So close I can taste it...

So many things are so close I can taste them. My first vacation alone with my husband in almost a year (well, Shepherd will be with us, but does that really count?). My two-year-old running up to me and exclaiming, unprompted, "Mommy, I love you!" My four year old starting to be, overall, more helpful than hindering. The days when we are waking up at 7:00 instead of 5:30 and getting out of bed rested and energetic instead of dragging ass for about two hours, desperately waiting for that coffee to "kick in". When I am COMFORTABLY back into my size eight clothes, instead of tucking all things into them, praying that a button won't pop off if I should happen to accidentally SIT DOWN. So close I can taste it.

My retreat was amazing. It is so beautiful in Winthrop, right along the Methow River. The people that own it, offer it as a retreat center, but it is actually their own private sprawling 100+acre ranch with horses and calmly grazing sheep on beautiful green meadows. You enter their estate and there is a big sign that reads, "The Lord is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want". Let me tell you, I did not "want" the entire time I was there. I just thanked and honored Him. I am reading "The Power of a Praying Parent" right now, since I just admitted OUT LOUD last weekend that there are some times that I look at my two-year-old and want to throw her against the wall. It might have been one of the most humbling experiences I have ever had. What was even more beautiful than the sheep and the horses and the meadow and the river? 9 women, all mothers, crying with me and telling me they had been there too. Nothing feels as good as knowing you're not alone. The desert is always so much drier when you're walking in it alone.

Steve is going to Seattle again today. This would be the third time in 8 days. Oh Nashville, how I long to see your face.

The topic of the retreat was "The Beatitues" from the Sermon on the Mount. I am trying to "offer it up" a little more and bitch a little less. This life here on earth is SO short compared to what we're headed for. ETERNITY. Like Fr. Richard says, " Hey, none of us are getting outta this alive".

I am so excited for summer to be here. It has been in the 90's and finally started cooling off a bit this last week. 90's? May? Crazy. I still hate dirt, but I am finding that as long as I am using protection on my hands I am actually enjoying working in it and tending my flowers! Too bad the flowers need the dirt. :( I would NEVER condone having it around my home otherwise.

Oh...a laugh for the road. Our housekeeper gave me a mini-lecture about not letting the kids eat anywhere but at the table because fishy cracker crumbs are causing an "ant problem". Yeah. I pay you 60 dollars for 4 hours of work. Shut up. (Inside, trying not to feel like the dirtiest mother that ever lived. How could I let my children eat crackers AND watch a movie at the same time?! I am pond scum.)