the working rebel

I just got back from a long weekend in Spokane with my mom. I was so glad to be able to have Steve's support to go over there. I tried to be really helpful and I just hope that I was. She is recovering slowly but surely. It's so hard to watch your mom be in physical pain, pain that you can't take away. I always figure food helps in times of pain. So, I just made a bunch of soup and sides, helped her walk around, tried not to make her feel like a small child, and tried not to mix up her pills while administering them and accidentally kill her. Joe warned me before I got there that, in an effort to be frugal, my mother, in a medicated fog,"combined" her new prescriptions with the ones that she's had for years. So stubborn. Honestly, I don't know where she gets it. I'm certainly no that way. Not at all. Really. Not at all. Seriously.

While I was there I started reading an excellent book that I ordered. "Guiding Your Catholic Preschooler" by Kathy Pierce and Lori Rowland. SO GOOD. I realized within the first chapter that, thus far, I have been a complete slacker-parent. Sure, I was saying mealtime prayers with the kids, reciting at least one of the prayers in the rosary every day or so, putting crosses and pictures of Jesus in the house, and taking the kids to Mass every Sunday. But all of this is not enough. First of all, somewhere in the fog of just trying to keep the kids alive and crossing my fingers that they'll be polite adults, I forgot that there actually was a PURPOSE. God has a purpose for them to go through adolescence and for me to muddle my way through helping them to reach Him. A purpose for choosing ME to be their mom. Children are like sponges. My job is to lay down my life for them, to be an example by the way that I dress, speak, pray, eat, worship, and learn. Their jobs? To listen and learn. I have been afraid that they were too young for this or that, or that we might alienate some people if we completely dedicate ourselves to the service of others and God. God first, family second, everything else after that. God will always help me to teach and guide my children, His children. The rebel within me doesn't want it to have to so much be work! I guess Jesus did warn us that following Him would not be easy.

Speaking of rebels....our anniversary is in 6 days. Our 6 year wedding anniversary to be exact. And our gift to each other? A new camera!! One that actually takes the picture when you click the button! Not 3 or 4 seconds afterwards! Imagine. It is so nice. It's a Canon Rebel XT with EIGHT MEGAPIXELS!!!! Whoa. We thought we'd have fun with it tonight after I got home. We put it on "sport mode" and it took three pictures in one second. One second. ONE SECOND. Thank you, Steven. I love you!! Photos are what helps us to remember our pasts and I cannot wait to start documenting the kids' pasts.