Also noteworthy.

The bad news? I have mastitis.

The good news? I have had it before and know what to do about it (and also happen to have a beautiful friend who has the power to 'call in antibiotics'!)

The best news of all?

My big boy, my five, almost six year old son, lost his first tooth today! And loved it!

Worth it.

We've been ill. All of us staggered over the last few weeks. But this little package of deliciousness? He makes it totally worth it.

Serious question.

Does it really work to put Vicks on the bottoms of your feet to suppress coughing at night?

Tell it to me straight. I can take it. If it works, I'm totally doing it.

Out with the old, in with the new.

The old would be all the contractors that have been in my house since we moved in. We're done with them. Yes, I said it. We're done. Until Spring.

We had a huge party over the weekend to say "thank you" to all those who helped us and to open our home to all those friends that have seen us through. There were over 30 people here, playing board games, poker, cards, wandering through the house and eating and drinking lots of deliciousness. We thank them.

The "new" would be the illness that seems to be ravaging my family right now. My posts have been infrequent, at best, and I vowed that this week would see a turnaround. Not quite so. God seems to have some plans of his own.

This illness? It involves, laryngitis, eye goop, deep chest coughing, nasal congestion, and a general feeling of exhaustion. I saw a mirage yesterday. I thought it was just me and I thought I was on the upswing of it. This morning, however, I see that I am not alone. We will trudge on and this week will be one of rest and recuperation. I will lounge and snuggle babies and read to them often. Because there are no contractors here, and because I don't have any other appointments than working out in the early morning and because my children need me and because... 

I can.

God is good.

 

This just in:

My baby likes binkies. Since when?! I don't know, but it's amazing to watch. He also has two teeth, crawls and tries to pull himself up. I wasn't prepared for it but it seems to be happening right before my eyes. He's growing up. Quite blatantly.

Since this is a Lenten Friday, we are headed up to the school gym tonight for family Stations of the Cross and a simple soup supper afterward. I have never looked so forward to simplicity in all my life. I worked out (with weights and everything!) at the gym yesterday and it hurt to walk down the stairs this morning. I am thinking simple is good. Very good, tonight.

Also, after reading Danielle's suggestion, we made a crown of thorns for our own dining room table. It was very cool to do with the kids and quite the teachable moment as we rolled out three long strands (representing the Holy Trinity), braided them, and placed toothpicks in the completed ring. It looks as authentic as dough and salt can and, as hypothesized, Ella is all over the good deeds. The boys are into it too but not quite like their sister. "Mom? Can I put that cup in the dishwasher for you? Mom? Can I clean the toys up for the baby? Mom? Can I unwrap that piece of gum for you?" 

Yeah, that's my girl. All about the rewards.

 

I have the Liturgy of the Hours, I have my Regnum Christi reflections for the day, I have my children to teach in the mornings, I have Stations of the Cross, I have a serious hunger for all things sweet. I am well on my way to mortification. 

Shrove Tuesday.

We just returned from a feast of pancakes, ham, eggs, juice and coffee with cream. It was good. We were made ready.

Lord, give us grace to inaugurate with holy fasting the defenses of Christian warfare, so that we who are to fight against spiritual wickedness may be helped and strengthened by self-denial.

Amen.

A Blessed and spiritually fruitful Lent to you all and thank you for you love, gentle words, prayers and support. Today was a good day.

Depression is a funny thing.

Sometimes it can take the form of a sleepless woman, lying awake thinking about her failures or weaknesses. Sometimes it can take the shape of a new mom, drowning in despair or feelings of being lost. Sometimes it strikes teens who, thrown into a world quite too big for them, begin to feel as if nothing they do is right, the person that God made them to be isn't good enough. No matter what it looks like, there is a way out. Sometimes it's a long way off, other times it is just a few encouraging phone calls, a couple blog entries, or a couple prayer group meetings away. I am thanking God that I happen to be one for whom the latter seems to be working. 

A few beautiful blogging friends have shared about feelings of being in limbo, disorganized or like their lives are just feeling dim these days. They haven't wanted to share that. They have been biding their time until the cloud passes. I have been waiting, too. I've been waiting to feel 'like myself' again before I blog. Well, I can't wait any longer. It felt so good to have a prayer group meeting this morning, welcome a new mom who is pregnant with her fifth and have a mini baby shower for  another mommy (who happens also to be Paxton's Kindgarten teacher). It felt good to have people in my home, the work-in-progress that it is. To be okay with the fact that things are undone and I can give it up amongst these women who see me clearly. They see my faith. They see my feelings of being overwhelmed. They see my fear of not being good enough. They see me struggle with being open to life and at the same time worrying that the fact that, for right now, I am just tired of being pregnant or nursing, means that I am not open to life. Is that what it means? I hope not. I pray not. I pray.

