eating RAW....easy as pie

I can't believe how much I love this. I have been eating raw for only four days now, but already feel really good. I have more energy and am clearer headed. I love what I have been reading about all the benefits. I also and addicted to sugar and am dealing with that a bit as well. I realize that my relationship with food needs to be examined. I know how to eat healthfully, that's not the problem. The problem is the obsession about why I am or am not +/- five pounds at any given moment. It totally takes away an gratitude that I might have about the food God gave us and it's purpose; to NOURISH our bodies, not to undereat, overeat, abuse, manipulate and change. Now, don't get me wrong, I see NOTHING wrong with enjoying a good steak, a nice glass of wine, or a yummy piece of homemade pie. But I think, for the most part, Americans have no idea how to do that. Because, to them, enjoying something doesn't stop there. Not only do we enjoy it but we either want more and eat a lot more, want more and obsess about wanting more, want more and then tell ourselves what fat pigs we are and that we didn't deserve it in the first place, or we didn't even enjoy while we were eating it because we were thinking about how long we were going to have to spend on the treadmill to "burn that shit off!". Do you think people had these sick relationships with food five hundred years ago. I doubt it. Man, now I really do sound like a tree-hugging hippie.

One of my friend's is in the hospital giving birth as I type this. How cool. I went to see her last night and take over some muffins and some size one pink running shoes. What baby girl couldn't use some running shoes?! My friend was obviously uncomfortable. It was hard to see her that way, but sort of fun to see what REAL labor looks like. I have never had that. Even with Shepherd, I just petered out and needed "augmentation". I decided last night that, no matter how long I have to be pregnant next time, I am going to wait it out and let my body go into labor when it's darn good and ready. I'll post again about this topic when I am about 38 weeks into my next pregnancy. Thank God I don't have to sign anything.

I got my Cuisinart today! I made homemade peanut butter for the kids. Well, more for Paxton and myself, since Ella is allergic. It was SO good and all I had to do was mix peanuts for two minutes. How idiot-proof is that? I love that kind of convenience to make healthy food! I still have a little work to do (with respect to a RAW lifestyle), since my first thought was.....Ooooooo, this would be so good if I threw some dark chocolate pieces in it!

Slacker mom

It's official. My second son and third born, can now throw himself over from tummy to back. When did it happen, you ask? Well, I can't be sure since I WASN"T EVEN HERE! I got a call on my cell phone about six minutes after I walked out the front door. It was Steve, informing me that our son had reached his first MAJOR milestone. Yeah, that felt good. My first thought was.... "and why do I stay home again? Wasn't it so that I would be there for all those precious 'firsts' that will never happen again?" Yeah, glad I could only HEAR about it while standing in the produce section, squeezing avocados. Oh, Shepherd forgive your slacker mother.

We had a good day today. Our Sundays have transformed themselves into the most amazing days. Days which we used to dread, for fear that once again our daughter would sing "Happy Birthday to you!" very loudly during the solemn celebration of the blessed sacrament. Steve used to be broken out in a complete sweat by 9:30 with the hussle and bussle of trying to get himself ready, help me with the kids, and then hurry to the atm, grab cash, run into the church and claim our usual spot, IN THE BACK of course. Now, our Sunday's are still pretty full and busy, but wonderful. We went to Mass, came home, napped, went to see "Ice AGE 2" at the theater, went grocery shopping and got the kids to bed. Now Steve and I are about to sit with a glass of wine and watch a movie. Nicely done, Prentice 5.

I also started eating "raw" today. Man, it is a comletely different way to think and eat and I LOVE it. I have a friend supporting me, who has been eating this way for over a year. She has four children and swears that her energy and clarity of thought is like nothing she had ever experienced before. Okay Carol, now it's time to put your natural nut paste where your mouth is! I'm giving it a go! I will still be cooking the same way (with minor adjustments so that I am not COMPLETELY left out of family meal times) for Steve and the kids. I don't want to force anything on them (at least with their knowledge of it).

Sunday six!

