Hiatus.

Wow. That was such a nice break. Not one entirely without guilt, mind you, but nice nonetheless. I checked my favorite peoples' blogs everyday, just didn't quite require the same posting effort of myself. Ahh....to let one's self off the hook.

We have really enjoyed a wonderful holiday season. It's not quite over yet, but as we are drawing near the epiphany I keep thinking and reflecting. I keep thinking about all the new things we did this year. Our little family started some pretty neat traditions and we also got to include some old ones, passed down from our parents and grandparents as well. Tradition is such a beautiful thing isn't it?

Advent was a hit and the kids had a lot of fun. I never really realized before just how important it is to really make the effort to bring tradition and spirituality to their level. To make faith come alive. To make Christ's Peace come alive for them. That is our JOB as parents. If we don't do that for them, who are we to complain when they're questioning the existence of God at the age of 15? Steve and I can't ever be too lazy to be our family's leaders. Even when it's hard. Even when we're tired and discouraged. Even when I am pregnant and overwhelmed. Even when every secular thing around us is saying that the way we're doing it is "crazy", "over the top" or "rigid".

Christmas was beautiful. Despite our entire family being taken down with a nasty case of the flu right in the middle of it all. We tried to keep our spirits up ( I must admit, I faltered a time or two with the whole high spirit thing) and we really tried to keep the focus where it should be. It's funny, even with limiting the gifts to three outside gifts a piece, our kids still have WAY too many toys. We had to go to a Superstore yesterday and buy huge plastic bins just to store everything! We baked, we laughed, we sang, we drove to Noni's house for the weekend and rode on a Horse Drawn carriage in the snow. We played lots of games, we went to Mass, we watched the story of St. Nicholas, we sang happy birthday to Jesus and put him in the manger, we gave gifts, received gifts, and built snow forts. We created really cherished family traditions and memories. I really think it's just going to keep getting better every year.

Along with my children, I learned a few things this season as well. My expectations of myself are too high in a few areas of my life. In others, they aren't high enough. So, my resolution? To let go. I am going to let go ( well pray like crazy and ask for help, because left to my own accord...) of those things which are entirely out of my control and just cause me pain and frustration. I am also going to sit down with Steve tonight ( his idea) and make goals in 7 areas of our lives. Things we'd like to change, but specifically, for me, things I'd like to be better at or to learn. I have been excusing my lack of dedication in certain areas by the fact that I have three+ children, or I volunteer, or I'm tired at the end of the day, or....you get the idea.

One area of renewed dedication; I LOVE Curves. Every woman on the face of the earth should go to Curves. (I promise, I'm not being paid to say that.) Although, I am really feeling like three times a week isn't enough. Anyone have any experience with that? Steve started going to a different gym and we are alternating every other morning.This is another way we realize we need to be leaders of our family. If they don't see us wanting to taking of ourselves every day, why will they?

On hiatus no more, people. Hiatus no more.

" And suddenly

there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: 'Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.'" Luke 2:13-14

Thank you, Lord, for bringing us the Saviour who is Messiah. He is the reason. His glory shineth around us.

May God bless you all this Christmas and pull you close to Him, letting you rest in His perfect arms.

Merry Christmas.

March no more.

" I love you SO much."

That's what Ella leaned in to say to Paxton as they were playing a game together on the computer tonight. So, maybe my efforts to foster strong emotional connections haven't completely failed. Or, maybe she just wanted to get as close to him as she could so she could snatch the mouse out of his hand without any warning. Either way, I'll take it. Either way, Paxton got to hear "I love you" tonight from someone who's usually telling him he can't be her best friend anymore. Progress. We're making progress.

This last week of Advent activites has been really nice. It's mostly been discussions which, while daunting at first, are really painless now. The kids really seem to be able to close their eyes and imagine the picture we are creating with words, to put themselves in those shoes and to summon compassion. I am really loving our talks at the dinner table with the Advent candles glowing, lighting up their eyes.

We've talked about the wise men and their gifts. About what gifts we can give Jesus. We've talked about it being better to be rich in who we are than in what we have. To be rich in blessings and to have real treasures. We've talked about heavenly treasures and how they are much different than earthy ones.

And tonight? The world's best Gift. 2 Corinthians 9:15. "Let us thank God for His priceless gift". There is not enough money in the world to replace a priceless gift. What makes Jesus our priceless gift from God?

I am finding myself more and more excited about Christmas and this upcoming weekend spent with family; relaxing, playing and laughing by the fire. I am letting go of all the stress of the last three weeks. I decided that my childrens' December birthdays will never be blown over or rushed through. They will always have their own birthday celebrations, with no Santa Claus anywhere in sight. In order to accomplish this goal? I'll be starting to plan for their birthdays in September. Okay, that's a little ridiculous, but at least by November. Less stress for Mommy, more fun for the whole family!

Oh, and one more thing. Steve and I are never having sex in March again.

Nutthouse? Anyone? No? Just me?

Two birthday's down. One to go.

I have been to Spokane and back, we're off to Paxton's Christmas play tonight, Dad's birthday lunch and volunteer work tomorrow, then off to Spokane for the weekend.

I keep having this huge expectation of myself this time of year. It's been eating at me that I STILL haven't posted pictures of Ella's birthday, talked about it, posted pictures of Shepherd's birthday, talked about that, or posted any pictures of our Advent projects. I have to let it go. When I get to it, I'll get to it. Right? Until then....I'll just keep beating myself up that I can't seem to pull everything together enough to at least appear organized.

We are still doing our nightly Advent projects. We are still doing family activities and trying our darndest to relax and enjoy the season as much as we can. I am trying to stay as relaxed and upbeat as possible. The thing is, I have just seemed to have lost my "filter" as of late. You know, that filter than enables one to tolerate peoples' bullsh*t? My filter is totally busted right now. Does that have anything to do with pregnancy? With holidays and mingling different families? With feeling like crud in general for a good half of the day?

My mom, who's a therapist, says this is her busiest time of year. Hmmm....I can't imagine why.

..and a Penguin cake in a pear tree.

Penguin cake made. Check.

Advent activity to light a candle in a dark room and show the kids just how much Jesus being in our lives can help us out, help us to see in darkness. Check.

Video camera battery charging for hours and hours of taping fun for a certain sweet boy's 1st birthday party. Check.

Worked out for my very first time at Curves this morning. Check. Loved it. Check.

Made an attempt to go to confession tonight. Check. ( It's insane the amount of people that seem to feel unclean ALL at the same time. There were like 20 people waiting in line! I didn't have a chance.) Next week. Check.

In bed by 10:00pm. Check.

Forgive me?

Okay, so apparently when I say "later today" what that translates to is "anytime within the next 90 hours". Heads up.

Our Advent activities seem to be more discussions lately. We have had to stretch ourselves as parents to try to finesse the wording and illicit contemplation from a 3 and 4 year old. Not an easy task.

Day 9: Jesus loves little children and says His kingdom belongs to them and those who believe like them. Matthew 19:14.
We were suppose to look at baby pictures of ourselves and Thank God for letting us always come to Him like children can come to their parents.

Day 10: Make way, you in the desert! Raise all the valleys; level all the mountains; smooth out the rough and rugged places. Make a highway-the Lord is coming! Isaiah 40:3-5. We talked about things in our lives that might be rough and rugged and in need of Gods smoothing out. Paxton suggested bathwater. Ella suggested her hair.

Day 11: Years before Jesus was born, Isaiah, a prophet, gave us a picture: Jesus would be like a new banch growing out of an old stump. He would bear fruit: wisdom, understanding, knowledge, power, delight in God, goodness, and justice. Amazing things would come from Jesus because God's spirit was with Him. Isaih 11:1-5. Dear God, I know that I may never be perfect like Jesus, but please help me to be like a tree that bears good fruit. Task? To make an ornament shaped like your favorite fruit. Paxton's would be a strawberry and Ella's would be a blueberry. We need to get those made.

Day 12: "The Shepherd's Surprise" There were shepherds living out in their fields, keeping watch over their sheep at night. Luke 2:8. The shepherds were just doing their jobs. They had no idea of the great surprise that God had in store for them. What does God have in store for us? Thank You for surprising us with blessings, God! We are making a list of all the good things God has already given us. Snow, family, headache medicine, eggnog, etc...

Tonight, Day 13: God's Word is like a lamp that lights the path of our lives by showing us how to live in God's Truth. Psalm 119:105. Dear God, thank You for the Bible. Help us to grow in our love and understanding of Your Holy Word. Amen. We'll be playing with flashlights tonight and seeing how far they can light our way.

Whew. Have I really missed updating for 5 days?!

Shepherd's 1st birthday is on Tuesday, but we'll be having his party on Sunday. Better get crackin' on that cake! And tell you about Ella's party. And post pictures of Advent activities. Oh, how there are too few hours in my life.

reality checks.

I am busy today, making four batches of almond roca for various upcoming events. I am trying to make up for yesterday, which was a TOTAL wash, since my migraine permitted only small amounts of productivity here and there in between head rubs and vomiting. SO sad. Anyway, I am a whole new woman today and feeling like taking on the world!

While I was on my first batch of candy, I overheard this conversation:

Ella: Paxton! You can't have that!

Paxton: Yes I can! It's mine, Ella!

Ella: Well, then, I'm just not going to be your best friend anymore!

Paxton: You should get out of my room then.

Ella: But....but....why?

I had my volunteer shift yesterday. It seemed to drag on and on with my pounding headache. What with all the gagging while accepting and testing urine samples, I was really starting to feel sorry for myself. Then? Then, just as I am about to walk out the door to head home, flowers came. For me. Flowers for me. My beautiful husband had sent flowers to me. Just because. I was sort of speechless and then I felt like I should send them back. I haven't done ANYTHING to deserve flowers lately.

