Doing my family proud.

This is the letter I just sent to the editor. I am such an embarrassment to my in-laws! Dragging this name through the media like I do. I'm only half serious. Everyone who knows me knows that I believe you have to stand for something, else you stand for nothing. Now that's quotable!



"The greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child." -Mother Teresa

Moses Lake's annual March for Life was held this past Sunday at 1pm. Some of you may have seen us walking together on Stratford Road, holding signs and waving at passersby. You might have seen us and you might have honked to show your support or just waved back. Thank you.

Thank you to all those of you who showed up to walk in in the cold. To walk for Life.

The war on terror is on everyone's minds. We have lost 3,084 Americans in the war on terror--Americans who gave their lives honorably, defending our country. But, there is a another war going on. In this war and in only one day, the dead and wounded outnumber the Americans killed in the entire war on terror. It's a war we aren't talking about; right here in America, on our own soil. We have lost over 47,000,000 Americans so far. How many more will we lose? We are killing and wounding our own in record numbers; 3,700 murdered children and 3,700 wounded mothers per day. 126,000 per day worldwide. It is truly the invisible holocaust.

Please pray about what you can do. How can you be more involved? How can you be more involved in helping a fellow American? An innocent American, whose life is just as valuable as yours and mine, is worth helping. Don't you agree? Big or small, you can absolutely make a difference in our community.

An unwanted pregnancy never equals an unwanted child.

Next year, please join us. Please plan ahead, and join us. We never know what hurting mother might need to see us out there that day, smiling, waving, and reminding her that her life is valuable and that the little life within her is valuable--both were divinely created for a purpose.

God bless you, His precious child-

Nevermind.

...while we were making pretzels and I was making an egg wash for them.

Paxton: Mom, can I do that?

Me: No, honey, this is raw egg. It could have bacteria in it.

Paxton: What's bacteria?

Me: Umm....it's complicated.

Paxton: What's complicated mean?


Are we already to that every-single-sentence-is-a-question phase?

40 hours.

We are back. It took 40 hours and I feel like a WHOLE NEW WOMAN. Refreshed. Renewed. Ready to take on my busy life again.

We did indeed eat the best Thai food on the face of the earth. We meandered through Ikea. We ate at Andaluca. We visited each place we lived over there (four total) to see how much things had changed. We went to a David Copperfield show. I did, in fact, make it through not one but two entire Seattle Times, beginning to end. I drank coffee. We went to Borders and got some gifts for the kids. I showered without rushing. We finished conversations. It was glorious.

Thank you, Steve, for a wonderful weekend away. Thank you, Mom, for making it possible.

The funniest sign we saw was carried by a transient rocking out to a street bagpipe performer: Help. My father was killed by Ninjas. Need money for karate lessons.

More than I do.

Steve and I are three days away from a weekend away--all by ourselves. Thanks to Noni, at this time on Friday we'll be driving in the car, likely listening to some type of conservative talk radio, kicking up our heels and relaxing. Just the two of us.

Seattle, here we come!

I can almost taste it. Thai food, Ikea, Andaluca, a movie, lots of walking downtown, a few homeless people and maybe a little candy from "The Candy Bowl" at Steve's main office. I'm going to read the entire paper, IN ONE SITTING, with a steaming cup of decadent coffee in hand. You want to come with us, don't you?

Noni, you're a lifesaver. As Paxton says, " I love you more than I do".

I'm wishing I were in Washington D.C...

and praying for all those that are.

"And if we can accept that a mother can kill her child how can we tell other people not to kill one another?"
-Mother Teresa

We're in like...

Sardines.

1400 square foot adorable rental? Here we come!

There's no place like home.

1700 square feet: The size of the first home we ever bought. It was a townhouse and we loved it.

4000 square feet: The size of the second home we bought. It was a six bedroom, three bath. We had 2 children. We loved it.

400 square feet: The size of the garage we lived in. Yes, you read that right. Garage. We had two children and one on the way. We didn't love it but we were grateful to have it and we made it work.

6000 square feet.: The size of the house that we were supposed to start construction on when we lived in said garage. We loved the house plans that we had designed and we were going to have 3 children.

2300 square feet: The size of the home that we bought when we decided it was a bad idea to build the aforementioned house. We weren't in love with the location and it just didn't feel like it was the right time. It really felt like God was guiding us in another direction. We still had 3 children.

1400 square feet: The size of the rental home that we just went and looked at and FELL IN LOVE with. It is about 100 feet from the front door of the church, and two blocks away from a park, a beautiful cemetary, a coffee shop, the library, and the bank. It's tiny, cramming 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and two stories in that 1400 square feet. We loved it and we are going to have 4 children, one dog, one cat, and one Steve working from home in it.