"The Whole World!" -- Answers given by Paxton and Ella

1. How big is the whole world?

(P)Uhh....This big (and he holds his arm up really high.)
(E) Robots! ( I have no idea)

2. What is a rainforest?
(E)Oswald is gonna get in the rainforest and Daisy is and Henry is to shoot the snakes out of the forest!
(P)I don't know.

3. What lives in the ocean?

(P)Fish, Seahorse, Sharks!
(E)Oswald is and weenie is.

4. What color is the Earth?

(P)Blue!
(E)Good green and blue

5. Why do humans live in houses?

(P)Cuz them don't get cold when them don't have houses.
(E)Cuz we do, cuz I play a lot. Cuz it's tickle time?

6. Why do we celebrate Earth Day?
(P)Cuz, its Easter.

(E)Cuz we do.

who's at work here?

I just finished reading this wonderful book "Effigies in Ashes", by Robert Dagny. It was the conversion story of a man that had an incredible life filled with a ton of heartache, temptation, sin, and pain. He blamed the church for so many things that he felt went wrong in his life. Then something happened to him. He came back and realized that it was his own misconceptions the whole time. He had been judging the people who "represented the church" and not the church itself. He had attatched the two. He had to learn to separate them to forgive them. The message was forgiveness, moving on, letting go and loving unconditionally. Why is it that our human nature seems to be to hang on to things from long ago, and use them as a basis from which to form every opinion we have? Do we really ever let go and forgive, or do we forget? I'm not sure I believe that whole forgive and forget thing is possible. How does one selectively forget? It seems like there are too many people in my life who can't.

A family member of mine wants me to go to therapy with them for issues that I think are old, and they think are new. I am having hard time not believing that with enough prayer this person could just let go and realize that we are who we are, and that's okay. I have. In the 26 years that I have known them, they haven't changed their personality much. For a long time it angered me, even enraged me. Then I got to a place where I didn't need them to be different. Now, I'm even to a place where I appreciate them being the way they are because it's so different than who I am, I think it's good for my children to have a variety of personality types all around them and amongst family members. I don't know where I am going with this, other than to say that I think therapy has value...In certain situations. BUT when both have been through SO MUCH therapy, there comes a point when it would be more work to tell a therapist what's going on than to just deal with it and get over it. I love this person enough to do it, but I can't say that I'll have an extremely positive attitude with the therapist since I pretty much know everything they're going to say.

As I grow stronger in my personal faith and my family gets more solidly grounded in spirituality, my eyes are opening more and more. I am starting to see just how much influence the devil has all around us. I don't mean to sound like some religious fanatic...More a zealot I guess. At the end of this book, the man is talking to a priest and the priest said that in all of his years, he has noticed that it is the families trying the hardest to keep walking with the Lord that seem to have the most incidences of family members being pulled away by Satan. As the soul gets cleaner Satan tries harder. He doesn't really have to try that hard with the ones that are already tainted. For them, pain continues, and they don't really notice a shift towards it much. But for those walking in the light, pain and anguish is profound and noticeable, only being able to be resolved by more prayer to counteract it. Ups and downs vs. Climbs and plateaus.

On a much more shallow note, that friend that hadn't spoken to me in over a year is bringing her kids over for a playdate today! How cool! I am very excited about that. Then, Shepherd and I are going to head to Spokane so that I can go to an Adoption Awareness training seminar for counseling purposes. Should be nice getaway for us. I am even going to stay in a hotel! Woo hoo!

Sunday Six....a day late.

Paxton's Answers:

1. What is Passover?
I don't know.

2. Why do people celebrate Easter?
Cuz it's Easter.

3. What is a Seder?
I don't know, what's a seder? Ooo, I like Seder, that's a cool game!

4. Where does the Easter Bunny live?
In Spokane?.

5. What is Matzah Ball Soup? (And if you know, do you like it?)
I don't know.

6. What do you do with Easter Eggs?
Open them!

Brilliantly white

Steve was baptized and welcomed into faith and the presence of Christ by water and oil. Late Saturday night, I watched as my husband, tears filling his eyes (and most of the congregations) tip his head forward to be wiped clean, brilliantly whitened. It was more meaningful than our wedding day. He agrees. It just felt so incredibly powerful to watch that happen to a grown man. We have had all our children baptized, which is also beautiful. But, how dirty can they really be at three months old? It is such a bigger experience where there is a lifetime of sin, free will, and apparent agnostasism run riot.....and that's all for a guy who was pretty darn awesome BEFORE!

