Good Friday.

Today is Good Friday. I am feeling very melancholy. I have just been feeling so grateful for God's sacrifice, mixed with feelings of complete failure in my vocation and feelings of unworthiness. How in the heck are we supposed to be Christ-like, when some days, folding the laundry and checking the mail is the closest thing to holiness we can do?

It has been said that motherhood is the greatest calling. I do believe that it is a vocation and ordained by God. What I am having a hard time wrapping my head around is the idea that one can be holy at the same time. Where is there room or time for holiness? In between tiredness and lashing out with frustration, picking up poop and wiping off spit-up, folding laundry and buying groceries. Where is the time for the meditative prayer that my God so deserves. I had been praying the Rosary so faithfully every night for over two months. Now, I'm lucky if it gets my attention once a week. Oh, the failings.

Steve gets home tonight. I am elated. I miss him so much when he's gone. It's not even the help so much as the companionship, the warm body to lay next to at the end of an exhausting day, the person to high-five as I'm walking out the door to do some menial task. I love you, honey. Come home now, okay? We'll snuggle up, with some popcorn and a blankie and watch a classic tear-jerker..."THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST". Okay....maybe we'll skip the popcorn.