5000 square feet: The size of the home that we'll start building in the spring. On 5 acres. 5 acres that couldn't feel more right or more blessed by God. We'll live there with our 4 children, our existing animals, and maybe some chickens. And you know what? We'll be the same family we were in that little garage.

Home is where our heart is. Our heart is in our family. Our family will always be home.

Blessed Business.

We have a busy rest of the week and weekend ahead of us. This is one of those rare times I find myself wishing that it was Monday!

Work today and working out tonight. Putting the house on the market and finalizing cleaning out/ storing all unnecessary items in the house tomorrow. School Advisory Committee meeting tomorrow night. We are going to have to fire a teacher, I think. :( I meet with my Parenting Program student on Friday, and have a card making class Friday night while my family has "movie and pizza night" without me. I'll make a potato salad and drop it off at the church for a funeral on Saturday morning. Saturday, my women's group is having a "most of us are having a baby" party. :) I am looking forward to that! It'll be here, so I have a few things to get ready. No gifts, but some fun decorations, a couple fun games, and a super cute cake. Saturday night, the children's theater is presenting "The Jungle Book". Still on the fence about whether we'll go or not. I think it'd be so fun to take Paxton and Ella. We'll see where our energy is and how the kids are holding up.

See? Now, don't you wish it were Monday?

Life is good. Life is busy. Life is full. Life is blessed.

Language acquisition.

Shepherd: **spontaneously screams** (as he has become acccustomed to doing all hours of the day now)

Me: **sigh** Oh, baby. Why do you have to do that?!

Paxton: Mom, he's just saying 'hi'.

Steve: *laughs*

Me: Oh, really?

Paxton: Yeah. You didn't know I could speak baby, did you?

I am grateful for...

1. Friday night "movie and pizza" night. ( And kids that get totally excited when we ask them what day it is. Wednesday= mom's work and playdate after that, Friday=movie and pizza night, and Sunday= getting to go to Jesus' house.)

2. A husband who rarely complains about anything.

3. Curves.

4. Really supportive sisters in Christ who are more supportive than I could have imagined. Bloggers and non-bloggers.

5. Maternity pants.

6. The fact that we are going to get to BUILD a house this year. That we get to sell this one, and get to have the adventure of moving again, and that we aren't scared in the least about any of it.

7. My amazing children that say more adorable things during the day than I could even hope to remember.

8. Faith.

9. Family.

10. That I get to stay home and enjoy, nourish, and foster both.

Perspectives.

(As we are all in the van, on the way home after Mass, Shepherd starts SCREAMING at the top of his lungs. Not crying. Not upset. Just screaming very, very, very loudly.)

Ella: Baby Shepherd! Stop screaming! You're just being too loud!

Paxton: He's just happy to be alive, Ella!

Ah, yes, that must be it.

Let me ask you...

what is a better testament to the power of prayer than the fact that the following transformations have taken place within the lives of the nine women in my Women's Book Club/Prayer group in the last six months;

1. Seven out of nine of us are now pregnant, one of which was convinced the only way she and her husband could ever conceive would be through IVF. (They already had one child this way. Our next book is Christopher West's "Theology of the Body", which will hopefully educate us ALL about the sanctity of human life and the Church's teaching.)

2. Two of our husbands (mine included) have had conversions of heart and found Christ.

3. One woman finally sent off her annulment papers yesterday after sitting on them for over a year because of fear and feelings of failure.

I cannot believe the change in direction Steve's and my life has taken. We were talking and reflecting on the past year and all the things that have changed for us. I am so in love with who Steve is. I have a greater respect for him now than ever before. I watch the way he is a leader with our children. I watch they way he instructs them in everything from having good manners, to helping him fix something, to what Jesus is asking of us. I watch the way that he continues to grow in his own faith and continues to force me to stretch myself.

In my own life, I have noticed change. I yell less. I still talk just as much, but, while I used to pray for God to help me talk less, now I realize that it's a gift. The gift of communication. If I didn't speak like I do, I couldn't do what I do. Girls certainly wouldn't confide in me about unplanned pregnancy, abusive boyfriends, or sexual promiscuity like they do when I am open, safe, and comforting. I definitly wouldn't have the beautiful friendship with my husband that I do. All with words. I recently started praying for docility as well. Not patience. I have found that when I pray for patience I am given WAY more opportunites to practice it than I'd like. No, no prayers for patience. Prayers for docility. Docility.

Hopefully in this new year we'll be building a new home, moving from this one into a much smaller rental while we wait, welcoming a sixth member to our family, and Steve will be getting a promotion. I will find more balance, question myself less and pray more. Steve will keep leading this family and gaining more and more comfort to lead spritually as well. We are in process.


