The stuff of life

Here are just a few things that happened today;

Paxton cried because he just wanted to go on a fishing trip with big daddies. Then he got over it because he realized that he was going to go on a big airplane in just two days with mom and Shepherd AND there was going to be a pool at the hotel. Score!

Ella kissed me and hugged me and told me that I was her favorite girl and that I was also her best friend. You want to cry right now, don't you? I did.

Paxton and Ella played catch in the family room as baby Shepherd looked on. Then? Then he LAUGHED--he BELLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD at them playing catch. It was the sweetest thing. ( Did I mention that he can sit up now?)

All in all, I can say this has been a 5 star day. My husband left this morning for 7 days and I am going to miss him terribly. We even had a "first" together. Last night, we decided that we should have a date or something like it before we parted ways for a week. So...get this, I went to a bar for the first time. Seriously. My first time in a bar. I have been to plenty of restaurant/bars and had cocktails in lounges. But I have never been to an actual "belly up to" kind of bar. Um, I haven't been missing much. We did laugh a lot which was so much fun. Sometimes I forget just how funny Steve is.

I am so blessed. A six month old who spontaneously laughs out loud, A two and half year old who, on average, is sweeter more than she isn't now, and a four year old who wears his big ol' heart right on his sleeve. Oh, yeah, and a husband who makes me laugh too! God is so good to this family. This is the stuff of life.

I just started reading Danielle Bean's blog and she is awesome. Pregnant with her 8th. Much food for thought today.

A full bowl.

Oh, Grandparents. Grandparents are so important, aren't they? They're important when we're small children because they either supplement our parents leadership and discipline or they just spoil us rotten. Sometimes both.

I have found this strange occurrence as of late that my Grandparents, and large part of the rest of my family too, have failed to grasp the fact that I neither want nor need them to discipline me or spoil me. I am grown now and have children of my own that need supplemental spoiling and disciplining. It is so strange. This thing about growing up. I am almost 27 years old now and I feel like I am still trying to explain to most of my family members (excluding my immediate family obviously) that I am a "Big Girl" now, leading my own little family with my husband, paying my own bills, having my own house to clean and take care of, and my own children's needs to put before my own. I raise children, volunteer, and take care of our home. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to (as my mother likes to say) pull up my big girl panties and get over it. End of diatribe.

I feel like I am stuck in that whole rock and hard place cliche' right now. I prayed for God to bring more support to us, more Godly families to encircle our family, more strength and a stronger desire for us to lead our children in faith. Now, I find that we are SO BUSY doing thing and being invited to go places with these wonderful Godly people that I am getting tired! Knock and it shall be opened unto you! Our social calendar is already full most of the week and, for the rest of the summer, is mostly full on the weekends too. When am I supposed to praise God and say 'Thank you', and when am I supposed to say, 'enough'? God put these children into our lives for a reason, didn't he? Aren't we supposed to be good stewards of our time and money? I'll just keep truckin'. Er....praying, I mean.

I picked cherries from our two cherry trees yesterday. I filled FOUR boxes and there are still a ton of cherries on the trees. We felt like Santa Claus today, dropping bags of cherries off on doorsteps across two towns. It makes me smile just thinking about it. I was high in the ladder yesterday and found myself saying prayers of thanks many times. I just kept thinking about how blessed we are that we have this beautiful and fresh fruit right out our back door. Just some trees planted. To nourish. To provide. If time were tough for us right now, we could just walk out our back door and have cherries for dinner. Our bowls are certainly half full, never half empty.

Incidentally, I only fell off the ladder once yesterday. I looked around quickly, darting my eyes left to right. It's okay. Nobody saw me. Tip for the day: cherry tree limbs cannot hold a 140+ pound, arm-flailing woman. Do not attempt to try.

Literary tidbits

Another fabulous excerpt:

" Patience is faith in action. Patience is emotional diligence. It's the willingness to suffer inside so that others can grow. It reveals love. It gives birth to understanding. Even as we become aware of our suffering in love, we learn about ourselves and our own weakness and motives.

So, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, "We must never, never, NEVER give up!" No matter how far we feel we have gotten off track, we can always take steps to correct the course. Our children are bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh. We will and must reclaim them, always. As a friend of mine likes to title her blog, " The journey" is what matters, not just the destination. Contrary to popular myth, the destination DOES matter too. Whoever we are, we are a part of some family. And family love is in a league of it's own.

Thank you once again, Stephen R. Covey.

I am really digging this book, obviously. We had a rather longish day today. I had an all-day training session at Crossroads regarding abstinence training and counseling. Grammy Vivian took the the kids to the aquatic center for almost six hours! And, of course, no trip to the aquatic center is complete without floaties, barbie life jackets, your favorite colored (orange and pink) beach towel, sugary slurpies and hotdogs. Oh, and maybe a teensy bit of sunscreen thrown on for good measure. They were SO excited and had such a good time. Steve and I have GOT to start getting into swimming and shit like that. Oh.....how I loathe bathing suits. I just need to suck it up, or "suck it in" rather and do it for my kids.

