #3

Apparently, that IS what God wanted for us.

And he wanted it right now.

Go Team Prentice!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Ten Random Facts Meme

I was tagged by Melissa for this fun little diddy.

1) I hate fruit on meat. Any fruit. Any meat. They are NEVER meant to go together.

2)I NEVER do it, but I know how to crochet.

3)I want a lot more children. I hope that's what God wants for me too.

4)Before choosing Psychology, I was a Pre-Med major. WAY too much schooling and chemistry and math. Imagine that.

5)Steve and I use a secret hand code when we are at a function and we want the other to know that we are ready to leave.

6)I am painfully uncomfortable with unresolved confict. It affects my sleep, my appetite, and my attention span.

7)I never took the SAT's. (I took the ACT)

8) I can't rollerblade, iceskate, or slalom ski. Are you noticing a pattern?

9) I can't sleep on my stomach. I can't sleep on my back. I can't sleep on my left side. I use three pillows when I sleep. And I drool.

10) If I wear color, I feel like an Easter Egg.

Friday, October 20, 2006

"Oh, okay."

Ella: (whimpering and rubbing her elbow)

Me: Oh, honey, what happened?

Ella: **Sob** I just fell!

Me: What happened?

Ella: I was just looking down at my feet, because they are beautiful, and then I fell!

Me: Oh, (trying to hold in laughter) okay, are you okay now?

Ella: *sniff, sniff* Yeah.


Instilling humility. One day at a time.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Slow on the uptake.

Steve just gave me a lesson on 'linking'. It was good. Well, he was good. I was a little slow on the uptake. So...here's my first attempt.

Check out this kickin' pumpkin carving (which was also on Danielle Bean's blog). This one is my favorite!

Woohoo! It worked. Yay me!

(Apparently, having a spouse who is a software engineer doesn't necessarily guarantee YOU any more intelligence or aptitude.)

Predilections.

Paxton: Hey guys, I'm getting hungry (right before bed).

Me: Hmmm.

Paxton: Hmmm, what should I eat that won't give me cavities? *gasps* I know! Applesauce! Will that give me cavities?

Me: Well, that kind has sugar in it. How about carrots?

Paxton: Okay!!

Again, I am loving having a child that equates fruit with candy and vegetables with cheese. Yesterday he ate an entire raw green pepper while sitting on the counter, watching me stuff and cook some.

God is good.

Now on to Princess Ella, who prefers we put tabasco on things.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Long overdue.

I know, I know. It really seems as though I have dropped off the face of the planet, doesn't it? Well, I haven't. Not yet anyway. I have a few more things to delegate before I'm comfortable just doing crazy, unpredictable things like that.

Delegate. That's right. That is what I have learned to do over these last few weeks. Really. I have.

I was SO sick last week and I think something broke. I think that part of my brain that has always said 'you can do it', 'suck it up', 'get over it', 'offer it up' and the like, broke. That part that forces me to commit to doing things I have no business in my right mind committing to. It actually affects my inhibition. It must be somewhere near my hypothalamus.

Since my life threatening illness (overdramatization) of last week, things have changed. Yes, I am still a mother. I am still a wife. I am still a volunteer crisis pregnancy counselor, school board member, auction decoration chairwoman, and RCIA sponsor. I am still all of these things. But, I am now wearing a new hat.

My hat looks something like this; small enough that my view of the world is unobstructed. I can see things and people more clearly now, and I can see that my expectations of them and who they actually are might not always match up. And? And that's okay. My new hat is big enough to shade me from the harsh, blistering heat and fierce wind that threatens to throw me and the rest of "Team Prentice" off course.

So, what the hell does all that really mean? It just means that I can say "no" with a little more ease than I could before. I can't quite just say, "no", without having to do a little "padding" though. I haven't perfected that yet. Give me time. I'll get there. I can feel the calluses starting to form already. You know what I should pray for? That God will help me WANT to want to say 'no'. Right? Cuz I don't. Want to, that is. It's just getting to the point where my options are running out. There are only so many of me. And my children and husband aren't getting any younger. I can't imagine looking back at my life and thinking, "Man, I just wish I had volunteered more and worked more while the kids were little. We just spent way too much time together".

Now that the said life threating illness didn't take me out, I can focus my energy on helping the rest of my family muddle their way through it. So far, just Ella and Shepherd have had the respiratory and gagging problems. Looks like Steve and Paxton are next! Fun times, fun times.

Noni has been here for a couple days, as well. She went with me to the school to work on auction stuff last night and this afternoon she'll be helping the kids to carve pumpkins (that came from Grandma and Grandpa's garden!). I love that my children love their Grandparents like I loved mine. I love that I have allies in all of them, that they will back us up as parents but that they'll spin it in a way that convinces our children that the rules and regulations which are imposed on them "rock". I love that when Noni comes, slumber parties, cake eating, dressing up, reading and telling stories, and lots of singing and dancing are in order.

Noni is a little more lenient (okay A LOT more) with my children than I'd prefer at times. Though, so are Grammy, and Popi, and Grandma and Grandpa, and Grandma Great, and even Papa Joe at times. At the end of the day though, I know that they all know why we do what we do and say what we say to our children. I also know that it's an illness. It's a grandparent malady. A part of their brains are permanently destroyed. I am pretty sure it's close to the part of the brain that I was talking about earlier. This part of their brains, though, regulates the ability to say "no" specifically to grandchildren, to make their grandchildren eat sensibly, and to care about whether they look silly or not or have clean teeth. Those things being virtually immaterial to them. It's an illness. Do your parents have it? We should really think about setting up some sort of charity fund for them.