My reality check? That even when I am feeling sorry for myself, whining and the like, my best friend will still let me stay in his room and he'll even send me flowers because he can see that my behavior is a desperate plee for some nurturing.

Thank You, my beautiful Lord, for bringing this amazing man into my life. Thank You for humbling me and making me slow down, forcing me to appreciate my life, my blessings, and my precious family.


**an Advent activity update coming later today.

Humility.

Me: (after getting Paxton dressed and ready for Preschool, and then looking at the finished product..) Wow!

Paxton: Yeah, I know.

Helping Him with our Happiness.

This begins the second week of Advent. We are so anxious and excited for the coming of the Christ Child. I have been thinking about my attitude a lot lately. About how my attitude makes or breaks my experience, how I see others, how I see the world. I have been guilty, oftentimes, of waiting for feelings of charity, patience, and compassion to just wash over me like rain or influenza. It doesn't work like that. I am really aware of that, lately. Happiness is not about luck. All those wonderful feelings must be cultivated, tended to, sewn.

This is taken from a great book I am reading right now; 'People universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't, you will leak away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.'

So good. So appropriate for what our Advent topic and activity was tonight.

"If a child asks his parents for a fish, will they give him a snake? Of course not! If people, who are not perfect, know how to give good gifts to their children, won't God, who is perfect, do a much better job of giving good gifts to His children when they ask Him?" Matthew 17:10

We need to ask for happiness by asking God what HE wants for us. Only then will we really find happiness. He is the PERFECT gift giver, giving us things we may not understand, want, or feel like we need. He knows. He loves us with a perfect love. His desire for our happiness is infinitely greater than we can even fathom.

I was born with dark hair, dark eyes, deep and easy laughter, drool filled slumber, long fingers, child bearing hips, and a stubborn stong will for a reason. God knew what he was doing. He always does. Now? Now these child bearing hips hold babies all day long, these long fingers fit perfecly intertwined with my husband's on quiet drives home, and this strong will keeps me from quitting when everything in my body wants to. God gave me gifts that I didn't ask for, that sometimes I don't even want. But always, always I can know that He has a plan for my happiness, for all of ours, that is greater than we can know.

We just can't ever stop doing the work, taking Him for granted.

Reason for the Season

Day 6: Jesus said, "Look at the birds-they don't buy or make their food and they don't store it anywhere. God is the one who takes care of them. You are even more valuable to God than the birds." Luke 12:24

Lesson learned? Do not be afraid of losing anything and do not be bound by earthly possessions. Thank you God, for always taking care of our needs when we trust in You. Amen.

We made a feast for the birds! We dipped pinecones in peanut butter and than rolled them in birdseed. We hung 5 of them throughout our yard for the birds to enjoy.

Day 7: Tonight we talked about Psalm 127:2. God grants His loved ones sleep. The Bible tells us that God never sleeps. Tonight, when we put the kids to bed, we'll thank Him for keeping watch and protecting us while we sleep.

We had a nice day today. Daddy and Paxton had a "Boy's Morning" and then came home and put lights on the house. Ella helped me do a little cooking and baking and Shepherd crawled around, getting into anything he thought looked fun. We watched the space shuttle launch as a family tonight and the kids LOVED it. It is pretty amazing isn't it? We are able to go into OUTER SPACE.

Steve and I are having a date after the kids go to bed. We're watching a movie and sitting on the couch, side by side. It seems that with all the hustle and bustle of this season and the activity that surrounds us, we are left at the end of the day looking at each other saying, "Hey, who are you? When did you get here?"

Tonight I'd like to look at him and say, "Hey, there you are! I've missed you."

Family days.

Thank you, Melissa, for sharing one of the most beautiful photos I have seen in quite a while.

This is a very special day. The day we get to celebrate when the Virgin Mary herself was conceived without sin, temptation, or spiritual turmoil. She was, quite arguably, the most perfect human being that ever lived. Wouldn't you choose her to give birth to your Son if you knew He was going to be the SAVIOR OF THE WORLD?

"For he has looked upon his handmaid's lowliness; behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed." Luke 1:48 (also part of the Canticle of Mary)

Mass was lovely today and the kids, for the most part, were well behaved. On Holy Days of Obligation we usually attend Mass in the school gym, since that 9:00am time seems to work the best for our family (7:00 is just a little too close to bedtime). We usually spring Paxton from his Preschool room and we all walk down the hall together for Mass. It's nice that some of the other parents do that too. I think the Preschoolers get an idea about what an important day this must be, if they get to be picked up by their whole family and hang in the gym together!

Our priest has been teaching the kids latin. Since he took over this parish, about six months ago, he has done wonderful things with the school. He is a former teacher himself and latin tradition enthusiast. All the kids in this little school now know the Lord's Prayer, the Hail Mary, and the Emmanuel in latin. It is the most beautiful thing to see a 6 year old saying the Hail Mary in latin. I wish my mind were spongy like theirs! It's a bit more like a pumice stone now, especially since pregnancy brain is in full swing. So far today, I have spilled a glass of milk, hit my head on the garbage can lid (don't ask), tripped over a blanket that was in plain sight, and hit my head again on the cupboard in the bathroom.

I will post later about our advent activities. These are really neat to do together. I just wish they didn't involve so much glue. It's so....sticky.

I WILL post pictures. I promise. It is not empty. I mean this. I will post them.

Friday nights are movie and pizza nights and I CAN"T WAIT. Mommy's ready for a teeny break.

Priorities.

Me: Ouch. My hip really hurts today.

Paxton: Oh no, Mom! Are you still going to be able to dance?

Oh, my sweet boy, always. I will always dance with you.

The Leaving.

Oh, dear. It has already happened. It has already come to that point when my mom leaves, after having been here a few days and I have to sit and think. I think about how much she does when she's here, about how much my children adore her and love playing with her, listening to her read, listening to her sing silly, impromptu songs throughout the house. I think about how much I DON'T do when she's here because I'm just that comfortable. She did laundry, washed, dusted and organized.

My mom and I always make it a point to set aside time to argue about at least one thing, as well, while she's here. We just want to be as productive as we can. Nothing in particular, but just one thing. We get it out of the way and then we move on, having hashed, rehashed and "heard" each other. I think another thiry years of this and we will have finally resolved every issue we've ever had.

Now that I don't have a Noni to distract I have to pull other tricks out of my hat. The kids are now each having "bedroom time" so I can get a few things done before dinner and this evening's Advent activities.

Last night's Advent activity was to go outside and enjoy the night sky. Daddy bundled the kids up and they lasted about five minutes and found 2 stars. The focus was on Psalm 148:3,5 "Praise Him, sun and moon! Praise Him, all you shining stars! God commanded, and there you are!" Dear God, thank you for being the light of the world. Amen.

Tonight we are going to read Psalm 8:3-4, " I am overwhelmed when I look up at the heavens and see the stars Your hands have made. It is amazing that You even think about me!" Dear God, Your world is so big and I am so small. Yet, You know me and give me everything I need. I may not always understand it, but I am grateful. Amen.

We'll make a star ornament for the tree tonight. And, yes, the pictures are coming. I promise. Just as soon as Steve gets around to it.

I went to my volunteer shift today, like all Wednesdays. Mom stayed with the kids, picked Paxton up from Preschool, took the kids to McDonald's, brought them home, colored, read, gave naps and finished more laundry. Usually I take the kids with me and we are rushing and I'm "shushing" all day long. Today, I came home to a beautiful house and happy children, much different than the exhausted, crankiness that usually follows a day when Mommy "works". It was so wonderful.

What am I going to miss the most about Noni? Wicked games of gin after the kids go to bed, too much laughter, and plenty of sarcasm to get me through until the next time we meet again. Thank you, Mom, for getting me. Thank you, Mom, for your beautiful sense of humor, for rarely taking yourself too seriously, for lightening my crankiness with a wink and a colorful remark, reminding me that I am taking myself WAY too seriously. Thank you for loving my husband as your own son, for talking to him, laughing with him, teasing him, and folding his underwear. Thank you for making the effort. All the time. Even if it means we're going to fight sometimes. I love that about you. Fearless communication. Advice, complements and strategies. Thank you for those priceless, beautiful gifts.

What my kids are going to miss the most about Noni? Baths with lots of bubbles and laughter, singing and dancing in the middle of the floor, or snuggling slumber parties and story telling. Hard to say which makes the biggest impression. One thing is for sure, though. After Noni leaves we are all changed just a little more. And we thank her for her influence.

Now, if we could just get her to stop having surgeries and such lengthy recovery time, we wouldn't have to wait so long in between long visits. Although, my Nana always had a saying which she has passed on to my mother; "Guests are like fish: after three days they start to stink."

We love you, Mom. Even if you stink.

Advent activities update..

I told you I would post and let you in on our activities each night, as we celebrate the season of Advent together. Sorry I'm a day late. Please excuse my slackerdom.

For the first day of Advent, we talked about Luke 1:26-32, " God sent the angel Gabriel to a town called Nazareth...", and said a prayer thanking God for His special plan for Mary and for us, too. Then, we made an angel ornament for the Christmas tree. Steve, who has let me know how "non-crafty" I am (in the most loving way), had to show me up with not one, but two PERFECT ornaments.

Tonight's reading and discussion was from Matthew 2:6. "Out of you, little town of Bethlehem, will come the greatest of rulers, for He will be the Shepherd of all of God's people." We followed with a prayer thanking Jesus for being the Good Shepherd, and always taking care of all of our needs, keeping us safe and sound. We made a sheep ornament.

Steve thinks we should post some pictures. What do you think?

I am SO happy to be doing this for Advent this year. We made our own Advent wreath this year as well.