Easter was beautiful. The morning mass feels so different than the vigil mass. Obviously it's much shorter (1 hour vs almost 3), but everyone is rejoicing and singing praise again. All three kids slept through the entire thing, which probably made it even more enjoyable because we got to listen to every reading and fully participate. Oh...and my husband taking the blessed sacrament of the holy Eucharist was SO COOL to watch again. In our church, we are only suppose to receive it if we are in a state of grace, that is, not actively sinning, wanting to continue to sin, or have a mortal sin on our souls without having confessed it. Can you think of any person in a higher state of grace than my husband, the morning after his baptism?! Secretly, I can't wait until he does sin again and he gets to experience one of the most beautiful parts of our church, reconciliation. Oh, how the tears flow.

Shepherd, Ella and Paxton had SO MUCH FUN yesterday. We got up, had homemade cinnamon rolls, went to mass, came home, hunted Easter eggs in the front yard with some friends' kids and family, and ate together. I made the traditional lamb and a ham and mom and Joe, our friends, the Ahrend's, and Steve's parents came over. The kids were high on sugar all day and slept like babies last night. Ahh....what a good life.

Good Friday.

Today is Good Friday. I am feeling very melancholy. I have just been feeling so grateful for God's sacrifice, mixed with feelings of complete failure in my vocation and feelings of unworthiness. How in the heck are we supposed to be Christ-like, when some days, folding the laundry and checking the mail is the closest thing to holiness we can do?

It has been said that motherhood is the greatest calling. I do believe that it is a vocation and ordained by God. What I am having a hard time wrapping my head around is the idea that one can be holy at the same time. Where is there room or time for holiness? In between tiredness and lashing out with frustration, picking up poop and wiping off spit-up, folding laundry and buying groceries. Where is the time for the meditative prayer that my God so deserves. I had been praying the Rosary so faithfully every night for over two months. Now, I'm lucky if it gets my attention once a week. Oh, the failings.

Steve gets home tonight. I am elated. I miss him so much when he's gone. It's not even the help so much as the companionship, the warm body to lay next to at the end of an exhausting day, the person to high-five as I'm walking out the door to do some menial task. I love you, honey. Come home now, okay? We'll snuggle up, with some popcorn and a blankie and watch a classic tear-jerker..."THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST". Okay....maybe we'll skip the popcorn.

Wonders never cease.

So far, I have survived two whole days and one half day with all three kids BY MYSELF. I still have one to go, but two and a half outta three ain't bad. So, the way I look at it, I'm already ahead.

Today was a preschool day so as usual, our morning was pretty crazy. On the upside, the kids took good naps today, I caught a 20 minute nap myself, my letter to the editor was in the paper without an X through it, I made it to TWO stores today, showered, and.....are you ready for the real kicker?.....drum roll please.......A friend that hasn't spoken to me for over a year called and left a message on my cell phone saying, "I'm sorry and I miss you". Whoa. God is good and wonders never cease. I am so grateful. It felt so good just to hear her voice let alone the accompanying heartfelt apology and request for a call back! I am going to call her tonight. I sent them a Christmas card, but honestly never thought I'd see or hear from them again ( at least intentionally, this IS a very small community afterall). How good.

I am getting increasingly more excited about Steve's baptism. If I think about it for too long I start to get nervous. Why nervous? I'm not sure. Maybe it's because he'll now officially have the same standing that I do, thereby enabling him to "call me on my %$^#" better. As if he wasn't already completely armed with the capacity to annihilate me if we ever went toe to toe on the church's teachings about sex.

I am off to Holy Thursday mass. I got a babysitter!! Shepherd and I are going to have a little date. ;) It's going to feel so good. I have just been feeling so grateful lately. I am more excited about this Easter than any other that I can recall. I think I might even wear WHITE. Well....maybe not.

Busy days. Busier nights.

