Long overdue.

I know, I know. It really seems as though I have dropped off the face of the planet, doesn't it? Well, I haven't. Not yet anyway. I have a few more things to delegate before I'm comfortable just doing crazy, unpredictable things like that.

Delegate. That's right. That is what I have learned to do over these last few weeks. Really. I have.

I was SO sick last week and I think something broke. I think that part of my brain that has always said 'you can do it', 'suck it up', 'get over it', 'offer it up' and the like, broke. That part that forces me to commit to doing things I have no business in my right mind committing to. It actually affects my inhibition. It must be somewhere near my hypothalamus.

Since my life threatening illness (overdramatization) of last week, things have changed. Yes, I am still a mother. I am still a wife. I am still a volunteer crisis pregnancy counselor, school board member, auction decoration chairwoman, and RCIA sponsor. I am still all of these things. But, I am now wearing a new hat.

My hat looks something like this; small enough that my view of the world is unobstructed. I can see things and people more clearly now, and I can see that my expectations of them and who they actually are might not always match up. And? And that's okay. My new hat is big enough to shade me from the harsh, blistering heat and fierce wind that threatens to throw me and the rest of "Team Prentice" off course.

So, what the hell does all that really mean? It just means that I can say "no" with a little more ease than I could before. I can't quite just say, "no", without having to do a little "padding" though. I haven't perfected that yet. Give me time. I'll get there. I can feel the calluses starting to form already. You know what I should pray for? That God will help me WANT to want to say 'no'. Right? Cuz I don't. Want to, that is. It's just getting to the point where my options are running out. There are only so many of me. And my children and husband aren't getting any younger. I can't imagine looking back at my life and thinking, "Man, I just wish I had volunteered more and worked more while the kids were little. We just spent way too much time together".

Now that the said life threating illness didn't take me out, I can focus my energy on helping the rest of my family muddle their way through it. So far, just Ella and Shepherd have had the respiratory and gagging problems. Looks like Steve and Paxton are next! Fun times, fun times.

Noni has been here for a couple days, as well. She went with me to the school to work on auction stuff last night and this afternoon she'll be helping the kids to carve pumpkins (that came from Grandma and Grandpa's garden!). I love that my children love their Grandparents like I loved mine. I love that I have allies in all of them, that they will back us up as parents but that they'll spin it in a way that convinces our children that the rules and regulations which are imposed on them "rock". I love that when Noni comes, slumber parties, cake eating, dressing up, reading and telling stories, and lots of singing and dancing are in order.

Noni is a little more lenient (okay A LOT more) with my children than I'd prefer at times. Though, so are Grammy, and Popi, and Grandma and Grandpa, and Grandma Great, and even Papa Joe at times. At the end of the day though, I know that they all know why we do what we do and say what we say to our children. I also know that it's an illness. It's a grandparent malady. A part of their brains are permanently destroyed. I am pretty sure it's close to the part of the brain that I was talking about earlier. This part of their brains, though, regulates the ability to say "no" specifically to grandchildren, to make their grandchildren eat sensibly, and to care about whether they look silly or not or have clean teeth. Those things being virtually immaterial to them. It's an illness. Do your parents have it? We should really think about setting up some sort of charity fund for them.

I digress. So, things are much better around here and my head is no longer in danger of spinning off of my neck. Life is good. My priorities are more in check. The auction is on the 4th of November, which also happens to be my mother's birthday, the day after my dad's girlfriend's birthday, and one of my best friend's birthday. Once those important things are over, I think I will breathe even easier. Either that or I'll just start obsessing about two of my childrens' birthdays in December, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

Okay, well, I might need a little more intervention than a week long sickness.