Noni is here for the next couple days and is so much fun to have around. She has been playing with the kids in ways that I never seem to find time to, doing laundry, dishes, and cleaning. She helped us decorate the tree and make our ornaments. Where does she get all this crazy energy? She did ask this evening, after our "Advent Craft Time", if it was bedtime yet. :)

Life is so blessed and I am really, really trying to take it one beautiful day at a time.

I am fully aware that I have yet to post about Ella's 3rd birthday. I am sorry. There is so much to tell and what with all the crimestopping I've been doing, I just haven't had time. It's coming. Soon. I promise. Really.

Vigilante by night. It's all in a day's work.

This month feels busier than any December that I can remember in past years. Why? What's different, you ask? Let me tell you.

It all started with Thanksgiving. That was busy. Now it's time to get ready for some pretty big birthdays, obviously JESUS' being the biggest. Ella will be 3 tomorrow. Shepherd will be 1 on the 19th. My dad will be 53 on the 20th. And Jesus will be....well, you get the idea. Advent, addressing Christmas cards, attending Christmas programs, cookie exchanges, Christmas shopping, holiday parties, and birthday parties. You know what? I wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.

What I am going to pray for help with? Just relaxing and taking one beautiful day at a time. Just relaxing. Just relaxing. Just relaxing. I am already feeling more relaxed. Ahh....that's better.

So, Ella's birthday is tomorrow. I asked her what sort of fun party she wanted. She informed me that she would like a Dora Princess party. Not Dora. Not Princess. A Dora Princess. So, I had Safeway help me cheat a bit by making a two tiered cake as a starter so that tomorrow morning, I can pretend that I know how to make a castle cake. We'll see how that one works out for me. Especially since, while pulling out of the Safeway parking lot I had to briefly take off my stay-at-home-mom hat and put on my Vigilante hat which, as you will read in a moment, wreaked a little havoc on our castle cake.

As I was walking into Safeway this evening I witnessed two men trying to steal a cart full of groceries, mostly what looked like beer and chips. I wouldn't have known that they were trying to steal if I hadn't witnessed the manager grabbing their cart while they were trying to walk away and telling them that they needed to get back inside. Now, mind you, it's about 12 degrees here with ice and snow on the ground everywhere. The manager had no coat on. The men had no coats on. But, as you might have guessed, they ran anyway. The manager tried to CHASE THEM. One of the thieves was a quite heavy Hispanic man. The other, a 17 year old skinny white guy. Interesting couple. More interesting, watching a very heavy person trying to run, quickly, on ice. Somehow though, they both got away. They should have stayed away. They were not smart.

As the manager was starting to chase after one of the men he yelled back at a young bagger girl to call the police. She was going in right as I was. She went up the counter and told them to call the police. They asked why. She said, " I have no idea". She didn't. But, I did. I yelled from about 20 feet way, " Because two men just tried to steal some groceries and are now on the run". Such high drama in this small town. Then, I continued on to the bakery to pick up the cake I had come for.

I paid. I walked to the van, noticing that the manager was now back standing outside on the curb. Just looking around. I am sure he was waiting for the police to come. I got in, handed the cake to Steve who was in the passenger's seat, and told him the little story. We turned out of the parking lot and headed home. Strange. I think I see one of the guys! Just walking along the sidewalk, TOWARDS Safeway. Yes! That's him! As far as I knew, the police still hadn't shown yet. So, I flip a u-turn. A dramatic, Dukes of hazard, sort of u-turn. Yeah, that's right, in the mini-van.

I speed past him so that I can turn into the parking lot and let the manager know he's coming. The guy was fast. While I was turning the van around to leave again, he snuck around me, got into his car and began spinning out, attempting to leave. The manager had caught up to him now. He tried to run the manager down with his car. A) This manager takes his job very seriously. B) This stupid criminal just upped the ante from a misdemeanor to a felony, vehicular assault. Whoa. It all unfolded right in front of us. I laid on the horn. And flashed my brights over and over trying to get the attention of any other passing vehicles. Out of nowhere, in Chuck Norris style, a big suped up truck with yellow flashers and a CB antenna pulls right in front of the criminal, blocking him in ( since I am right behind him) and jumps out of the car, yelling at the guy to stay in the car. Now Chuck Norris and the manager are yelling at him to stay in the car, trying to force his door closed. Steve throws the cake at me and tells me to stay here, these guys might need some help. Wow. It's exciting isn't it?

Finally, after we have him apprehended on our own, the police show up to finish the work, arrest him for trying to kill someone with his silver subaru, and take our statements. I even brought a lovely piece of paper home to fill out, noting as many details as I can recall of the events that transpired.

Oh, the cake. So, In that whole "tossing" commotion, the cake got a little...damaged. Nothing that a little Red #4 and some Dora figurines can't hide, I suppose. But, it'll be tricky. I am hoping my mom will get here early enough tomorrow to help me do some damage control. It was all in the name of justice though. One more dangerous grocery stealing criminal off the streets. Now I can sleep at night.

Ahh....it's all in a day's work.

Lesson learned? If you are going to commit a crime like that in the dead of winter, dress warmly and don't leave your car at the scene. If you do choose to leave your car at the scene, don't be a wimp. Wait it out. Don't come back for your car for at LEAST an hour. Silly, silly man.

Alrighty then.

Me: (As we are bundling the kids up for a very fun but very cold parade this evening) Ella, honey, you need to make sure you tell Mommy when you need to go potty.

Ella: I will, Mommy. I just don't think I have any potty in there. But keep your eye on me in case I go poop.

Ah, the joys of mothering a verbally colorful princess.

Another peanut.

We had our first ultrasound today. We got to see proof of life. Proof that there is in fact a beautiful and wonderful, perfectly made human being growing, wiggling, and living inside my body. Perfectly and wondrously made. God is amazing. The baby's tiny heart beat in perfect rhythm, strong and sure. While some technologies have enabled some pretty ghastly things to take place in our society, this is one time I am confident in saying that technology can be a beautiful thing. Steve and I watched, and watched, and watched.

You would think that this being our fourth child it would get old, blase´. No. Not in the least. It was just as amazing and beautiful this time. Maybe even more so. We didn't have to "try" with this baby like we did with our other three children. This baby was the best surprise gift we have ever received. Maybe that's what makes it feel even more like a gift from God. Do we ask for gifts? Do we "try" for gifts? Oh, goodness, how all of our children are gifts! But, I must say, it feels even MORE like a gift when it's just given to you. Just given. Thank you, God. We accept. Thankfully, willingly, lovingly, obediently, excitedly. Thank You for trusting us. We'll try to make You proud.

Immediately after our appointment with the midwife was over, Steve had to leave to catch a plane for San Jose. He'll be gone for another three+ days and the kids and I will be holding down the fort. I kissed him goodbye and watched him walk out the door of the clinic room in which I had my exam. For some reason I could not stop thinking about the pro-choice jargon, "It's my body!" I could not stop thinking about just how wrong they are. Don't they know? This tiny little person is anything but "my body". He or she has her own legs, his or her own arms, own heartbeat. That is no more my heart or my belly-button than Paxton's or Ella's or Shepherd's. There are two of us here. Two. That's not a choice. That is a person. Individual, amazing, and with it's own DNA.

I kept thinking about my husband. About how he never ceases to amaze me. About how lucky I am that he was as excited about adding another member into our beautiful family as I was. I kept thinking about all those fathers who have to hear, "It's my body. My choice." All of those fathers who are robbed of the ability to question, to have an "opinion" about a gift given them and then rejected by someone else. About a third person in the equation, their own child, who will never get to "matter". I am lucky. Oh, how lucky I am. My husband is a father. In every sense of the word. Beautiful leader, generous, patient, kind, thoughtful, and God loving. He trusts. I learn from him. I learn to relax. I learn to trust. I learn that I might not be and he might not be everything WE want to be, but we will always be who God wants us to be, as long as we trust and follow.

And in the end, who I want to be, who Steve wants to be, is the same as who God wants us to be. For right now, that's parents of four beautiful gifts.

Onward and upward.

Today has been a great, somewhat lazy day.

We just got back a little bit ago from a long hike with the kids. It is always so much fun to do that. I wish I were motivated to do it more often. I think it's that whole getting the kids bundled up part that intimidates me. After that, it's quite fun though. So, I need to just suck it up. If not for anyone else than for Steve, who is like a kid in a candy store when I'll agree to go on a nature hike.

This morning, Paxton, Ella and I got the tree up. We haven't decorated it yet since we have some fun activities planned for that throughout advent. We got the creche set up, sans the Holy Family. I am really going to have to remember where I hid them. I told the kids that Mary and Joseph will be there by Christmas Eve and that Baby Jesus will be there Christmas morning. Then we'll sing "Happy Birthday" and eat birthday coffee cake. That would be a real bummer if I lose the Holy Family. I better write myself a note.

We also did something fun and new this year. Yesterday, we bought a gingerbread house kit. The kids, Steve and I decorated it before naps. It was SO much fun. Initially I was fixated on it looking perfect. Then I realized that I had a 4 and 2 year old decorating with me. I snapped out of it and I just let them have fun. Ella kept choosing the tiniest pieces of candy to shove into the frosting so that all the frosting would ooze around it and onto her finger. So cute. Paxton loved the orange pieces. I think if he had his way, we would have had an orange gingerbread house with a splash of orange for accent.

I have been making turkey and brown rice soup in the crock pot all day and it is really starting to smell like winter around here. I absolutely love this season. I love the excitement, the chill in the air, the lights, the songs, the excuses to do fun and silly things as a family, sending out beautiful Christmas cards, going to Mass and seeing all the gorgeous colors in the sanctuary. I love it even more now that I have children. I get the first crack at forming what they understand this season to be. It isn't about presents. It isn't about what you get. It's about what we get to celebrate, what we get to give.