I digress. So, things are much better around here and my head is no longer in danger of spinning off of my neck. Life is good. My priorities are more in check. The auction is on the 4th of November, which also happens to be my mother's birthday, the day after my dad's girlfriend's birthday, and one of my best friend's birthday. Once those important things are over, I think I will breathe even easier. Either that or I'll just start obsessing about two of my childrens' birthdays in December, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

Okay, well, I might need a little more intervention than a week long sickness.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sunday mornings...

I am finally feeling better. So much so, in fact, that I am baking scones on this beautiful Sunday morning. It feels so good to feel good again. Now I am fully armed to deal with the illness that is slowly but surely coursing through the veins of every other family member.

Another thing of beauty? Paxton got up and, first thing, put on his dress shirt and slacks saying, "I'm just going to look handsome for Jesus' house".

Just beautiful.

More later...

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Day 4.

Yeah, that'd be me. Still sick.

On the upside, I'm no longer blowing brain matter out of my nostrils. Yay.

Stay tuned....

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Monday, October 09, 2006

God's way...

of telling you to slow down a bit? To take it down a notch? Waking up with a head so congested it feels like it will explode at any moment.

Sick days and reading 'Cinderella' to my Princess Ella, in bed, all day long....or until I have to leave for more auction decorating tonight for three hours.

What an overcommitted, wicked web we weave.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Great minds think alike.

Talking to my mom this morning, who is, along with Steve's mom, busy working on a project to donate to the school for the auction:

Me: Mom, how's the charcoal drawing going?

Mom: Well, I'm having a hard time getting started. I just sort of keep circling the table, and making excuses to run back and forth to the art supply store. I just can't seem to get moving with it.

Me: Oh, mom, that's so sweet.

Mom: Yeah, 'sweet' in a retarded sort of way.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Two people and achy feet.

Today went well. I say 'well' with a bit of apprehension. I am tired. My feet hurt. I have been hungry and tired for about five hours now. I smell like asphalt.

I walked outside our local Family Planning for a total of about 7 hours today. Just paced. Back and forth, praying and talking.

Steve came and went, our director came and went, my dad came and went, and one more volunteer came and went. I only had to be alone for about 2 hours. It was a long two hours with Ella and Shepherd, but some of the most humbling two hours of my life. God and I had a good talk.

I will blog more about it later, after I've had time to process it and rest a bit.

On a really positive note, two people came over to talk to us, one a staff member and the other a passer-by. We reached two people today. How many do you think they'll reach?

Sunday, October 01, 2006

The good life.....with a donkey and a refridgerator.

We are starting to plan for building again!

Steve has been busily making changes to our original design (of over a year ago) and I must say that I am starting to get really excited again. It really feels right this time and I ...eh hem.....have had to have a little attitude adjustment. Before, when we were planning the house, I got sort of OCD. I know, I know, hard to believe. Me? Obsessed or compulsive about something? It's so far off base it's hard to even imagine. Just try.

So, now that I decided to take a more Marian approach, things are going MUCH better. I am finding changes here and there to be fine, even, dare I say, great. I'm open to them all--well, I did have to veto someone's suggestion of having TWO refrigerators in the kitchen. That, quite honestly, seemed a bit excessive. I could see a mini fridge for all of our Schmidt, but to have a whole other full size refrigerator? Come on, now.

So...on with the house plans, and the three months that it take to get a permit to build in this county, and we'll be rockin'! Life is so good, so busy and so blessed. We really are truly blessed. It's really not fair. I don't think we have done anything to deserve all of the gifts God has given us. In fact, I can think of a few things I have done in my lifetime that make a good case for God to smite me.

So, in aspiring to take a more Marian approach in my life, I am leading the group (hopefully) of people who will be outside our local Family Planning clinic tomorrow. The American Life League and many bishops throughout the country have pushed for the first Monday in October to become the official Pro-Life Memorial Day, where we gather in silence to remember those lost to abortion and those mothers suffering the effects of abortion. Not a day to picket, or to be a loud presence at all. Just a day to wear red and gather outside these clinics. I sent out an email to about 30 people. I am a realist. I am fully aware that we'll be lucky if we get 10 people out there in total. But, we will trudge on--we'll trudge on for the 47,000,000 children we will never have the pleasure to know.

I'm not in the clouds. I know this is a really, really, really tough subject. It's tough to get people to even talk about, let alone stand outside a clinic. I truly don't expect everyone to feel excited about it or even just okay with it. My own husband seems really nervous. He has never done anything like this before and, frankly, I have only done it twice myself. But, I know that we can't grow toward God as long as everything always feels good and comfortable. We just can't. That's a relationship with God of our making, not of His. He wants us to stretch high, reach for Him. Reach higher than we think our arms can stretch. He'll meet us the rest of the way, easing the load somewhat, but we just can't ever stop reaching.

So, I am going to go now, get on the donkey that Joseph, I mean Steve, wants me to ride and prepare for an amazing life.

....a humble life, with only one refridgerator in the kitchen.