Why is it that, when Steve is out of town, I start wishing that my children's bedtime could be 5:30? A girlfriend of mine and I were recently talking about this strange phenomenon. Our husbands can be out of town for one day, five days, or twelve days. Because, you see, the days don't matter. The only things that matter are those wretched hours between 5:00 and 8:00, the nights. Just three hours? No, it can't be that bad. Well, I'm here to say it IS that bad.

Shepherd is crying and has been for 20 minutes. Ella doesn't seem to understand that I am not available to do the potty dance AND get her the glass of water that she has been asking me to get her for the last 4 minutes AND share in Paxton's excitement about having found another missing train that he thought he had lost in the abyss of his closet AND try to figure out why in the hell the baby is crying. Does it sound like I am whining? Well I am.

We painted the house today. It looks great and I love that it looks so clean around here. The kids decorated Easter Eggs at Grandma's house today and had a blast. Although I must admit, I was secretly hoping they would come home MUCH more exhausted than they were. :( That is usually always a bonus of staying at Grandma's. They did sleep in the car on the way home, but it's almost as if that actually caffeinated them and made them higher than kites when we got home. How is that possible?

I am pretty sure Shepherd is teething. Two days ago I thought it was a growth spurt. Now I think it's teething. For some reason, I feel the need to put a label on every baby's crankiness. It could just be that he's irritated with this family and finally realized that he's sick of this crap and wants the hell out. I certainly can't blame him. I just ask that if he goes, he takes me with him. We wouldn't have to tell anyone where we were going. I don't know how far we'd get since we'd have to stop for 20 minutes every three hours to eat......maybe we'd make it to Warden before they caught up with us.

Steve is being baptized this Saturday night as Easter Vigil Mass. I don't want to sound like a complete sap, but I could gush buckets full of tears. I cannot believe the spiritual journey he has taken. I cannot believe that the man I married is taking on the faith leadership of this family we created. I cannot believe how amazing and strong he is, yet somehow he has the ability to see right through my heart and our childrens' hearts. How can I tell him how amazed I am by him? How excited I am that he is now going to be Catholic WITH me and our kids. How I will now look up to him, asking his advice and support. This makes our marriage complete. After five and half years, this is the last piece of the puzzle on which we can FULLY build our lives together in every way. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Steve. I love you.

Sunday Six--our turn!

Sunday Six...by Paxton who is 4!

1. What planet do you live on?

"Uh...I don't know"

2. What happens if you don't eat all your dinner?

"We will get in trouble"

3. What happens when you are sick?

"We go to the doctor"

4. What makes a rainbow?

"I don't know what makes a rainbow"

5. Do you know everything there is to know?

"Well, I know the easy ones"

6. What do you want to be when you grow up?

"I want to be a daddy" (No kidding, he said exactly that. How sweet is my son?!)

....and here goes for Ella, who just turned 2:


1. What planet do you live on?

"The second big planet"

2. What happens if you don't eat all your dinner?

"cuz I need to get a spankin'"

3. What happens when you are sick?

"I'm gonna died!"

4. What makes a rainbow?

A horsey did.

5. Do you know everything there is to know?

huh?

6. What do you want to be when you grow up?

I wanna be Ella Princess!

Here's to you, Ms. "I don't know what the hell I was thinking" Editor....AND your lame ass excuses.

This was the reply that I recieved from the editor this morning. Hmmm......Does she want me to send her a twelve page LIST of all the shit that taxpayers are paying for that they would be appauled if they knew?--400,000 tax dollars for a TEAPOT MUSEUM in Raleigh, NC?! Planned Parenthood?! Come on, Editor, is that all you can come up with?


Thank you for writing. I certainly do understand and appreciate your opinion. However, Mr. Peasley and Mrs. Bergman allowed their relationship to become public when they irresponsibly began using publicly-funded computer systems to conduct it during school hours while citizens' tax dollars paid for them to write such messages. This story was about accountability and the public's right to know what these role models were doing while they were supposed to be teaching children. We excluded all of the very inappropriate conversations these two conducted during school hours while students were in the classroom and toned the story down as much as possible. I assure you a lot of thought went into making sure we were doing the right thing in regard to this story.