Steve and I decided last year to limit the kids' outside gifts to just three each. ( One from my dad, one from my mom, and one from Steve's parents). Obviously resembling the gifts of the wise men, we just thought each gift would have more meaning. I know that it's hard for our families. They have been respectful for the most part and I know that it will get easier with each passing year, especially since we'll likely have a few more children and those three gifts will add up quite quickly. With a big special gift from Santa, stockings filled by Santa, and one special gift from Mommy and Daddy, I really think they'll be okay. For further explanation see this post.

Shepherd and Ella both have birthdays coming up very soon. For Ella's first birthday, Mom, Steve's mom and I made an adorable snowman cake. This year, for Shepherd's first birthday, and I am feeling inspired by The March of The Penguins. :) Ella has requested a pricess birthdy party with a Dora cake. I am trying to figure out if I'm good enough to do one myself. Stay tuned...

Thankful Thanksgiving Thursday.

I am Thankful for our beautiful family. My children who have made me grow and will continue to do so until I die. I am thankful for my husband who makes me grow and has been willing to grow so much himself. I am thankful for a marriage that makes God the center of it, for children who know that God's perfect love is enough but who seem to let us attempt that level just the same, who let us kiss their boo-boo's, hold their hands, snuggle in bed with them, tickle them, read to them, discipline them, correct them, train them, and make mistakes with them. They seem to love us anyway. I am thankful for that.

I am thankful for parents who try. Parents who try to be better, try to change all the time. Parents who are unwilling to say, "what you see is what you get". Instead, they say "how can I be better?" Parents of crying infants, tantruming toddlers, inquisitive children, angry teenagers, and independent adults. I am thankful for all you parents who try, who stretch yourselves over and over again. I am thankful for my parents. I am thankful for Steve's parents. I am thankful for their parents.

I am thankful to the most forgiving Lord that I get the pleasure to love and ask for help every day. I am thankful for His guidance, His wisdom, His providence, His leadership, and His strength. I am thankful to His beautiful Mother for being the perfect example of what it means to just shut up and say "yes". Of what it means to be a wife who is willing to be supportive and get on the back of a donkey when she's NINE MONTHS pregnant and ride in the freezing cold for hours because she was just willing to trust. I am thankful for the example and the self sacrifice for a greater good.

I am thankful for food in the kitchen, a warm bed, clothing for my children, education, animals, trees, transportation, and the magic of the holidays and the miracles of christmastime.

I am also thankful for a certain political party who, it has just come to my attention, give four times as much as their opponents. They give four times more money, more time, and more donations. They even give more blood. Thank you, fellow Americans. I am thankful for democracy.

I am thankful for today. Today is one more day I get to spend loving my children and Steve with an imperfect love, but an intense love nonetheless. One more day I get to wake up and look at sunshine, feel excitement, joy, anxiety, and exhaustion. All are feelings which I don't take for granted because they mean I am alive and I am apart of something greater than me.

Update.

So, the prep work I have done today is beyond expectation. I am so happy to have most all of it done already.

Already finished and to be thrown in the oven for heating tomorrow: Pesto and artichoke baked brie in puffed pastry, balsamic marinated bacon wrapped shrimp, stuffing, homemade cranberry chutney, mashed potato casserole, sauteed sweet potatoes with roasted pecans and brown sugar glaze, Roasted vegetables with sharp cheddar peppered Dijon sauce, and pumpkin flan. Oh, yeah. The turkey. I have to be honest here and say that the turkey is my LEAST favorite part of Thanksgiving. What gives? It's just so....poultryesque.

I even managed to stop three different times and read stories about the first Thanksgiving with the kids.

Oh, and my biggest accomplishment of my only half-over day? I haven't yelled ONCE.

Thank you. Thank you. No applause please.

I said, stop it!

Sparked by a recent post by an awesome blogger, my new resolution is to stop yelling. I am not expecting 100% perfect adherence, but I am going to make a concerted effort ALL DAY LONG.

With a stubborn and precocious two year old, over excited and hypersensitive four year old, and a baby who whines from 3-5pm, I have my work cut out for me....in vivid color.

Here goes nothing...

Here we go!

We are showing our house to some prospective buyers tomorrow. Is it too late to paint? Seriously. We are going to do some painting tonight. That's how we roll. Let's just say a small prayer that we are able to rid the house of too many paint smells. Ew.

I am cooking Thanksgiving dinner at my house this year. I decided that, in an effort to thwart any and all vomiting while we have guests here, I am going to do as much prep work as I can ahead of time. Good idea? I think so. Frankly, the thought of the blended smells of turkey, pumpkin, garlic, cranberries, rosemary, and broccoli conjures lamentations of a violent vomiting episode. Whoa. I better stop writing about food.

I have successfully figured out that the more tired I am, the worse the heaving is in the morning. If I can be sure to get a good nights rest, I can be feeling good enough to eat something by 9 or so. After going to a football game on Saturday and being out way too late, I couldn't eat a thing until about 2:30. I did take the Eucharist at Mass, thinking that if anything would heal me, that'd do it. Our priest leaned in, gave me the host, and whispered, " God bless you, Nicole". I cried. I know I'm hormonal but, come on, how beautiful was that?

The sweetest thing I heard yesterday was from Paxton. "Mommy, I'm excited to go to Jesus' house!" (And I don't mind admitting that, in my head, I was patting myself on the back all the way to the car.)

Clarification

Regarding yesterday's post; my intention was for you to read the post and then to further read about 20 or so of the replies to the post, mainly to get an idea of what people were saying about the differences between Quiverfull and NFP.

Sorry for making you think that Steve and I were on board with the idea of not having any sort of awareness of our bodies. Yikes. I think that's why God gave us "cycles" and tangible signs of fertility. He wants us to be good stewards of the gifts which He gives, in every area.

As a good blogger friend of mine said, "God's will wins out every time". Our lives and our family size will be exactly what it should be, as long as we are open to what God wants for and expects from us.

I just wanted to see what you folks thought as well.

Quiverfull vs. NFP

Amy's post was just too good not to link to today. This is a highly (unnecessarily) controversial topic.

Where do you think Steve and I stand?

Thankful Thursdays

First, thank you Melissa for inspiring this.

Oftentimes it's hard to remind myself to really stop and thank God for His providence. For His undying love for me and my family, our marriage. For Team Prentice. I don't even have to think for a second about how we are blessed because it's just so evident.

I am thankful for my four miracles, three with names so far. I am thankful for an amazing husband who, to copy Melissa's sentiment, I don't deserve. I am thankful for some incredibly deep, supportive, enriching friendships. Women-friendships and especially couple-friendships. I am thankful for newfound blogger friends, who I have more in common with than anyone I know.

I can recall one night, while lying in bed, Steve and I both crying, praying that God please just fill our lives with some couple friends who He knew would help us along the path to which He was calling us. He did. And now we have trouble spending enough time with ALL of them.

I am thankful for parents, grandparents, and pets. I am thankful for Fall, Winter coats and mittens, and heat. I am thankful for books, sleeping babies, and tea.

I am thankful that I get to be home and watch my life unfold before my eyes. Children grow, houses change, and marriages grow stronger. And that's just what we can see. God is so good. His providence is amazing. What more could He have in store?

Finally, a reason.

Steve is in Seattle again for a few days. I am here. I am a teeny bit scared. No, not of handling the kids by myself. I am scared that they might need to eat before 11am. I am highly tempted to have a veritable smorgasbord laid out all over our dining room table, of non-perishable snack foods, full of transfats and completely devoid of any nutritional value. Ah....a girl can dream.

So, I think I will be gagging my way through breakfast preparation over the next couple days.

Paxton has preschool today and then I am off to volunteer for a few hours. Grammy is meeting me there and taking the kids out to lunch. That will be SO nice. We are getting ready to move our office into a new building and I am sure there will be permanent markers, tape, scissors and big boxes everywhere. That would spell WAY too much fun for little hands trying to "help" Mommy.

In other news, Shepherd is aggressively cutting his top two teeth. They are almost in. Maybe one more day. In the meantime, he seems to be enjoying biting everything .....and everybody. Hard.

How does one go about stopping an 11 month old from biting? An old pediatrician my parents used to see when we were little would say, "just bite him back.". Um, I think, for today, I'll just let that little gem of wisdom pass me by. That could explain SO much about why I have poor math skills and have a tendency to be controlling. My parents probably bit me.*




*probably not, but it sure makes for a good excuse for any and all dysfunction doesn't it?

Ideas?

Anyone have any ideas what to do with a 4 1/2 year old suffering ennui, having given up naps six months ago? I can only let him play with knives for so long.

Please keep in mind when offering suggestions that EVERYONE else in the house, except Daddy, is trying to nap. :)

Bring it on.

The sickness has officially hit. It has been progressing for a few days now but this morning was when I knew for sure that it was here.

I was reading a news site. One of the stories titled, "Burger King Manager Shoots Teen" sent me running to the toilet. Just looking at the words Burger King. That was enough. Smells always get me. But, sometimes it seems just the word has the power to conjure a smell.

I haven't worn perfume since 2001. I still can't think about a twinkie without gagging (bad experience in 5th grade). So...I think it's psychological for me. Yes, that's what it is. I am a tiny bit crazy. It's all in my head. I should just snap out of it!

In the mean time, Steve and the kids are on their own for breakfast for a while. Steve asked me this morning to buy some "good cereal". Apparently, the kids weren't really digging my Fiber One and Shredded Wheat options. We've never really been a cereal family but, I think with pregnancy #4 we might have to become one.

Vomiting from hormones indicating an actively growing, healthy baby? Bring it on.

Spain.

We were invited to some friends' house tonight for some tapas. Yum. I made flan because, really, what would go better with tapas?