We have been inundated with contractors coming and going , children (other peoples') coming and going, Catholic Schools Week and all the insanity that comes with celebrations and activities at the school every day, and sick children for what has been almost three weeks now. I am tired. My husband is tired. As my mom says, exhaustion colors the way you see everything. Yesterday was the first day in a week that I hadn't cried at some point in the day. Steve's mom came over and did our laundry. All day. She snuggled babies, folded clothes and sacrificed her day to help me. I didn't cry yesterday. I wanted to sing. I loved having the help and at the same felt guilty for taking it and shhhh....enjoying it. A lot.

How do we practice mortification and prioritize the 5 p's at the same time? 1)How do we glorify God, 2)offer up our sacrifices with a smile on our faces, 3) put others first, 4) do the work to obtain graces so that we can keep doing the work, and at the same time take care of ourselves and ask for what we need so that we can keep doing numbers 1 through 4?

Depression, for me, does not take on the form of lying in bed all day, not getting things done or sleeplessness (although that happens naturally when you have sick children, of course). For me, it looks like feeling overwhelmed, feelings of self-loathe or not being good enough, begging God to just disclose to me what he wants from me. In the silence of my own mind, of course. Because to share it? That's weakness, that's whining. Nobody wants to hear me whine.

That's junk. 

I am sharing, dang it. I am sharing it because I know that every single person who reads this blog knows me--be it virtually relating or physically seeing one another regularly. You know me. You know I am happy. I strive to follow commandments. I share what I have with others. I try to put others first. I give. I am grateful for my many, many blessings. I have a deep, abiding faith that God will always take care of me, never abandon me, and that He offered Himself fully so that I might have life. A dang good one at that. 

I also happen to be a little down. Depressed. There. I said it. Relatively, it's a tiny cloud. Nonetheless, it's a cloud.  A cloud I am not used to or comfortable with. A cloud that will go away, little by little, if I ask God to help me see through it. If I share with those of you who know and love me. It makes no sense. It rarely does, I know. So...this too shall pass. Until it does? I'll just be here, praying and keeping my side of the street clean.

Pray for me. Love me. Advise me. 

And know that I am grateful. Eternally grateful that I have this safe place to ask for some prayers from women who trust God like I do and who know what it is to feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. Or like there are too many.

That which doesn't kill you.

Ella: Mom, can I go get my ponies out of the van?

Me: Dad took Pax to school so it's not here right now. Are you sure they're in the van?

Ella: Absolutely.

I haven't had time for much else than nursing sick children, literally nursing the baby, and random tidying here and there. We have had more contractors in the house over the last three days, an appraiser here this morning, kids with high fevers and croup and preparing to have one of Paxton's schoolmates with us for 9 days while his parents are in Hawaii. I wish I were in Hawaii. Who am I kidding? I'd just love a 15-20 minute shower.

Things are looking much better around here, both in the illness department and in the finish work department. Pictures will come soon. If it kills me.

Like a brownie?

Me: Ella, honey, you have a fever. Do you feel cold?

Ella: A little. Just on the edges though, not in the inside.

Ah.

Nothing more to say.

This is worth every second it will take to watch it.

It was so good and made me laugh so hard.

Little things come from little prayers.

This morning I had a feeling it was going to be a long day. Steve was on his way out the door for the day, two out of three kids are sick and one is teething. I got to 'sleep in' until 6:30ish so at least I had that working for me. I had two cups of coffee and began some prayers.  All I could muster this morning with malady that surrounded me was this; 

Lord, please help me to see the little things today. Help me to feel little rewards and to help me know what to do next. I do this for You. Open my lips.

Conversations that have taken place so far in the day:

Me: Ella, will you please run upstairs and grab me the diaper cream? Baby Roan has a bad rash from teething.

Ella: Sure, but.....  I don't know what it looks like.

Paxton: (from the corner of the room bundled up with blankets with a weak, hoarse, pitiful sounding voice) Ella, it's the white one with the teddy bear on it.

Later...

Ella: Now that the baby is asleep, let's have a conversation.

Me: Okay, honey, what do you want to have a conversation about?

Ella: I don't know. You decide.

Just a moment ago...

Paxton: Mom? Can I have some ice cream since I'm sick?

Me: Paxton, you haven't had much to eat all day, honey, and I want you to have something nutritious before you have ice cream.