As for the Herald, I think we're all smart enough to know that while the public may not be able to read our e-mail, our bosses certainly can. There is no such thing as private e-mail unless one is in their own private home on a private computer.

Editor
Columbia Basin Herald
813 W. Third Ave.
Moses Lake, WA 98837
509.765.4561
fax: 509.765.8659

My original letter:

Shame on you Columbia Basin Herald.

First let me say that I do not know or have a personal relationship with Mr. Peasley or Ms. Bergman. And I certainly do not condone adultery. That being said, my heart broke for Mr. Peasley and Ms. Bergman after I read your story about them. I would be paying it too
much respect to even call it an "article".

I could not believe that the CBH would stoop so low and publish the
sordid details of their adult, mutually consensual relationship. The
poor decisions they made are, no doubt, having major repercussions
in their personal and professional lives. Those are natural consequences. But why is it that their personal lives need to be played out, including private emails, on the front page of our local paper? How inappropriate. How sad. How disappointing.

Oh how I wish the Columbia Basin Herald were a government entity, so
that we might relish in the juicy details of private emails sent to
and received by the staff there. What do you think we might find? And
how devastating might it be to their family and friends?

If your goal was to make an impact, Columbia Basin Herald, you have
certainly accomplished it. I am afraid to tell you however, that the
only lives you have changed by "breaking" this story are those you
have only further damaged. What would be an appropriate way to deal
with this incident? A letter sent home to the students' parents. A
private meeting, open only to fellow teachers, administrators and
those directly involved and/or concerned.

Please, in the future, have more discretion when choosing the stories
that might grace the front page of our paper. Do the right thing,
because I feel pretty certain this wasn't.

Sincerely Disappointed,

getting things done-

We had some friends over for dinner last night. It was SO nice. It was funny--we were joking with one couple, who has only been married a little over a year, that once you have children, just going over to a friend's house for a casual dinner calls for dressing up, hand holding, and maybe even a little something special at the end of the evening when you get home. It's a date. You got a babysitter, damnit, and the food AND the company could be total crap. You're just grateful for a night "out" to yourselves. Before kids? Just dinner with some friends. No big deal.

I am feeling a bit better now, less overwhelmed at least. I am sure going to miss my husband who will be gone four days this week. I am hoping we can do some good quality painting together today and tomorrow. It's supposed to rain the day we were going to paint the house. Ah...How life throws us curve balls. We are actually a little sick in the mind with how much we love painting. It's just this instant high when you look at a wall that used to be unpainted, boring, plain, average. Now it is transformed. It has taken on a color as if to say, "Hey! I'm right here! Thank you for giving me life!" Beautiful. Even white can be beautiful. It just has to want to be white.

Not much to report. Paxton is now four, has stopped sucking his fingers, STARTED sucking his thumb, and has given up naps altogether. He is such a big boy. (well, except for that whole trading the fingers for the thumb thing) Ella is fully potty trained, regressing only for brief moments when she squats to poop in the corner of her room in her panties. Yeah, that's what we're working with people. Shepherd is in the middle of a growth spurt, wanting to eat every two hours or so and waking up at 4 again. I am feeling more rested though, so it's totally tolerable. Steve has made his office into this peaceful place, complete with a standing work station. He now STANDS to work everyday. I am so proud of him. I know that must be hard. He is doing it because it's so much better for you than sitting all day. I think that's awesome that he is making the effort to take care of himself.

On to our family Sunday. It's palm Sunday today. The pope gave a wonderful homily on Passion Sunday, about what the cross really means. The fullness of life. So beautiful.

Things I just don't understand...

So I decided that I would take the kids to Spokane for a couple days since it's spring break this week and Paxton doesn't have Preschool. Mom and Joe are on vacation themselves for a week so I thought, Perfect! I'll take the kids and we'll just play at the parks, feed the ducks, go buy some groceries, and cook and "camp" at Noni's house. (More for mommy, because I seriously need a change of scenery and/or a break of some kind). So ......we packed up early and off we went. Have you been able to project where this is going yet? Yeah, no key to Noni's house. They DIDN'T LEAVE THE HIDDEN KEY! Yeah, I think I should have thought about making sure it was there BEFORE I packed three kids up in the car and headed east. Being spontaneous is a good thing, usually. :( Not this time.