It will feel SO good to get out with some big people--other couples. Adult conversation, laughter and maybe even a card game or two. This tired couple has needed friend time.

...or a trip to Spain. Ahh....someday. We'll just settle for tapas tonight.

Lazy days

Daddy is gone today. He had to be in Seattle all day to work. So, naturally, the kids and I are still in our pajamas. We have played, watched Cars (the best movie ever!), and made sandwiches together. I have no plans for us to move from our pajamas to regular clothes ANY time soon. That's just the way it is.

Don't be misled. It's not really just because Steve is gone that we are living like this. Although, it does make it even more justifiable. No, we are in our pajamas because we have been since Saturday night, after the auction. With the exception of getting dressed for Mass on Sunday and my volunteer work yesterday, we have not even been out. We're not sick. We're not tired. We're just.....relaxing. I should clarify that Paxton has been getting dressed for Preschool. That seemed important.

I haven't done it in about three months. I'm doing it now. This post auction and election relaxation feels pretty darn nice.

The auction went SO well. My mother created a gorgeous charcoal drawing of our Queen of Peace that fetched $1,700. Steve's mom made a beautiful Noah's Ark quilt using the 4-year old preschoolers handprints to create the animals which also fetched $1,700. Our Mediterranean dinner went twice for $1,800. So, all in all, Team Prentice and family did pretty well for this little school. The decorations turned out really well and a lot of people commented that it was much more elegant this year than in years past. It was a ton of work, I learned a lot about myself, I am glad I have that experience under my belt, and I can now say with complete certainty, I am never doing it again. My parents used to use the saying, "there are too many chiefs and not enough Indians". I don't think I need to expand.

I am disappointed, to say the least, in South Dakota. Not shocked, but disappointed. I really am. I was really thinking something else might happen there. I am really trying to stay upbeat and be grateful that an abortion ban was even ON the ballot. Baby steps. Pun completely intended.

In my laziness this week I also finished my Uncle Jim's new book. It's amazing. I HIGHLY recommend it. Fair Play: The Moral Dilemmas of Spying. Buy it. Check it out. Read it. (Melissa, I bet Darren would LOVE this book). His full name is James M. Olson. He's the former Chief of CIA Counterintelligence and is a current professor at George Bush School of Government and Public Service at Texas A&M University. He collaborates with some pretty amazing sources in this book and talks about real life experiences that he had while in the field. I am so proud of him and proud to know and love him. He embodies the true meaning of patriotism.

Does anyone find that the more times you are pregnant, the more you forget what's supposed to be happening at different points or even how far along you are? When I was pregnant with Paxton, every day felt like an eternity waiting for this new, beautiful someone to enter our lives. This time around? I am finding myself wishing I could just be pregnant a few more months. There is so much to do and so little time!

Now I think it's time to go make some cookies. In our pajamas.

South Dakota.

Please, please, please stop what you are doing a few times throughout the day today. Stop and say a prayer for South Dakota and their elections.

God willing, this could change the course of history.

(More about the auction later. It was a huge success and I feel so good about it.)

Death and tax write-offs. The only sure things.

Okay. The auction that we have been working feverishly on is just two days away. My precious family has sacrificed SO much time with me in the last two weeks. It is crunch time. I will let you know how it turns out. God willing, it will be a huge success and all will attend feeling inspired to give.

Who are you praying for today, this All Souls Day?

Those on my list? My brother, grandpa, nana, great grandmas, great uncle, and Steve's grandma. May Christ's Peace comfort them and bring them home. May they enter into the gates having fulfilled their respective missions, those chosen spefically for them by Our Father. May we be aspiring to do the same this very moment here on earth. Life on earth is so short compared to eternity. As one of my favorite priests says, "We're all terminal". Are we doing everything we can to prepare?

Fundraisers and death. I am not sure of the parallel yet, but stay tuned.

Fun flavors.

How do you know when you're pregnant?

Your peanut butter toast has the after-taste of sushi nori.

Okay....

How sad is it that the only decent picture I have of myself is of about seven months ago? Man, I hate having my picture taken!

So, do I look like a 'Nicole'? Cuz that's what I am. A 'Nicole'.

Nicknames that have been given me by various family members: "Colie", "Coleslaw", "Missy", "Slaw" and "Dano"(what Steve calls me when he's upset with me. It's my maiden name. Yeah, don't think for a second that there was ANY coach in Junior High or High School that didn't LOVE the phrase "Book em' Dano!" I'm not even old enough to be familiar with that show!)

Now, if you'll please just stick with Headstrong or HWWTMBW. It's SO much more mysterious and, frankly, I could use a little mystery.

I live in a house where 'full disclosure' is commonplace. The kind of 'full disclosure' where, at Mass, when the priest asks my daughter in front of the whole parish if she prays to God regularly she replies with, "Um, I have Dora sunglasses!" and then she runs back to the pew and loudly proclaims (about four times), "Dad, I have to go poop!" The kind of 'full disclosure' where my son sadly says to my husband, "Dad, I just wish I had a vagina like Ella" and my husband replies with, "No, Paxton, you don't. They're way too much maintenence."

My name is Nicole and this is my life.

Prepare for the outing.

So....I have inadvertently created mystery. I never really intended to. It just happened. I am an enigma. Complex and deep. Okay, not really. I just never put my name into my profile.

Anyway, it has come to my attention that only a few of you know my real name. So, I thought we'd do something fun. I'm going to let you guess. What do YOU think my name is?


Happy guessing!

Playing fair.

Since discovering three days ago that Team Prentice will be adding a new member (YAY!!!) we have had a ton of positive remarks, well wishes, and congratulations.

There are those few select people however who choose to...eh hem....rain on our procreational parade.

"What?!" "How is that even possible?!" "How many kids are you going to have?!" "How can you afford all those kids?". I am sure you're familiar enough with questions like these, so I'll spare you any more.

This makes me wonder. It makes me wonder what it is exactly that people think children 'need'. I think I have summed up a short list of general 'needs' that MANY people think children have, with whom, for the most part, I disagree wholeheartedly.

Children need: lots of toys, lots of new clothes (not those disgusting hand-me-downs), Disneyland, McDonalds, video games, plenty of time to just play and not be bothered with learning manners, helping mom and dad, or taking care of their things.

When they're older, children need: a new car, immediately after getting their license, plenty of time to just play and not be bothered with practicing good manners, helping their parents, or taking care of their things. They need video games, lots of new clothes, and their own room. They always need to have their own room and, frankly, to make a child 'share' a room is almost enough reason to call CPS. Children definitely need their entire education paid for so they don't have to be bothered--even if they want to go to medical school. Really. God forbid they have student loans, aka a beautiful reminder every day that the privilege of an education isn't free and is totally worth working for.

So, in the most loving and non-judgmental way that I can, I am going to tell you a little about our philosophy.

Having children and having money should never HAVE to go hand in hand. Period. Our children love rolling around in grass just as much as they love rolling around in the ball-pit at IKEA. Our children love helping me make homemade cookies with ingredients we already have just as much as they love special trips to Starbucks for a chocolate chunk cookie. Our children look so forward to birthdays mostly for all the singing, clapping and cake. The presents are a bonus. How many they get doesn't matter at all. Our children love listening to books on tape from the library and sitting in our laps while we read to them just as much as they love playing games on the computer and watching movies. Our boys are so adorable when they wake up together and happy, after having just slept in the SAME ROOM. Shepherd looks at Paxton through the slats of his crib and sees love. He sees his beautiful and gentle brother looking back at him from his little twin bed, just four feet away. It is precious and it's a little thing we like to call 'sharing'.

Our children love our unglamorous white mini-van with fishy crackers shoved down in the seatbelt cracks just as much as they love Noni's Mercedes, Popi's Infinity, and Grandma and Grandma's farm toys like the Toro Twister and big tractor. They don't 'need' flash. A car is a car, heated seats or not.

I posted a month or so ago about what I wanted for my children. I understand some parents' fear. I really do. They can't even imagine what they would do without all the stuff to which they have become accustomed. They are so scared about what it would do to their children if they didn't have a trampoline, a dvd player in their room, or trips to Disneyland at least once every three years. They are scared because that's what they grew up with. That's what their parents gave them. How could any child have a happy childhood with any less?

Our children need us. Our children need God. Our children need structure, time to play, time to learn, and time to grow. They need to be able to learn from their mistakes, to not take each other for granted and to stand up for those who are weaker than they. Our children need love, a mom and dad who love each other and make time for each other. Our children need parents who aren't afraid to tackle problems head-on, and who talk to them when there's a problem. Our children need sit-down, homecooked meals. Our children need to be read to, listened to, and tended to. Our children need to know that they are a part of a team. A team goes nowhere with only one player. It just can't. All players must work together and look out for each other, else the team will not succeed. We don't have to always win. Not at all. Sometimes we will, in fact, fail. But we do have to play fair.

And learning how to play fair has nothing to do with iPods, cell phones, or Abercrombie and Fitch.

I should have known.

I should have read the Magnificat this morning. I should have read Psalm 145 and the reflection before it. I should have thought to do it right after I got on my knees and thanked God for His amazing Providence, for His beautiful gift to this family, yet again.

Here is what it said:

"It's a common mistake to think that God's 'works' and 'mighty deeds' are told only in Scripture. Every person's life is God's work of art, an expression of His creative love, His goodness, His compassion. A little thought can personalize this psalm for everyone who prays it."

I will give you glory, O God my King,
I will bless your name for ever.

I will bless you day after day
and praise your name for ever.
The Lord is great, highly to be praised,
His greatness cannot be measured.

Age to age shall proclaim Your works,
shall declare Your mighty deeds,
shall speak of Your splendor and Glory,
tell the tale of Your wonderful works.