And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. Matthew 21:22


Pray like it's all up to Him, work like it's all up to you.

Engrossed.

I am engrossed. Currently, I am reading one of the best books I have read to date. One of my favorite authors, Scott Peck's beautiful work; "The People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil". It is so good. I am learning. (Specifically that evil doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being possessed or the people you might only find in prisons.) I am learning and I am finding that all those psychology courses and that nifty major of mine is paying off. I might not be out in the work force but, darn it, I have enough clean up work to do right in my own family and extended families! When we live in the Truth, and let go of fear, we Live. Here's to endless learning and LIVING.

In another effort to live in the Truth, I am making major strides on the home front. This comes after a particularly disturbing and brief conversation that took place at our dinner table about a week ago. I was tired, which is no excuse but must be said. I am not proud.

Me: Okay, let's sit down and eat. Dinner's ready.

Everyone: Okay!

Ella: Can I have some water?

Me: ( as I get up to get it) **sighing** Yes. Hang on.

(Shepherd is screaming, sitting at his high chair, waiting to be fed)

Me: There. Oh, we need napkins. Hang on. (more sighing as I go back to the kitchen to retrieve the napkins).

...I'm finally sitting down so we can begin eating.

Paxton: Mommy, can I have some milk too?

Me: Argh! You know, I'd just like to sit and eat MY dinner for once! Is that possible?! It's not my job to always be serving YOU.



Okay. There it is. I had to make serious amends to Paxton later. That conversation has been sticking with me since then. I haven't been able to shake the fact that I said that to my son. I talked with Steve about it after the kids had gone to bed that night. I said, " I feel badly. You know, that IS my job. It IS my job to serve him. That is my vocation. It's my own small call to holiness. And here I am, complaining and whining about it. Getting angry and resentful at the kids for needing me so much." Steve just smiled and said, " I know. I thought the same thing." ( At which point I didn't know whether to keep my moment of humility in tact or get up and sock him between the eyes. Thankfully, I had a moment of grace and chose the former.) I knew what he meant, though. I knew that he was lovingly encouraging me to feel and explore a little guilt, a little attack of conscience, and to use it to improve myself. Not to wallow in it, but to make postive change. He just didn't quite put it that eloquently.

So, I have been saying a morning consecration. A prayer dedicating my entire day, my words, my eyes, my ears, and my duties to God. A prayer of thanks and of intention to entrust my children, my husband and myself to Him. To what He desires for us. I have also been making a much more conscious effort to say a prayer (thanks to Danielle Bean) to my childrens' guardian angels. A prayer of protection. Protection from me. I know, it sounds like I beat my children. I promise, I don't. It sounds like I run around screaming at them, chasing them with sticks. I don't. But, what concerns me is something that I have known for many years but something that I guess I never gave much thought until recently.

You can break children. Without ever touching a hair on their head. You can break them with inattention, emotional unavailability, being fearful yourself, witholding love and affection, and keeping God's beauty and message from them. You can break them.

God, with Your Love and Grace, may we not only not break our children, but may we build them up, with Your help, into spiritual, selfless, emotional, happy, loving, life-filled, truthful servants. May we always protect them from human evil, ours or others. May we do it with a spirit of Joy. The True Joy of selflessness.

I am currently engrossed in my family becoming a "People of The Truth".

Devotions Meme

1. Favorite devotion or prayer to Jesus? The Lords Prayer.

2. Favorite Marian devotion or prayer? Hail Mary

3. Do you wear a scapular or medal? Neither. I wear a rosary bracelet but no medal or scapular. Am I a wuss for being scared of the wool on the scapular?

4. Do you have holy water in your home? No, but it's on my to-do list within the month.

5. Do you offer up your sufferings? I am getting better at it.

6. Do you observe First Fridays and First Saturdays? Not yet. We are talking about it.

7. Do you go to Eucharistic Adoration? How frequently? I have to ask our priest if we can start it. Our parish doesn't currently have adoration. :(

8. Are you a Saturday evening Mass person or Sunday morning Mass person? Definitely Sunday morning. I love to make our whole day be about Christ and family.

9. Do you say prayers at mealtime? Always. (The kids would NEVER let us forget!)

10. Favorite Saint(s)? St. Francis and St. Anthony.

11. Can you recite the Apostles Creed by heart? Yes.

12. Do you usually say short prayers (aspirations) during the course of the day? All day long.

13. Where is your favorite places to pray? Sitting up in my bed, at the end of the day, in the shower, and when I'm doing dishes.

14. Bonus Question: When you pass by an automobile accident or other serious mishap, do you say a quick prayer for the folks involved? Always. In fact, the kids do as well. They really seem to be drawn to impromptu prayer, even if it is for a crisis situation.