So, after spending twenty minutes in my mom and step-dad's driveway, feeding Shepherd and trying to figure out what the hell we were going to do now, I decided that the kids should get some physical energy out before we turn around and drive another two hours home (and it was freezing cold outside). I took them to McDonald's to play on the indoor big toy. Here's the part where I get to the title of this post...what I just don't understand. Why, on God's green earth, do people think it's okay to bring their 4'11 10 and 11 year olds to play on the TODDLER toy? My poor children had to bob and weave like point guards to maneuver around those HUGE children. At one point another mom and I were terrified the whole thing was going to come crashing to the floor. Argh. Some parents.

On a positive note, my three children were amazing yesterday. They did well in the car, they minded so well in McDonald's and stayed right with me while ordering, unloading, going the bathroom , and loading back up in the car. Ella, knock on wood, has successfully potty trained herself (I only help when necessary--she seems to have a tiny bit of independence in her blood ;)). While I ordered, I had Shepherd in the carseat in one hand, Ella held my thumb and Paxton held myindex finger on my other hand. They even asked the lady behind the counter if she wanted to see their toys. So nice. We stayed there for TWO hours. I'm feeling like I turned the day around and it's back to being positive.

Then we get home. We pull into the driveway and Daddy is outside waiting for us while, I am sure, trying to hold back laughter. He usually helps me unload the kids and yesterday, he started with Shepherd. I hear from the backseat, "Oh, and look, you're not even buckled in.......at all." Holy crap! I drove from Spokane to Ephrata with my infant child in the back seat with not even so much as a lapbelt on! Just when I was thinking that this whole three-children-under-5 thing might be a lot easier than I thought.

Ahh....to be at the beach. Here's to you Mistalyn, Declan, Ausere family, Mom, Joe and even their DOG.

Dooce..whoa. Hot buttons.

I was reading another one of my favorite blogs, Dooce. I CANNOT believe the amount of energy people have over other people's choices about how to get their children to sleep. Okay, I guess I can, since I used to be one of them. But I don't think I would post on someone else's blog about it! Holy cow. There are indeed some "hot button" issues out there but usually they aren't about sleeping. I guess when you're a parent though, anything is fair game. What the hell do I know? I put my kids to sleep on their tummy's, vaccinate them, and let them cry it out when I know they're just tired. Love is a funny thing.

As I posted on Saturday, I had my bible study/book club girlfriends over here for our monthly meeting. Usually politics never play a roll in our discussions or meetings, but even if they had I wouldn't have worried about it since I figured we would all be on the same page anyway. WAS I EVER WRONG! Anyone who knows me knows how conservative I am. You can imagine how surprised I was that half of our little "religious" group was liberal. Whoa. Now, I'm no Rush Limbaugh, but I do happen to find modesty, repect for unborn life, self discipline, goodwill and service above self really attractive virtues. What's even more interesting? All of the ones that surprised me with their leftist opinions were educators ( maybe not so surprising)-and they were all talking about dumping more money into social programs..yeah, that'll make em work. Was that a soapbox I just sat on?

I remained silent for the entire conversation. Can you believe it? Me? Silent? I was afraid the Pandora's box that I might open would successfully alienate me from this precious group. I ended the converstaion by saying, "I don't know. You know, my Grandmother, who lived through the Great Depression, went to the movies, which she NEVER does, to see "Cinderella Man". She came out of there, weeping, saying, 'That's how America used to be--people took pride in who they were, worked hard, provided for their families, and only borrowed money from the governement when they were truly starving. They repaid the money as soon as they could because, damnit, it was the right thing to do'." Silence................."Okay! Should we choose the next book we're going to read?!"

Good day today. We turned the T.V off again and I once again have a relationship with my children and husband. I think I might acually read for pleasure later today! Look out! I hate that I have such an addictive personality and cannot unglue myself from the television at night. There's not even anything WORTH watching on. I just watch it because it's there. That damn hypnotizing blue haze, flickering in the backround of the family room.