......

Let me speak the praise of the Lord,
let all mankind bless His Holy Name
for ever, for ages unending.

Glory to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.

Regarding Random Fact #3

Apparently, that IS what God wanted for us.

And he wanted it right now.

Go Team Prentice!

Ten Random Facts Meme

I was tagged by Melissa for this fun little diddy.

1) I hate fruit on meat. Any fruit. Any meat. They are NEVER meant to go together.

2)I NEVER do it, but I know how to crochet.

3)I want a lot more children. I hope that's what God wants for me too.

4)Before choosing Psychology, I was a Pre-Med major. WAY too much schooling and chemistry and math. Imagine that.

5)Steve and I use a secret hand code when we are at a function and we want the other to know that we are ready to leave.

6)I am painfully uncomfortable with unresolved confict. It affects my sleep, my appetite, and my attention span.

7)I never took the SAT's. (I took the ACT)

8) I can't rollerblade, iceskate, or slalom ski. Are you noticing a pattern?

9) I can't sleep on my stomach. I can't sleep on my back. I can't sleep on my left side. I use three pillows when I sleep. And I drool.

10) If I wear color, I feel like an Easter Egg.

"Oh, okay."

Ella: (whimpering and rubbing her elbow)

Me: Oh, honey, what happened?

Ella: **Sob** I just fell!

Me: What happened?

Ella: I was just looking down at my feet, because they are beautiful, and then I fell!

Me: Oh, (trying to hold in laughter) okay, are you okay now?

Ella: *sniff, sniff* Yeah.


Instilling humility. One day at a time.

Slow on the uptake.

Steve just gave me a lesson on 'linking'. It was good. Well, he was good. I was a little slow on the uptake. So...here's my first attempt.

Check out this kickin' pumpkin carving (which was also on Danielle Bean's blog). This one is my favorite!

Woohoo! It worked. Yay me!

(Apparently, having a spouse who is a software engineer doesn't necessarily guarantee YOU any more intelligence or aptitude.)

Predilections.

Paxton: Hey guys, I'm getting hungry (right before bed).

Me: Hmmm.

Paxton: Hmmm, what should I eat that won't give me cavities? *gasps* I know! Applesauce! Will that give me cavities?

Me: Well, that kind has sugar in it. How about carrots?

Paxton: Okay!!

Again, I am loving having a child that equates fruit with candy and vegetables with cheese. Yesterday he ate an entire raw green pepper while sitting on the counter, watching me stuff and cook some.

God is good.

Now on to Princess Ella, who prefers we put tabasco on things.

Long overdue.

I know, I know. It really seems as though I have dropped off the face of the planet, doesn't it? Well, I haven't. Not yet anyway. I have a few more things to delegate before I'm comfortable just doing crazy, unpredictable things like that.

Delegate. That's right. That is what I have learned to do over these last few weeks. Really. I have.

I was SO sick last week and I think something broke. I think that part of my brain that has always said 'you can do it', 'suck it up', 'get over it', 'offer it up' and the like, broke. That part that forces me to commit to doing things I have no business in my right mind committing to. It actually affects my inhibition. It must be somewhere near my hypothalamus.

Since my life threatening illness (overdramatization) of last week, things have changed. Yes, I am still a mother. I am still a wife. I am still a volunteer crisis pregnancy counselor, school board member, auction decoration chairwoman, and RCIA sponsor. I am still all of these things. But, I am now wearing a new hat.

My hat looks something like this; small enough that my view of the world is unobstructed. I can see things and people more clearly now, and I can see that my expectations of them and who they actually are might not always match up. And? And that's okay. My new hat is big enough to shade me from the harsh, blistering heat and fierce wind that threatens to throw me and the rest of "Team Prentice" off course.

So, what the hell does all that really mean? It just means that I can say "no" with a little more ease than I could before. I can't quite just say, "no", without having to do a little "padding" though. I haven't perfected that yet. Give me time. I'll get there. I can feel the calluses starting to form already. You know what I should pray for? That God will help me WANT to want to say 'no'. Right? Cuz I don't. Want to, that is. It's just getting to the point where my options are running out. There are only so many of me. And my children and husband aren't getting any younger. I can't imagine looking back at my life and thinking, "Man, I just wish I had volunteered more and worked more while the kids were little. We just spent way too much time together".

Now that the said life threating illness didn't take me out, I can focus my energy on helping the rest of my family muddle their way through it. So far, just Ella and Shepherd have had the respiratory and gagging problems. Looks like Steve and Paxton are next! Fun times, fun times.

Noni has been here for a couple days, as well. She went with me to the school to work on auction stuff last night and this afternoon she'll be helping the kids to carve pumpkins (that came from Grandma and Grandpa's garden!). I love that my children love their Grandparents like I loved mine. I love that I have allies in all of them, that they will back us up as parents but that they'll spin it in a way that convinces our children that the rules and regulations which are imposed on them "rock". I love that when Noni comes, slumber parties, cake eating, dressing up, reading and telling stories, and lots of singing and dancing are in order.

Noni is a little more lenient (okay A LOT more) with my children than I'd prefer at times. Though, so are Grammy, and Popi, and Grandma and Grandpa, and Grandma Great, and even Papa Joe at times. At the end of the day though, I know that they all know why we do what we do and say what we say to our children. I also know that it's an illness. It's a grandparent malady. A part of their brains are permanently destroyed. I am pretty sure it's close to the part of the brain that I was talking about earlier. This part of their brains, though, regulates the ability to say "no" specifically to grandchildren, to make their grandchildren eat sensibly, and to care about whether they look silly or not or have clean teeth. Those things being virtually immaterial to them. It's an illness. Do your parents have it? We should really think about setting up some sort of charity fund for them.

I digress. So, things are much better around here and my head is no longer in danger of spinning off of my neck. Life is good. My priorities are more in check. The auction is on the 4th of November, which also happens to be my mother's birthday, the day after my dad's girlfriend's birthday, and one of my best friend's birthday. Once those important things are over, I think I will breathe even easier. Either that or I'll just start obsessing about two of my childrens' birthdays in December, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

Okay, well, I might need a little more intervention than a week long sickness.

Sunday mornings...

I am finally feeling better. So much so, in fact, that I am baking scones on this beautiful Sunday morning. It feels so good to feel good again. Now I am fully armed to deal with the illness that is slowly but surely coursing through the veins of every other family member.

Another thing of beauty? Paxton got up and, first thing, put on his dress shirt and slacks saying, "I'm just going to look handsome for Jesus' house".

Just beautiful.

More later...

Day 4.

Yeah, that'd be me. Still sick.

On the upside, I'm no longer blowing brain matter out of my nostrils. Yay.

Stay tuned....

Yep,

still sick.

God's way...

of telling you to slow down a bit? To take it down a notch? Waking up with a head so congested it feels like it will explode at any moment.

Sick days and reading 'Cinderella' to my Princess Ella, in bed, all day long....or until I have to leave for more auction decorating tonight for three hours.

What an overcommitted, wicked web we weave.

Great minds think alike.

Talking to my mom this morning, who is, along with Steve's mom, busy working on a project to donate to the school for the auction:

Me: Mom, how's the charcoal drawing going?

Mom: Well, I'm having a hard time getting started. I just sort of keep circling the table, and making excuses to run back and forth to the art supply store. I just can't seem to get moving with it.

Me: Oh, mom, that's so sweet.

Mom: Yeah, 'sweet' in a retarded sort of way.

Two people and achy feet.

Today went well. I say 'well' with a bit of apprehension. I am tired. My feet hurt. I have been hungry and tired for about five hours now. I smell like asphalt.

I walked outside our local Family Planning for a total of about 7 hours today. Just paced. Back and forth, praying and talking.

Steve came and went, our director came and went, my dad came and went, and one more volunteer came and went. I only had to be alone for about 2 hours. It was a long two hours with Ella and Shepherd, but some of the most humbling two hours of my life. God and I had a good talk.

I will blog more about it later, after I've had time to process it and rest a bit.

On a really positive note, two people came over to talk to us, one a staff member and the other a passer-by. We reached two people today. How many do you think they'll reach?

The good life.....with a donkey and a refridgerator.

We are starting to plan for building again!

Steve has been busily making changes to our original design (of over a year ago) and I must say that I am starting to get really excited again. It really feels right this time and I ...eh hem.....have had to have a little attitude adjustment. Before, when we were planning the house, I got sort of OCD. I know, I know, hard to believe. Me? Obsessed or compulsive about something? It's so far off base it's hard to even imagine. Just try.

So, now that I decided to take a more Marian approach, things are going MUCH better. I am finding changes here and there to be fine, even, dare I say, great. I'm open to them all--well, I did have to veto someone's suggestion of having TWO refrigerators in the kitchen. That, quite honestly, seemed a bit excessive. I could see a mini fridge for all of our Schmidt, but to have a whole other full size refrigerator? Come on, now.

So...on with the house plans, and the three months that it take to get a permit to build in this county, and we'll be rockin'! Life is so good, so busy and so blessed. We really are truly blessed. It's really not fair. I don't think we have done anything to deserve all of the gifts God has given us. In fact, I can think of a few things I have done in my lifetime that make a good case for God to smite me.

So, in aspiring to take a more Marian approach in my life, I am leading the group (hopefully) of people who will be outside our local Family Planning clinic tomorrow. The American Life League and many bishops throughout the country have pushed for the first Monday in October to become the official Pro-Life Memorial Day, where we gather in silence to remember those lost to abortion and those mothers suffering the effects of abortion. Not a day to picket, or to be a loud presence at all. Just a day to wear red and gather outside these clinics. I sent out an email to about 30 people. I am a realist. I am fully aware that we'll be lucky if we get 10 people out there in total. But, we will trudge on--we'll trudge on for the 47,000,000 children we will never have the pleasure to know.