Steve's 28th birthday was yesterday and he is in the kitchen singing right now. It is SO cute. It goes something like this...ahem..."It's my birthday and now it's not, so I think I'll eat some blue and white cake..." "with frosting in the middle and a bit on the top and on the backside, Yeah! It's really kind of good, but it could be better cuz it's butter cake and that's really hard to make from scratch. ....Yeah!" It's really quite a shame that you can't hear the amazing level of tone deafness that Steve embodies. Anyway, he is 28 now and for some reason, I have a feeling that this is going to be a really good year.

I have been so tired lately and Shepherd hasn't been sleeping well at all. I had my thyroid checked and all is well. So, what the hell. I guess I might just actually be tired from getting up with a six month old upwards of four times a night right now. What's making it more difficult is that the boys are sharing a room now, so when one wakes up so does the other. We'll get this thing figured out soon enough I suppose. I happen to think it's quite good for children to share rooms. Call me old fashioned. Call me cheap. Call me a proponent of child labor.

I am off to bed now. Steve is golfing ALL day tomorrow so I need to rest up! It's time to pick the cherries in the backyard and I am going to have to do a lot of management and supervising while the kids are on those ladders getting the high ones for me.

"we" mentality.

As excerpt from the book I am reading right now;

"When your happiness comes primarily from the happiness of others, you know you've moved from "me" to "we". And the whole problem-solving and opportunity-seizing process changes. But until family is really a priority, this movement does not usually take place.

A beautiful family culture is a "we" culture. It reflects that movement. It's the kind of culture that enables you to work together to select and move toward a "together" destination and to contribute, to make a difference- in society generally and perhaps to other families in particular. It also enables you to deal with the powerful forces that would throw you off track-including turbulent weather outside the plane ( the culture we live in and things such as economic dislocation or sudden illness over which you have no control) and turbulent social weather inside the cockpit (contention, lack of communication, and the tendency to criticize, complain, compare and compete)."

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families"--Stephen Covey

The Glue.

My husband. My beautiful husband is the glue.

Today, my husband, in an effort to support me to make this Father's Day really special, put up with my family and all our dysfunctional glory for FOUR HOURS on HIS special day. As I type this I am sitting here, feeling overwhelmed with love for Steve- overwhelmed that he continues to give of himself, of his time, of his peace even when he so clearly shouldn't have to. I love that about my husband. I am so sorry that I made him listen to me cry over yet another disappointment with my brothers, when he could have just as easily ( and rightly so I might add) been out on a lounge chair, having a icy cold drink and having some peace and quiet. I love him so much.

I love that my children have a father who takes his job as "FATHER" more seriously than any other job. I love that when they want a hug or need reassurance he is always there, usually squatting down so that they can see his beautiful and comforting smile. I love that he takes the time to listen to them. He listens and engages, never shooing them away as I can so easily recall, when reflecting on my own childhood. Even if he actually is too busy for them, he never says it. He never belittles them. He makes them feel safe, loved, special, wanted, valuable and important. He lets them be the little people they are without fear that he is constantly screwing them up or not putting enough "in" or taking too much "out", as I am guilty of doing, almost every minute of every day I have with them. He lets them be. He lets himself be. That makes room for God, who is the ultimate Father and the best Teacher of all.

I could not have picked Steve for myself because, all of the qualities that I thought were important or even "necessary" to have in a spouse, aren't. Steve has shown me that vibrant cheering can just as easily be replaced by a warm hand to hold. That athleticism will never compare to availability. That crying can be one of the sexyist things a man can do. He has shown me a world of manhood that I had never seen before nor will I likely see again. He is more than a man. He is my perfect husband. He is my children's perfect father. He is God's perfect son. He is the most gentle, intelligent, compassionate, generous, funny, life-filled, spiritually inspiring man I have ever known. His arms maintain the perfect blend of strength, enabling him to protect any one of us, and of softness, against which we can fall when we are breaking inside.

My husband is the glue. I love him. I honor him and strive to be more like him. He inspires me often and I have loved him from the moment I set eyes on him. Somehow, if it's possible, I am more sure of my love for him in the middle of an argument, after almost six years of marriage, than I was in the midst of pure ecstasy the moment he proposed. Is that possible? Because that's how I feel.

Happy Father's Day, my beautiful husband. Thank you for our three beautiful children. Thank you for you. Thank you for your love and your provision. You make it all possible, and for that I more grateful than you can know.

Timing is everything.

So, we're sick. Yep, that'd be why I have been so tired and Paxton has been so whiny and Ella has been so.......two.

Currently, we are averaging a mean temperature around here of 100.0. ( Averaging a mean? Is that redundant?) I am cold, Paxton is "so cold", Ella has been naked at times, Shepherd is clothed (but probably wouldn't be if he could tell me how he really felt) and Steve is his usual "sweating his balls off".