Paxton: How about a vitamin? 

Me: How about after Shepherd goes to bed tonight?

Paxton: Okay. That's good. I like pajama days.

Thank you, Lord. For the little things.

 

Barking, hacking and fevers....Oh my!

Croup. It's a stinker.

Looks like while Daddy is at the Called and Gifted Workshop all day today, we'll be lounging with our blankets and nebulizers. 

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything? You'll have to wait.

Day two.

This is the second morning that Steve and I have gotten up at 5:00 and 5:30am, respectively. He brings me the baby to nurse, and hops in the shower. I finish feeding the baby and get in the shower at 5:30. We rise, we shower, we pray and read the news, we sip coffee. We talk. And it's awesome.

I will be praying for help to make it last. I know that these things to help us stay focused are always the first things to go in times of chaos. What I need to pray about is that God help me to make it a priority and the He remind me of the peaceful feelings that infiltrate my entire day after I begin it with prayer.

When I was pregnant, I was getting up at 5:30, going to Curves to work out before anyone was awake, coming home and making breakfast. I loved it. It felt so good and it was the right time of day for me to take care of myself without having to disrupt anyone else's schedule. Now, with a nursing baby...well, let's just say the idea of bouncing that early in the morning just seems painful, if you know what I mean. My one year membership was up in November and I had the option to renew. I didn't. That is fine but it leaves me with needing to figure out what I will do now to get some exercise. We have a great treadmill. I think it's time she and I get reaquainted in the evenings, after the kids are in bed. That just seems like a much less painful time to bounce.

My mom has heard me whine many times that I just wish I had time to pray, like priests and nuns. Did she just listen in vain? No! She bought me the complete set of The Liturgy of The Hours. Whoa. I have been doing it in the mornings...most afternoons and occasionally I remember in the evenings. It is beautiful, structured, and...intense. If this doesn't help me to grow, nothing will!

So...for the new year, back in with the family rosary (which fell to the wayside when the intensity of homebuilding picked up), back in with early morning rising (which fell to the wayside promptly after giving birth), and back in with exercise (which fell to the wayside after ....engorgement.)

Happy New Year to you and here's hoping that any and all changes you are making in your lives are coming with more ease than difficulty!

Pictures to share.

I actually converted this photo to black and white. I cannot seem to find it in iPhoto anywhere! If Ella could wear a fake flower in her hair every day of her life she'd be in seventh Heaven. I am just way too boring. The other day, Grandma stopped by to give Ella a book; "Fancy Nancy". Ella has probably read it 35 times already. 'Nancy' epitomizes Ella in every way.

My adorable toothless wonder. Shepherd is a walking accident. Steve and I catch ourselves holding or our breath and gasping way too often when we're playing with him. That boy's guardian angel must be getting overtime.
Roan is beautiful. He is actually bigger than this now. The other day, I thought to myself, 'I wonder if he can sit up yet.' I walked over, sat him up, and he stayed there and played for quite a long time. Who knew?! Ah...the beauty of the fourth. His eyes are totally captivating and he belly laughs regularly.

Here is my sweet Pax. I cannot believe I gave birth to this wonder nearly 6 years ago! It seems like just yesterday. Although he goes to a Catholic school all day, he still gets giddy with excitement about going to CCD on Wednesday nights. He loves airplanes and trains and electricity and weather occurances...mostly things I don't understand. But his Daddy happens to find those things VERY cool. It's a beautiful relationship.
Shepherd in our new breafast nook. Where we actually eat sitting in chairs again! In the rental, we sat "cris cross" around a coffee table for dinner every night. No joke. There was no room for even a dining table.
This is the view from the front door. Obviously the Christmas tree and the poinsettias are gone, but you get the idea. 

The time has come.

Okay, friends, I'm back. Sort of.

I have missed you all SO MUCH lately. Has it really been that long? It sure has. My how time flies when you are unpacking and setting up shop.

We did, in fact, move in right before Christmas. Shhh....our final inspection is tomorrow. Do you think he'll notice the master deck with no railing? Or the jimmy-rigged staircases leading into both garages? Nah. I'll make him brownies and offer some coffee.

 

(Don't worry. Steve temporarily took care of all the items that need to be signed off on.  :))

There are many things that are unfinished but many, many more that are. I am happy to say that we are finally to a point where I can relax a bit in the evenings. Until now, as soon as I get all four kids down for the night it's back to work for Mommy and Daddy. I actually went to the movie theater the other night and saw a movie! Can you believe it? I put on, like, real clothes and everything. My friends around here keep asking me if I am going to reemerge any time soon. You know, the real me. Not the I'll-talk-to-you-for-20-minutes-but-then-I-have-to-go-because-I-only-have-so-much-naptime-within-which-I-can-be-productive me.