I'm not in the clouds. I know this is a really, really, really tough subject. It's tough to get people to even talk about, let alone stand outside a clinic. I truly don't expect everyone to feel excited about it or even just okay with it. My own husband seems really nervous. He has never done anything like this before and, frankly, I have only done it twice myself. But, I know that we can't grow toward God as long as everything always feels good and comfortable. We just can't. That's a relationship with God of our making, not of His. He wants us to stretch high, reach for Him. Reach higher than we think our arms can stretch. He'll meet us the rest of the way, easing the load somewhat, but we just can't ever stop reaching.

So, I am going to go now, get on the donkey that Joseph, I mean Steve, wants me to ride and prepare for an amazing life.

....a humble life, with only one refridgerator in the kitchen.

On my knees, in praise and thanks.

Last night, Mr. Bereit single handedly DOUBLED our funds raised from last year. He was amazing. I really would not do it justice to try to capture in words what he brought to our little pro-life community last night. I still feel a bit speechless.

I was motivated, moved, and humbled. It was a call to action. It was a call to step outside of our comfort zones. It's easy to write a check, or say a quick prayer and wash your hands. It is not easy to do what we should be doing, what we are called to do by the Good Shepherd Himself, to take care of His flock, those that are weaker and more vulnerable than we.

Our director, a board member and I got to have lunch with David before the banquet and talk with him a bit, asking him what we could do right here in our little community. He had some wonderful ideas that you will be hearing about here and there in the future as we start to implement them. :)

I was so happy last night to be surrounded by Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, Mormons, and Christians; people who have different doctrines and don't always see eye to eye. But, all were people who know that this is the greatest American tragedy and, as my Uncle Jim (who was a spy for the CIA and worked directly with the Russian KGB) says, quite frankly, is a bigger threat than communism.

Crossroads slideshow

Steve and I are feverishly working to get the slideshow done for the banquet tomorrow night!

Some quotes that we are putting in it:


"This is what the LORD says: 'Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls'".
Jeremiah 6:16


If it's not a baby, you're not pregnant.
Author unknown

"It is a povery to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
Mother Teresa


"Being pro-life doesn't save babies, acting pro-life does."
Dennis Green

And my personal favorite....


"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you. "
Jeremiah 1:5


On Friday, I'll post about how the banquet went. We have been gearing up for this fundraiser banquet for a while. My four hour shift today was a little on the stressful side, as we're coming down to the wire! Please pray for open hearts and open pocket books. This ministry is amazing and I have been so blessed to have been a part of it, to have been able to witness miracles, love, and transformation of hearts right before my eyes.

Cedar River Genocide....I mean, Clinic.

Shepherd and I got in the car at a little after seven o'clock this morning to drive about an hour a half away to an abortion clinic. We met about seven other Catholics and Protestants outside and prayed like nobody's business. So much so, in fact, that they didn't get any business the whole two hours we were there! I had Shepherd in the bjorn on the front of me, both of us carried a rosary in our hands. Some held signs. Beautiful, peaceful, pro-life signs. This was not a demonstration. This was just another Tuesday outside the clinic.

We were invited to do this by a woman who has been instrumental in the pro-life movement in Yakima. She is under the umbrella of 'Human Life' and has been doing this now for about six years. She tries to organize groups of Christians to go and pray on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They just had a save last week. The girl came over to them and broke down crying. This woman, now a friend, held that girl and told her that God was here with her now. If she'd let Him, He would walk right alongside her and she would never have to be alone again.

How beautiful.

Our message is not one of hate. It is not one of judgement. It is not one of violence, revenge or wrath. It is a message of hope. Of love. Of forgiveness. A message of life and of Christ.

The fundraiser dinner for Crossroads is coming up on Thursday night. I have really struggled with feelings of resentment-- resentment about how many Catholics (and Christians) SAY they are pro-life, SAY they care, SAY that their hearts break about abortion, about the stopping of a beating heart, and yet they do nothing. They are not willing to take the time, not willing to look silly or feel embarrassed by standing on a sidewalk, attending a pro-life banquet dinner, or even to just stand up for what they 'believe in'. I don't expect people to slap bumper stickers all over their cars, or stand in the street with blow horns. I just expect that when they are asked how they feel about someone murdering an innocent, tiny life that God created, they say, "It's wrong. Period. Jesus said so. The end".

Well, and if I'm being honest, I expect them to do everything they realistically can to educate others and to serve Him. A girl can dream, can't she?

David Bereit http://www.davidbereit.com is coming to speak at our fundraiser dinner. I am SO excited. Excited to meet him and to seek his counsel about what I can do around here to make a difference. An army of one? I suppose that's all it takes, right?

A final note; I cannot imagine how it must have felt, for those employees to walk outside of the clinic this morning, cigarettes in hand, seeing these same sweet, non-violent, sign-holding retired people that they are used to seeing and then looking over to see a new face. One, young 27 year old mother, with her happy baby strapped to the front of her, smiling at them and secretly praying for the day that they are walking right alongside her, like Miss Norma McCorvey, aka Jane Roe.

God works miracles. Every. Single. Day.

well-rounded femininity

How do you know your beautiful daughter is going to grow up to be a nicely well-rounded young woman?

When, after being asked to go pick out her two favorite books, she proudly walks into the room with "Sleeping Beauty" and "Everybody Poops".

That's our girl.

Roasting swine and dancing evangelicals

We just got back from a pig roast at the school. Yeah, you read that right. A pig roast. We crazy folk out west do that sort of thing with swine. We dig a hole. We put a whole pig on a stick. Then? Then we set it on fire and eat it when it's muscle, fat and flesh start to fall off of it's body. Okay, so it's a tiny bit more refined than that, but not much.

This dinner was donated by one of our local chiropractors at last year's auction. He is Hawaiian and apparently they do this sort of thing all the time over there. It was actually quite fun and no one got to (had to) see the actual 'roasting process'. Praise God.

Also tonight, while dining on swine, one of our friends (who recently converted to Catholicism, after attending Princeton Theological Seminary to become a Protestant minister!) leaned over to me and said, "Hey, you know why evangelicals are so against pre-marital sex? It might lead to dancing."

Now that, my friends, was worth smelling singed and salted swine mixed with the yummy smells of an old school gymnasium.

No, you're not crazy.

Yes, I did blog about a touchy subject earlier today. You likely read it. You likely thought to yourself, "Whoa, that's some pretty pithy stuff."

Yeah, it was. Pithy. Full of Pithiness.

So, until I have had time to digest it more and pray on it EVEN MORE, I'll hold off on asking for input.

Stay tuned.....

Top Ten

10. The amount of times I picked something out of Shepherd's mouth today.

9. The times I check my blog to see if someone posted on it--just to have some human contact!

8. The daily occurrences of me having to break up fights between Paxton and Ella over who gets to open the door or sit on the toilet first.

7. The loads of laundry I did today.

6. The big glasses of ice water I have had today.

5. The weeks on my calendar that are booked SOLID.

4. The amount of dishtowels this family goes through in any given day.

3. The amount of people in my life that actually rsvp to ANYTHING.

2. The Hail Mary's we managed to get through successfully during our "family decade" this evening.

1. The amount of fabulous husbands I have....and always will.

My life is busy. My life is blessed. My life can be summed up in a top ten list.

Maiden Voyage Masterpieces

Disturbing P.C.

No, not a personal computer. I'm talking about political correctness. You know, that phenomenon where you have to pretend that there really isn't a HUGE PINK ELEPHANT POOPING IN YOUR LIVING ROOM?

This whole thing going on with the Muslims who are outraged at the Pope for quoting someone else is really disturbing me. It has been on my mind a lot lately. I guess to speak more generally, this whole notion of having to be "p.c." is bothering me. If some stereotypes aren't true, then how exactly is it that a person or a group can become stereotyped? And, why exactly should the Holy Father be apologizing again? I missed that. In this instance, it seems many of the people of Islam are retaliating by doing exactly what it is that they were offended by being associated with just a week ago.

Disturbing.

My Aunt Meredith has this wonderful saying I have heard many times; " If you're always looking to be offended, you always will be." Right on, Auntie M, right on. At one of our staff meetings at my volunteer counseling job, I suggested that, at the fundraising banquet that we have coming up, we acknowledge all the mothers in the room who have chosen life (we are a pro-life crisis pregnancy center). Another of the volunteers quickly pipes up, "Well, I don't think that's a good idea at all. It puts people on the spot. And besides, some women can't even get pregnant." Hmmm. I, of course, reply back with "Oh, it all has to be so dang p.c. nowadays, doesn't it?" She fires back, "It's not p.c.! It's just being courteous."

Okay, let me get this straight. I cannot compliment or thank person "A" publicly because there might be someone in the room who can't do what I am complimenting person "A" on, or chose not to do what I am thanking person "A" for doing? Yeah, just wanted to get that straight. Forget it. This topic exhausts me.

So...I took my little brother's senior pictures this past weekend. It was a ton of fun AND I figured out that I am pretty decent photographer! Of course, Kellen was a great subject to work with and laughs so easily that it really was a ton of fun. I just keep adding things to the list of stuff I have been willing to try. Both my mom and my mother-in-law paid me some beautiful compliments about the photos. The sad thing is, while I am proud of myself and excited about this newly discovered ability, I keep thinking about all the things I still can't do. What is that? Why are we so self critical? To keep us humble. To remind us not to take ourselves too seriously, I suppose. My mom and I had a really good talk about this very thing while she was here. We just have to give it to God and know that our perceptions of ourselves are NEVER going to be accurate (which in no way means that we shouldn't treat our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, and feed, clothe, and excercise them accordingly! It just means that when looking in the mirror, we might as well be wearing big red clown noses and hula skirts. We are that distorted. )

Oh, an update about our over-commited household; we decided to scale back. We are no longer going to put clothes away, dress the children, feed the dog, or vacuum. Ahhh....that feels so much better. That stuff was really beginning to stress me out.