Happy Birthday Paxton...Pope John Paul II remembered

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday dear Paxton, happy birthday to you. Today is a good day to turn 4.

While eating our birthday cake for breakfast at 6:30 this morning, Mommy says, "Paxton, what one thing did you learn while being 3?" Paxton responds, "to suck my fingers". Same questioned asked of Ella. "What did you learn while Paxton was 3?" She screams, "ONE!". Hmm, maybe she didn't understand the question. What did Daddy learn? "That we really like baby Shepherd!" And....drum roll please......Mommy secretly learned that, eventhough it's someone's birthday, the litter box still needs to be cleaned out.

I started feeling sorry for my son that he has to share a birthday with the memorial of Pope JP II. Then I realized that this was a day to celebrate and to honor. It will be a GOOD day to share....unlike an old friend who gave birth on September 11th, 2001. Pope John Paul was, in my opinion, the greatest Pope we have ever had. His vision for the future of the church was about love, acceptance, and willingness to humble ourselves to help others. To give when we felt we had nothing, to love when we wanted to hate, and to put others first. Always. Man, I have some work to do.

After Mass we are off to Chuck E. Cheese, the same place we were, just one year ago, celebrating paxton's 3rd birthday! Man, Mr. Cheese and this family are really going to be tight by the time Paxton's 8 or so! I was looking at some video we took last year at paxton's party. I was pregnant with Shepherd but didn't know it yet. How beautiful life is. I also found out I was pregnant with Ella on Paxton's 1st birthday. So, overall, April 2nd is a REALLY GOOD DAY.

Here's to you Mr. Prentice. It's going to be good to be 4!

book club days...

Today I met with my bible study/book club girls. I always love our meetings and usually end feeling much better than when we began. They are so strong, each one of them. I think that each one of us feels love for the other that we don't really express or maybe can't. We haven't known each other for that long so it's hard to imagine that we would feel as bonded as we do. Like I said, none of us ever really says, "Oh, I love you so much!", but it's understood. I know that I can cry with them and it's never talked about again. I know that when they leave, they go home to their families, lay down at night, and they pray for ME. How awesome is that? I believe now, more than I ever have in my life, that the biggest gift you can give to someone is to pray for them. I have seen people's lives and attitudes transformed right in front of my eyes.

I am going to pray for each of them for ten minutes when I go down to confession at 4. I am writing this in my blog so that I ACTUALLY GO DOWN TO CONFESSION. I MUST NOT FORGET for the third Saturday in a row! Especially since my husband force fed me bacon on a lenten Friday (we both forgot it was Firday). Dear God, may I not burn in hell. As I approach Easter, I am feeling so much more contemplative and solemn. I know that I just blogged about being minorly depressed. It just dawned on me as I was writing this that there might be a correlation here. Lent. Solemnity. Contemplation. Repressing indulgence. Depression? How weak I am.

Steve took the kids to the fish hatchery this morning. It was pretty darn cute to see them getting so excited to go catch fish with daddy. They came home wet, empty handed, and stinking of carp. I LOVE that Steve fishes. I LOVE that he doesn't spend his Saturdays and Sundays sitting in front of the t.v. entranced by some stupid football, baseball, or soccer game. Not that sports don't have a place, they certainly do...but not in my living room on a family day.-Okay, I will make an exception for COUGAR FOOTBALL, but that's it. Thank you Lord, for bringing a man into my life who doesn't scream explitives at the television set, delusionally believeing that the referees might actually hear him and change their call.

Paxton Jarrod turns 4 years old tomorrow. Where did my sweet, chubby, smiley baby go? The one that laughed all the time, ate well, and slept like a dream? Oh, he's still here. I forgot, he'll always be my baby. He sure is a tall one! ;) He is such a precious and beautiful light in our lives. His little sister and brother are SO lucky to have him as a big brother. Chuck E Cheese, here we come!! Out with the old, in with the new. Out with the finger sucking, in with.....dating? No, not yet. Let's just shoot for 4 year old preschool for now.