Oh, that's right. Anyone hear me say "and Father's day is coming up"? Cuz it is. That sucks. I am supposed to go to a bridal shower on Saturday afternoon, Steve is supposed to go to a poker party later tonight (to which I think he'll "suck it up" and go), Father's Day and Mass are Sunday. Timing. Timing my friends. Timing is everything.

I decided to let everyone ride out their temperatures and only medicate at night when we all need our precious sleep. Fevers are so good for us, but we have culturally brainwashed to believe that we should take them away ASAP so that we "feel better" only to inevitably prolong whatever alien has come in and tried to take over every square inch of our bodies. My motto? Burn em out! My our bodies like a LIVING HELL IN WHICH THEY HAVE CHOSEDN TO DWELL.

The end.

bring it.

What a crazy day we have already had and it is only 2:45pm. I dropped Paxton off at a friend's this morning so that Ella, Shepherd and I could make a "costco run". I am sure you are all familiar with what that is. SIX HUNDRED THIRTEEN DOLLARS AND NINETY TWO CENTS LATER, I had what I needed and both kids were still alive. Now it was time to buckle up, drive to the gas station, stop, get gas, feed Shepherd, get Ella a snack and something to drink, buckle up, drive home, drop Ella and Shepherd off, put them down for naps, go get Paxton and deliver some frozen chicken to said friend who kept Paxton.

All was well and Paxton was in the car. By now, I was feeling tired. I know. Shocker. So...while Paxton is gazing out the window, looking as pooped as I felt, I asked the following questions and here were his answers;

Me: "Are you tired?"

Paxton: "No"

Me: "Do you think you need a nap?"

Paxton: "No"

Me: "Do you want to take a nap in Mom's bed?"

Paxton: "No"

Me: "Do you want to just lay down and take a rest and play your Thomas video?"

Paxton: "No"

Me: ---audible sigh and long pause--------

Paxton (turning to look at me now): "Are you all outta ideas?"

Me : "Yep"



So....Paxton is still awake and I am still tired. Damn kids who outgrow naps.

what to order....

Just a little taste of most of our day today:

Mommy: "What do you want to order for dinner, honey?"

Paxton: "Umm......a little peace and quiet."

The end.

Good time had by all

Well, we're back from Nashville. It was wonderful. We did a lot. We played a lot. We slept a lot. We ate a lot. We drove a lot. We read the paper a lot (okay, I read the paper a lot). We nursed Shepherd A LOT. My nipples have never quite felt like the personal chew toy of another human being before, like they do now. Anything to get through layovers, take-offs, landings and time changes. It was worth it. He can chew on my nipples anytime he wants if it means that I can take a week off from every other household chore!

Steve and I have been catching up today on emails, laundry, housework, watering plants...etc. I think I am on load five of laundry. Just a few minutes ago I was in the laundry room, folding, when the phone rang. It was my brother-in-law. He said, "Hey! How was your trip?" I say, "Great! It's good to be back too. I missed the kids." He says, "What are you up to?" I say, "Oh, you know, just doing ton of laundry...Reaping what I sow". He says, " You sewed some laundry while you were gone?" Ohhhhh......Heavens. He's cute. He is so nice. He also thinks that I made up the word "gelatinous".

I didn't miss the kids until about day three of our trip and even then it was a forced yearning. But man, when we were killing time on Sunday, waiting for our 7p.m. flight out of TN, I was REALLY missing them. We couldn't get to Moses Lake fast enough this morning to get them! We pulled up and Ella, yes Ella, came RUNNING to the van with the biggest, sweetest smile on her face. It was so precious. It felt so good. She jumped into Steve's arms and then mine for big hugs. Paxton was so excited that he couldn't stay in the hiding spot that he had so cleverly picked out. ( He has a habit of giggling during hide and seek, so I don't know what in the world made him think he could pull THIS off, this a moment of pure exhilaration to see his MOM AND DAD AND BABY BROTHER) After that, I don't know who was more excited, them or us.They kept coming in for bear hugs and kisses. Both of them jumped up on the chair next to me at different time and wanted to hold and kiss Shepherd. Paxton was tickling him and singing "rock-a-bye baby" to him. Does it get any sweeter than that? I ask you?

Steve and I loved that when we left this year for "our" vacation, the kids had each other. It is so comforting to know that they are each others "lovey's". Some kids have a doll, some have blankies, some have strange sock puppets. Our kids have each other. That one constant that keeps telling you, over and over again, "I'm here, reminding you of home, of our family." I love that they kiss and hug each other and that when Ella pounds Paxton over the head and immediately says, "Sorry Paxy", he looks at her and says, "It's okay Boo-Boo, I 'give' you".

Icing on the cake? Having your housekeeper house-sit for you. What do housekeepers do when they get bored? Yep, CLEAN. This house is Sparkling. She organized MY FREEZER! Who does that?! Just when I was thinking I was paying her too much. Now I sort of feel like I owe her $60.00 every two weeks...and maybe a kidney or some other useful organ too.

I hear that the dryer has stopped. Must press on. Must fold more laundry. That is the nature of the vacationing beast. Off to reap what I sow....er, sew some laundry. Either way, it'll suck.