I can only imagine....

Our Lady of Sorrows. I can only imagine.

What must it have been like, to see your precious son, your first and only child, crucified? Nailed to the cross, bloodied, exhausted, and in complete agony.

I can only imagine.

Teach me grace. Teach me peace. Teach me mercy. Teach me to follow the Lord and His will for me, even when, especially when, I know it will cause me pain. Teach me this self sacrifice.

Thank you, beautiful Mother. We love you.

another quotable

Paxton: (last night, as I am bringing him his beloved, and missing since yesterday, stuffed Pooh Bear) Mom! That's what I'm talking about!

quotable

Me: Paxton, have you seen the baby's nail clippers?

Paxton: Yeah, they're on the counter right there. (Pauses, then with serious a face says) Mom, you can always ask me-- cuz' I know everything.

Oh, okay.

Coming or Going?

I have yet to decide for sure which one applies to this family. I was gone from Thursday to Sunday and Steve left yesterday and will be gone until late Friday night. Our poor children are going to forget Who's on first.

I went to the Oregon Coast last weekend to watch my little sister, whom I just met about two months ago, compete for the title of "Cranberry Queen" (similar to Junior Miss), and to watch my little brother, who I also just met, play in the Cranberry Bowl (highschool football). I also met their mother for the first time. I cannot believe how well it went. I prayed so long and so hard beforehand for grace, to be able to emulate our Blessed Mother. It was surreal to be in 'their' territory. I am so glad I was, though. At the end of the day, all we have is family. That's it. I cannot wait to begin this wonderful adventure of adding members to mine. No matter the circumstances, I am glad to just welcome more family.

Steve left for San Jose yesterday. He flew out of a neighboring town's small airport and volunteered to be "bumped", thereby scoring us TWO FREE TICKETS, roundtrip, to anywhere Alaska flies. We decided to go Boston (or maybe Maine) for our next vacation. Yay! Um, do you think it'll be cold there in late January? Hey, a little snow pack never hurt anybody!

We already booked Noni to come and stay. That will be so nice. I always have to do a little "damage control" after we take a vacation, but it's all worth it. Slumber parties, story telling under blankets with flashlights, dressing up, making cookies, and trips to the dollar store are Noni's games, 'The Spoiler' is her name. They so love it when Noni's here that they are actually disappointed when we come home. Seriously. Now that we have three children, we're going to have to start bringing out the big guns if we want to vacation anywhere other than the trusty fallback 'camping in the backyard'-- pulling sitters into our home instead of packing five people in two different directions. Our babysitting pool just got a lot smaller with the birth of our third.

So, I decided that, since we can't figure out whether we're coming or going, it would be helpful to make a list of all the activities and committees of which we are a part. Are you ready? Me: SAC (school finance), PTO, (school) Auction Decoration Chairperson, Crossroads (volunteer crisis pregnancy center), RCIA, and Book Club/Bible Study. Steve: bi-weekly Bible Study, Fiberactive committee, Committee to elect a local PUD Commissioner, RCIA, and technology maintenance for the school's lab--which has proven to be a bit more demanding than we thought. Then, at a glance, I can see that every. single. weekend. for the next five weeks is full.

So.. something is going to have to give. I just haven't figured out what yet. Maybe the kids?

A blogger friend blogged about a month ago about "doing too much", keeping us away from the home and from taking care of our own families. I have figured out that my activities are the equivalent of having a part time job on top of my full time job as Mom. I need to re-evaluate. I have and always will believe that when you serve others you serve God. We have been blessed financially and been blessed that Steve works from home most of the time. We've been blessed with healthy children and with personal talents that enable us to contribute in great ways. We have been blessed that, for the most part, we are willing to step outside of ourselves and our comfort zones and do something new, if it will be beneficial to others. I really like that about us.

What I don't like? Worrying that we are sacrificing "us" because we are doing too much for others.

There is a balance to be struck. I know that. But first, I need to sign Ella up for dance classes, Paxton for soccer, and myself for piano lessons. Is that too much? Yeah, on second thought, maybe we'll just stick to playing with playdough. They have plenty of time to hone their respective athletic abilities. No rush. I'm still trying to figure out how to throw a ball.

Did he really just say that?

Ella: (loudly whining) I just can't find my shoes anywhere!

Paxton: (playing with blocks in another room) Well, that's not a surpise.

Uh-oh.

The Sahara Desert or my living room?

I really can't tell you which one is hotter.

Our air conditioner broke at about midnight last night. Currently, it is eighty six degrees INSIDE. Whoa. I am developing a whole new appreciation for those that have no air conditioning, or no home at all. Can I still gripe, though?

The baby hasn't stopped crying all afternoon, Paxton has been wearing only underwear and a polyester Bob The Builder dress up shirt for the last hour and my mascara is currently melting off of my eyelashes. I just looked out the window to find Ella riding on her Barbie trike, wearing her princess dress, pink helmet, and Paxton's (size 12) tennis shoes.

Fall, anyone? Autumn? Harvest? Wicked cold nights with wool socks, sweaters and hot cocoa? A girl can dream.

Two kinds of people

Wally, from U-Build-It, this morning:

"There are two kinds of people; those whose homes reflect who they are and what their values are, and those who just want to keep the rain off their asses."

Thank you, and goodnight.

Imaginative play and worldly contributions

For as long as I have been a parent (about 4 1/2 years now), I have thought that imaginative play was important, yes, but certainly not instrumental in character development. I just thought it was a good release from the day to day challenges of constant learning, memorizing, discussing, and then more learning. Oh, no, how wrong I have been.

I had a nice morning with the kids; organizing, laundering, cleaning, and baking blueberry pie. I told the kids that they were free to play with whatever they wanted, but that whatever they did it had to be together and without fighting--no small feat for a precocious almost 3-year-old and a sensitive 4-year-old.

It was beautiful. We made magic wands for Ella's princess costumes and looked all over the house for random items that could be used for 'tools' for Paxton's costumes, including Bob (the Builder) and Thomas ( the Tank Engine). They danced around, fixed things, put sleeping spells on each other and laughed so hard. Together. They laughed together, being amused by each other. It was then that I had a parenting epiphany.

My children need imaginative play for so much more than an outlet. They need it to develop courage, strength, and character. Courage in the face of adversity or despair. Strength to be who they really are, even if everyone around them questions their ability. Character to be able to laugh, to be light-hearted, compassionate, to be a light to those without character. What a beautiful thing to watch them develop those things that make us who we are.

Recently, I have had the opportunity to really contemplate what it is that I want my children to be, my goals for them.

To say that I want my children to be 'team players' sounds so corny. But, it's true. I do. I want them to see someone in need and not think twice about helping them. I want my children to have a sense of humor and be able to laugh together and with us. I want them to be independent and able to take care of their needs when they are older, but I want them to always feel the importance of family, of hugs, of talking and encouragement. I want them to give complements freely and without hesitation and to care about making others feel appreciated. I want them to say 'please', 'thank you', 'excuse me' and 'I'm sorry' like the phrases are going out of style--because excellent manners take you much, much farther in the game of life.

I want my children to love God and want to serve Him and please Him above all others. I want them to pray hard, work hard, laugh hard, learn hard, sleep hard, try hard, love unconditionally and give of themselves, always. That, my friends, is character. Being the best you that you can be.

Imagine the possibilities. Then, play.

Are you sure I am qualified?

St. Rose school started four days ago. Since then, I have been at the school, at naptime everyday, working on getting invitations for our fundraising auction completed.That is on top of my usual Wednesday shift at Crossroads, having my mom visiting overnight, being at a candidate forum one night and having Steve be gone, in Seattle, two of those days.

How do you know you're overcommited? When you find yourself wishing you could get away with allowing your children a "Movie DAY". Not a movie night, or a movie afternoon, but a MOVIE DAY. Usually, Friday nights are 'family movie and pizza night', but today I really wanted a 'pajama, movie, pizza, chocolate cake, latte, silent children day'.

Must. Press. On. Must. Walk. Upright. All. Day.

I love that this is a three-day weekend and I love that a girlfriend and I are going shopping at the outlet malls ALL day tomorrow for school clothes for the kids. Ella isn't in school yet but, like Paxton, she, too, must be the clothing pioneer for the future girls in this family. I have carefully organized and saved ALL of the clothes for each sex into bins and labeled them. Can I tell you how much I love the fact that Steve can go out into the shed tomorrow morning and, because Shepherd is needing 9-12 mo. clothes, look up and see the bin with the corresponding size and grab it? I can then open it up and find AWESOME boys clothes that I haven't seen in, oh, about four years and be totally excited for Shepherd to have a whole 'new' wardrobe. Best of all? It's already paid for. Good thing I don't shop for or buy into 'fads'--else this whole plan of mine might not be so fruitful.

It's a nice weekend coming up. School clothes shopping, bbq's, play time at a friend's pool, Mass, and more work on auction stuff. We are so blessed to have lives that are wonderfully full with so many friends. I may complain about being busy but, at the end of the day, I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't work outside the home, so making sure we spend time with other families is really important to me. I want that to be modeled for my children. I don't have to leave the house every day or 'get a job' to get it, I just need to create it for my family and for myself--conscienciously create it.

So, there are days when I feel almost like Super Mom and there are days when I just wish it could be a Movie Day. Qualified to be a parent? I hope so.

Oh, exterminators came this morning and killed all of the Black Widows that have been mistakenly thinking that our home would be a perfect dwelling place in which they may procreate and become Overcommited Super Moms themselves.