Six of us going from living in essentially 700-800 usable square feet to well over 4,000 has been such a beautiful blessing. The first couple days we were here, while I was tidying this, cleaning that, or unpacking these, I could hear the kids. Playing. Running. Laughing. Rolling around on the floor in their rooms. They were giggling again. It was the most beautiful sound I had heard in nine months. I couldn't stop them. Not yet. It was Christmastime and it was beautiful. I was tired. Exhausted, really. As was Steve. But our kids? They still haven't stopped playing. We actually have a family room now! Where we can all sit together (on the floor because we don't have enough furniture yet!), snuggle up, and watch a movie. 

I didn't realize it until recently but we really did sort of put our lives on hold a bit while we were in the rental. I made it as much like home as I could but it never really felt like my home. I don't feel like my heart every really rested there. Does that make sense? Everyone that came to see us in the rental agreed. For 700 square feet the layout could have been MUCH better. We lived in Steve's parents garage for about six months when we were going to build about three years ago. It was 400 square feet. It felt like a mansion compared to that rental!

Did you know that if you wait to put up a real tree until Christmas eve, and then you go to a lot to pick one up, usually they are on their way to the dump? With the little, crummy, sad looking trees and with the huge, insanely overpriced and gorgeous, intoxicatingly scented Noble Firs? Yeah, we got two of those babies. For 20 bucks. Steve went out to get us a tree and came home with two nine-foot Noble Firs. The nice man told him he could have them for free but Steve felt too bad taking such beauts without some kind of payment. We promptly stopped unpacking and cleaning, put on some Christmas music, lit a fire, and decorated the trees. The kids had a ball and so did we. It finally felt like Christmas ( I hadn't even decorated the rental, knowing we were moving). We decorated the house, made baked brie and crackers, and drank cider and champagne. Merry Christmas Team Prentice!

After Christmas Mass in the morning, Grandma and Grandpa came over and we had a lovely time together, opened gifts and had a great dinner (cooked mostly by Steve's mom since I was not adequately prepared to host much just yet!). My mom and Stepdad came a few days later and we had another Christmas celebration! It was so wonderful to finally be able to have other people spend the night in my home again! To have a place for guests is just. so. us.

I haven't taken many pictures of the house just yet. I am sort of waiting until things look...well...I won't mince words here, perfect. Yes, that's right. You read it. I want them to look perfect. What was that you said? I couldn't hear you over my delusional brain noise. Who am I kidding? I'll start taking some pictures. Soon. Just as soon as we finish the kitchen cabinets this coming Tuesday. And after we get our dining room table. And after those dummy knobs are on. And after we have a shower head in our master shower.

Last night was a long night, as I fear this one might be. I have one baby cutting his first teeth and another, bigger baby, cutting his two year molars. Steve and I took turns comforting the respective babies for much of the very early morning hours. The ones that are too late to be called 'midnight' but too early to be called 'morning'. Those hours are buggers. So are bulging, irritated, red gums apparently. Poor babies.

School started back up on the 3rd of January and we have since been trying our darndest to got back into a good routine, a routine that works for everyone. I am finding that there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. I must go back to getting up at 5:30. I know it seems silly but, for me, it seems to make a difference. I start my day off right. I meet the day instead of the day meeting me. I can shower, sip coffee, nurse the baby, pray and prepare breakfast all before I hear any pitter patter whatsoever. I have mentioned it to Steve a couple times now but the reception is luke warm. Let's just say my beautiful husband isn't exactly a 'morning person'. Was that delicate enough, Honey? ('morning person' is code for one who is able to think AND move at the SAME time before 8 or 9am)

So, the time has come for me to stop waiting for the house to be perfect and to start back into a routine, carving out prayer time, Mommy exercise time, family time, phone call return time, and meal prep time. I am good on the family time and the meal prep time. The rest? It's a struggle every day. Some sweet friends of mine have mentioned reading again  Holly Pierlot's "A Mother's Rule of Life". Once I get to the boxes marked "books" in the garage I am going to get right on that.

I have missed so many of you. Have I said that yet? I will post the pictures that I just ordered from Kodak to go on our wall in our living room and hopefully you'll feel like you're sitting here, next to the fire sipping coffee right along with us.

*end note*-I tried to post some pics but blogger wouldn't let me. Ornery blogger.